Immoderate Musings;
Quibblesome Quarrels;
Risible Rhapsodies on
Music and Morals

Silly sallies into the
sportive prolixity of
sesquipedalian taradiddles and
daffy dillies of diddling fiddle-faddle
filled with philosophical flapdoodle.
by
David Van Alstyne



Dedicated to my father
Arvo Van Alstyne
in memory of his oft repeated advice to me as a little boy:

"In promulgating your esoteric cogitations,
and articulating your superficial sentimentalities,
sedulously eschew prolixity and circumlocution, and
rigorously minimize rodomontade and thrasonical bombast.
In short: don't use big words."

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1) Hurling herculean hype and hyperbole in
hysterical hails of exhortation
hewn in humorless hues of hubris and
honed and toned to the inflammation
of
2) hoarsely harping and hardily carping in a
howling hullabaloo of harsh allegation by
high-minded homilies and haughty huffs and puffs of
irascibly hierophantic expostulation,
or
3) haranguing hog-wild in perfervid philippics in a
harebrained ballyhoo of histrionic oration (a
most outstandingly inadvisable invitation to the
outing, by inadvertent hypostatization
of the
4) harrowing, unwholesomly hideous hubbub of
sermonic temper tantrums so tellingly tainted by
bouts of convulsive delirium, dyspeptic
hidrosis and psychosomatic hyperventilation)
can only
5) serve to impede the fatidic advent of a
golden age of Apollonian apperception and the
securely consequential ramification of its
expeditiously preternatural precipitation
of
6) epiphenomenal societal ascesis and its
provenance of factional restraint and coaptation; a
conceptual meal; a delicious ideal, though as
yet, still a high pie-in-the-sky vaticination
from the
7) hard-bitten, heroically incontrovertible esperance of
irreversible immigration into a happy combination of
utopian sunshine, universal good will,
intrinsic well-being, and ultimate sanctification
(for
8) many, an ancient futurological abstraction, yet
evidentially, a concrete eschatological destination; a
peaceable pandect; a teleology of fate framed in
faith-bolstered grit and presentimental anticipation)
while
9) fleetly floundering and foundering yet further into a
forbiddingly befouling fog of festinate failure by
foolhardily forfending any informal figment of forum featuring the forthrightly fructifying fomentation
of
10) even the fictively fainthearted feigning of
chary eschewal toward the unnaturalization, far less the
sightly semblance of sedulous limitation, if
not the actual razing and final eradication,
of the
11) ignoble offices of institutional vice which
spurn sublimation (but spawn facilitation of the
accursedly mercenary normalization) of
all our nefarious forms of naughty stimulation
under its
12) protective aegis of low-life legalisms; an
addlepated ethos of unlimned liberation; a
competent configuration to brace, boost and buttress our
buzzardliness in blindly besotted infatuation
with
13) all the hot choler and hair-triggered spleen spewing from
fabulistic furnaces of larcenous litigation and
founded on such darned dillies of diddling fiddle-faddle,
philosophical flapdoodle and follies of ideation
as the
14) damnatory, diabolically dismissive despoliation of
guileless glad-handing and free fraternization, a
depreciatory opiate of riskless asepsis in the
indurate idlesse of our collusive invocation
of the
15) indisposing ails of ennui; the undiscountable ills of
neoteric acedia (a lamentable agglomeration), and the
ectopically pernicious spread and proliferation of
selfward doubt and down-putting denigration
in our
16) amorphously afflictive malaise of abulia; our
accordant quandary of anomic diffidence and the
destructively chafing and abrading afflatus of our
stolid estrangement, that absorptive alienation
which
17) elicits an array of antinomian gymnastics, an
unfunny facade of gumption unto a fountain of
facile furies: fussy fusillades of withering
disgust and hypocritical horror at the imputation
of
18) figuratively flitting, fluttering and fumbling in a
flailing kerfuffle of funambulistic flouncing through
more than a few frantically futilitarian fits and flusters of
rending rectitudinal flexure and fluctuation,
and is
19) propense to deign neither to cast aspersions, nor to
pass glances askance or of any other discoloration, nor in
silence to suffer any idiolectally idiotic slams from
certain snippy snipes who sling stigmatization
on
20) common anomolies of jejune impropriety, or
idiomatics of opprobrious ethical variation, or
electrifying afronteries of moral turpitude at the
very vanguard of actionable legal aberration.



No.
21) Not with the contemporary currents of ochlocracy in
this, our own halcyon heyday of habituation to
heinous heedlessness and wholly heathen decadence; our
convivially cozy, self-coddling collaboration
in
22) headless hedonism; our alarming acquiescence in the
exoneration, even to the point of homologation, of
such widely disparate modes of accreditation (an
entire catalogue of distemperate depravation);
our
23) brassy bravado and unbuttoned braggadocio in what
should be the daunting dint of Dionysian debauchery; our
attitudinized affinities of hasty approbation, if not
unapologetically apoplectic promulgation,
of
24) swimming with the hordes in swamps of sewerly swill with
drunken delight and downright ditsy delectation in the
routing; the disastrously dizzying devaluation, through
higgledy-piggledy daily deformation, of civilization
wherein,
25) haplessly hamstrung, more than half- haggard and harried,
horribly hampered, harassed, hassled and hectored into an
unlaughable phylogenetic phase of bleary-eyed haze; an
unseeing, glassy glaze of impending incapacitation,
we
26) carelessly cruise and carouse, careening ever closer and
closer to a collision with functional cessation until,
clearly unkenningly, we court a collective calamity of
real rue, ruinous rack and relegation
to the
27) proverbial landfill; the dustheap of history; in a
turbid imbroglio of reckless flirtation with
uncurbed carnal caprice; a dark indication of our
growing gravitation to the threshold of obliteration,
ever in
28) sleepy subjection to the natural operation and
ongoing force of omnidirectional centrifugation, in
apathetic nescience to the increasing acceleration of our
hair-raising plunge into the dumps of decimation;
into a
29) down-home drubbing of unprecedented despair; a
subliminal Hades of drudging dilapidation; a
potentially depilatory dystopian desert of
dilemmatically dysphoric deformity and derogation;
into a
30) drought of drear and incurable disrelation; by the
undoing of dulling dolor and disrelishable desiccation, into the
very nidus and presage, the ripsnorting bull's eye, of
distinctly irremeable, contortive exacerbation,
not just the
31) odd petty, namby-pamby epicyclical episode, or a
lean little kink of ephemeral irk and irritation, nor a
cagey charade based on somewhat psychotic denial of
dopey perplexity and inexplicable exasperation,
but the
32) gaping specter of no less than Armageddon; a
real humdinger of apocalyptic bust: a
global Gotterdammerung; a killing katzenjammer of
unmitigated miff mixed with febrile frustration
through our
33) wretched warfares; our whopping wants and whimsies; our
wandering, wishfully wayward and willingly willy-nilly through a
windswept wilderness of self-whittling witless wonder: an
eerie moonscape of hypnopompic speculation
until,
34) by and by, we all come to incuriously ape a
pyretic pandemonium of little panicking pismires in a
peculiarly imprudent procession, an incommodiously
peppy parade; an acephalous peregrination
down a
35) primly pruned primrose path; a prissy promenade: a
well-buttered chute in the impendent transpiration of a
prelusive epitasis of flabbergastingly short-sighted
spiritual suicide and perky self-desecration
in a
36) variously variegated vastitude of lechery; the
expansive attractions of lascivious incontinence
unhinderedly heading us straight into the absurdly siren,
perilous imminence of ignominious immolation
in the
37) fire-pits of uneducably libidinous callosity (and a
paucity of any pensive equiponderation!); in an
increasingly deafening inducer of infuriation; a
molto crescendo of cacophonic cachinnation;
a
38) creepy concoction of crapulous crassitude; an
all too perceptibly frequent demonstration of
occult cabalas crammed into steaming cauldrons of
heaving voluptuosity in the constant provocation
to either
39) rifle and raven all the smudging sludge and slime, or to
passively partake of the gaudy agglutination, that
monstrous cornucopia of cyclopean quantification, that
kaleidoscopic Babel of titanic temptation
to
40) pack a pitiful profit from all the prodigality in those
overactive engines of profluent profligacy which
imbrue the knotty nub; the nasty nettlesome nodus of the
glowing inferno of ontological perturbation
in this
41) pandemic bash; this plentifully Babylonian bacchanal of
protean perversity and irrepressible promiscuity; this
flighty, but flightlessly farcical festival of
fiendishly enfevered infectious inebriation
with
42) surely the most calculably brummagem chimera, or
contemptible course of constrictive divination
ever cooked up in great big broiling vats and
smugly immured in visionless evaluation,
to
43) come up and threaten with the menace of correlation with
significant shrinkage by paedomorphic retardation anyone's
already assailably arenaceous foundation of
gnosis, life-sense and even cognitive registration
by a
44) ruddy ruse of spin, balmy bon mots of embellishment,
selective report and relativistic rationalization, leaving
many of us dumbstruck in wide-eyed befuddlement by its
bold and benumbingly effusive dissimulation
of the
45) "as ye sow, so shall ye reap" sort of certitude of
wrenching remorse in the rascally wreaking of wreckage; in the
ineluctable reaping of an unhallowed harvest
redolent of karmic wrath, rebuke and damnation
long
46) garnered by the gleaning of glop, garbage and guck; a
moldering mass of myriad meretricious chaff; the
toxic bottom scrapings; the dregs, dross and detritus, the
grounding guerdon of expediential miscomputation;
that
47) smoldering trash; that aromatically moldy mash of
refuse grown from seeds tossed up and scattred in
malodorous whirlwinds; turgid williwaws from the
old playgrounds of pruritically prurient imagination;
those
48) drafty nether regions of the unschooled mind; that
psychic tumultuary from whence seem to be hatched all
germinal eidolons of dastardly design on
criminal acts of glandular gratification.



But the
49) refulgent recrudescence of orchidaceous elan;
(Eureka!) the irradicably robust calibration of
long since abandoned, swimmily unswaddled,
youthfully eudaemonistic self-congratulation,
once so
50) gratingly giddy; so roguishly raffish; so
rankly randy, so critically callous and callow; so
blastedly bland and blithely oblivious to
such common-sensical concerns as humiliation,
like a
51) fiery, feisty phoenix, having once lily-liveredly
faltered in a Fabian frivolity of flat-footed
flopping in dullardly dalliance and defalcation,
now in a tardy little moiety of compensation,
at
52) last here rises up in a blinding lightning flash; a
commandeering crash of thunderous fulguration; a
galvanizing blaze; a brashly bellicose craze; an
intractable transfiguration in protestation
against the
53) way we wanly wangle, wilt, whimper and whine, wallowing
wimpishly woebegone in a woozy welter of weltschmerz, all the
while half-heartedly hastening to hedge our bets through
lethally lubric, venal vizards of vacillation
in a
54) sagging, soul-shrinking torpor of dulcet dupery; being
lost in the sequela of confusion and dislocation where we
complaisantly fall into and freely follow a fallow rut; a
rigorously rocky road of regressive resignation
to the
55) reactionary rubbish of eremitic retirement: a
bad bill of hokum; a hallucinatory confection; a
bogus nostrum for sparse restoration through
erethically misoneistic stasis and hibernation;
to the
56) pursuit of retrograde rest through nidification in a
downy cocoon of neuroleptic capitulation to a
punctilious plot of claustrophobic reclusion in
stiff-necked, pallidly parochial insulation
against the
57) hegemonic peanut gallery of cackling hacks and gasbags,
persnickety, cretinous criticasters all crabbily crowing their
grumpy little gravamens of contumelious animadversion in
wicked wisecracks of unwarranted exultation;
against their
58) over-bloated gloats of cryptogenic invective making
spiteful spittle for the transgressive irrigation of
churlishly canorous canards, mordacious epithets and a
tizzy of taunts in inculpatory excoriation
for our
59) colloguing in any kind of socratic affiliation with
those who would ever think to nurture the conceptualization of
mutual outreach and neighborly cooperation in the
unrushable course of our temporal maturation,
and for
60) coming out to candidly query the quotidian quiddity of quantum
development, discussible reclamation and regeneration by the
quickening quintessence of our shared commiseration and
communal comity in concordant self-desquamation
so
61) typically, efficaciously partitive and appendant to the
attainment of convincing coherence in the conventionalization of that
comely colloquiality which uncorks the convalescence of
more cogent modes of consultation and deliberation
which
62) draw from the source of truly trenchant excogitation: to be
specific, the higher wisdom of lowly supplication for the
softening succor of supernatural distillation in
aiding the consortium in suprarational consideration
unto
63) advancing a bedrock experiential understanding of the
volatile vicissitudes and variously vagrant velleities in our
verily restive repose; a wildly optimistic
travesty of self-divesting self-neutralization;
in our
64) insidiously vitiating zeitgeist of insistently
obsessive and gustatorily pliant esurience which
builds up such a sacred science of gimcrackery in the
support of omnivorously voracious commercialization;
that
65) entanglingly tentacular umbrage of tinge; that
tenebrous, ominously omnibus adumbration of a
catalytically cleaving reclassification; just a
colossal mass of wholesale disintegration
which is
66) liable to smoke out and drive the most impressionable and
particularly simple-minded portions of the population into a
crumpled slump; an autonomic collapse; a
sapless lassitude of dismay and devitalization,
while
67) speedily dispatching, with all embarrassing promptitude and
unseemly celerity, into a downward modulation,
many anxious multitudes of hitherto loftier tier,
rank, image, esteem, caste, standing and station,
even
68) erstwhile prestigiously powerful high pooh-bahs of
otherwise tranquilly taciturn, saturnine,
serenely irenic, well-settled and sanguinely sapient (if
perhaps a bit stoutly straitlaced) equilibration
into
69) serpentine sequences of sinfully silly sallies
suffused with secretively sinister signification; into the
staging of solecistic spectacles and sundry sorry
scenes of senselessly supercilious elation
by
70) sulking and skulking, by sneaking and slowly slinking with
soldierly skills of starkly ophidian stealth; by
sashaying into sudorifically strenuous raids and forays,
incursions and sorties of sanguineous recreation;
into
71) unplanned, puzzling impieties of impetuosity and
utterly earthy acts of imbecilic irrationality, and as
pugnacious punks impertinently unimpressed by
procedurally edentulous legal reprobation,
into
72) rakish enterprises full of polychotomous botcheries; a
display of temerariously atavistic abstrusities; a
repertoire of other abhorrently ungainly gaucheries of
unrepeatable, inenarrably inelegant confrontation;
into
73) caddishly caballing in clubby cliques clearly conducive to
chummy, cravenly scummy capers of clownery, to
cowardly cavorts of intramural crunching and punching in
uncomical donnybrooks of pugilistic aggravation
which
74) comprise unpardonably puerile poltrooneries of
people-pounding and pummeling and the added characterization of
peripatetic prowls for purloining and pilfering in the
unjustifiably light-fingered expropriation
of
75) portable property (Egad! and Forsooth! such
pluck in transpicuously Tartarean usurpation) in
not exactly the least ludicrously lurid of lunes in this
meteoric crisis; even the loony escalation
of
76) minimindedly moronic moxie in the most errantly
purposive, unimaginably active perpetuation of
myriad miscellaneous misdemeanors and curmudgeonly
trespasses of buoyantly barefaced non-cooperation,
not to
77) mention those grimly grabbing dramatics of cloying pathos; those
potent plays plying precatory manipulation; that
Punic posing; those stage-front grisly theatrics of
such canny connivance in careful calculation
as to
78) address the whole wide scalably seedy spectrum in the
childish conduct of multifarious misfeasance (of
comportment, decorum, constraint, probity and politesse, it
certainly seems a somewhat serious abnegation
which
79) simply serves to prove incredibly insular,
impossibly preliminary, dissuasively delusional,
preposterously presumptuous and deplorably Promethean their
revoltingly ruffian rites of self-idolization
in the
80) naively nutty, nonchalantly narcissistic,
bafflingly idiopathic, yea even insupportably
pretentious and pathetically precritical prolepsis of their
own self-worship on a vector of deification)
as they
81) merrily rove and rave, ravage, pillage and plunder like
marauding bands of highly pixilated blunderbusses;
die-hard delinquents doing dreadfully drastic deeds of
deleterious demerit and demential indignation
as if
82) flung in a froth, frenzied, fumbling and fuming, into
fugacious fandangos, frenetic fugues and frissons of
fastuous fanfaronade: fantods and fiascos of
fully unfurled manic disorientation;
like
83) gaggles of goofy goose-stepping galoots,
gee-whiz guerillas and pinheaded palookas all
eclamptically accreting suppletory certification of a
well-earned rap and really regrettable reputation
for
84) buccaneerishly galumphing into grievous garboils of
chthonian uproar and terpsicoresan bedlam, and for
gallivanting in great gyres of callithumpian chaos in a
three-ring circus of near-simian agitation;
like
85) pie-eyed picaroons; bozos bouncing about,
bibulously bound in graceless confederation; like a
bunch of bedraggled deadbeats, perennially polluted and
thoroughly smashed from lots of lusty libation
as if
86) well-oiled and potted; plastered three sheets to the wind in an
uproariously dipsomaniacal phantasmagoria; like
flunkies falling down in a fescennine fantasyland, an
engulphing insanity of epicurean degeneration;
like
87) ungrateful vagabonds; ne'er-do-wells wasting their weal in a
jadedly subfusc, limpid limbo of leisure; like a
touring carnival of shiftless jackanapes dawdling in a
desultory drift of Cyrenaic misappropriation;
like a
88) monolithic school of expressionless ichthyoids
insensibly free-floating downstream through Erebus in a
cussed complicity of reproachable convention; a
catastrophic shtick of cataleptic conformation
until at
89) last straitly stopped and stuck, stalled, stymied and stifled,
stinted, strapped and stranded, sorely stricken, stunned and startled,
stirred up and starkly stung, soundly slammed, well slapped and
painfully pinched, pricked and pierced by the sudden scintillation
of
90) successive sockdolagers of Solomonic sobriety
followed, anon, by a balmily prompting undulation of
warming waftures of reluctant intuition and
zephyrs of inscrutably sagacious mentation
(which
91) subsequently start to spark small shudders, then
spasmodic shocks and ataxic seizures of
staying chagrin and forcefully bestilling savvy:
momentous muscular memos of sanative incitation
to
92) swell in one excruciating singularization of
peremptory sorrow and slackening self-censure;
below and beyond bemusement, bent into a destitution of
self-abasing abashment and abject prostration)
they
93) reinventively rise up and recant, reconnoiter, reconsider,
reorder, retrench, remap and regroup in recuperation to
resolutely resound, without even so much as a soupçon, or the
slightest rudimentary remnant of any real reservation,
by
94) screeching, squeaking, squealing, squalling and squawking in
calamitous counterpoint; high-decibel dilatation;
stentorian anathema; a moiling exhibition of
ungodly commotion in aleatoric ululation;
a
95) tornadic furor in a redoubtable detonation of
ear-shredding shrieks in stridulous harmonization; a
swirling saturnalia of shrill, sharply strident shouts and
unsavory salvos not fit for publication;
a
96) ceaseless cascading of bloodcurdling caterwauls; a
searing torrent of clattering grunts, croaks and cries; an
abrasive brandishment; a discordant concatenation of
rabid rants and acidly acrimonious exclamation
at the
97) wrong-headedly rowdy, ribald, raucous and raunchy; the
battering, even butcherly, unboundedly bad, brusque and bawdy; the
just plain studiously lewd, crude and laconically rude,
consuetudinary excuse for polite communication
which,
98) worse than the usual bandying of empty-headed codswallop or
apothegms of bewilderingly ambiguous badinage, is a
brazen blazonry in the peddling of brainless balderdash; such
belching banter, a misbegotten encapsulation
of the
99) maddeningly deceptive tenure and acceptation of a
common but inexcusably unscrupulous customization; a
chic but scabrously offensive and fatefully foul affaire; an
artifice of ruthlessly unprincipled adulteration:
(alas) the
100) notably utilitarian and (aha!) suspiciously Faustian
aesthetic of misread rights and victimization, of
adrenergic angst, anger and self-relinquishing eager submission to
Pavlovian pawnship and distractive dehumanization;
that
101) phenomenon of infamous finesse in malefic flimflam,
irreformably fly flab and flatly flagrant flatulence; that
deceitfully forgetive, strongly astringent asperity of
Spartanly steely zeal in theoretical sanitization
which
102) ironically seems to belie all the brackish banality of its
own particular forms of poverty-stricken petrification, being
calmly copacetic in the scurrilously scrofulous and
sordid sterility in the seamy evocation
of
103) poison so sheeny and putatively appealing yet so
puissantly paralyzing to what precious little remains of
conscience in the venerable old bastions of conservation, of
traditional good taste and puristic delineation;
so
104) nocent to the plexus, so bedimming to the very nexus of our
quondam concentered and once-shared righteous notions that our
watchfulness weakly wanes now from wide-eyed waking to
nearly comatose in indiscriminate toleration.



In
105) trying to dredge the depths of this cockeyed conundrum as if to
unravel an unfathomable nebulosity by impetration, feeling
clobbered over the head and left (for seconds) almost speechless in a
dumbfounded conniption of incredulous consternation;
even
106) snowed, blindsided and buffaloed, by hunkering down in a
pungent putrescence, a cool, cowering sequestration from the
reek and the stench, the olfactory violation, of this
benighting, but emphatically beloved, abomination,
I
107) must, with sheepish contrition, confess that even
I sometimes become part of the whole unholy mess when
acceding to the pleasingly hypnagogic seduction, the
ubiquitous snare, of vernacular acculturation
by
108) tumbling headstrong, headlong through that hidden trapdoor, being
had, nabbed, unhinged, tricked, tackled and taken by the
elusive lure, the fool's gold, of slumming sedation and
far too entrancingly pragmatic transmigration
wherein,
109) whatever the instrument, voice or venue, far too many a
stick-in-the-mud, nominally classical music presentation, to the
audience, must seem like a cause for reparation; an
ugsome happening of chafing de facto incarceration
where, as
110) if they had all wanted to purchase the rare privilege of
attending detention in a hostage situation, they
gradually notice themselves bruised and beleaguered:
mired in a morass of drowsy discombobulation
which
111) ere long dampens their dander down to discomfiture which
then descends to the ends of squirming discountenance while their
disconcerted disquietude further deliquesces to
points past the discipline of stoic desperation,
and thus a
112) tryingly outre, auditively ataractic ordeal (at
very best, a sour hour of dour disconsolation) finally
devolves into a smelter of unendurable adversity; a
morphinic abyss of such eroded conation
that when the
113) dustup, the slugfest, the motley melismatic melee, the
maelstrom of musical mayhem, mercifully melts (and the
storm subsides and lo, the ructions retreat, then
behold, and listen! a bucolic bombination,
the
114) efflux of anarchy, upheaval and seige; a
pacific solatium; an arcadian vacation (as a
matter of fact, it's really nothing much more than a
strangely stertorous sort of susurration
from a
115) soothing surfeit, an anxiolytic desert, of
understandably escapist rest and relaxation) now
rises up, all too readily arousing a reformative rush of
pride-impairing, richly rubefacient realization
that by
116) some sort of seriocomically soporific snafu, in
truth, the timely anodyne of symphonic etherization, they are
all gently lulled into a semblable senectitude,
lost in private idylls of languid nutation,
which
117) brings us forthwith, at last well past the cast for
futzing in folderol or fudging hesitation, to the
gist and the grist of this excursive disquisition; this
modest proposal imploring for regulation
that we
118) sublate our bewitchingly perfunctory preference for
languishing in lethargically phlegmatic procrastination by
taking the first steps toward redemptive obviation of
such distressingly insubstantial subrogation
by
119) bravely essaying past a plodding modality, a
paltry, poky, merely hypothetical formulation of
rambling, probatorily irrelevant research, into the
actual clinical trial, by direct implementation,
of
120) admittedly on the fringe, and if in more than a few ways,
well okay, I guess a little radically avant-garde, and
yes, even conceivably a bit impractically far-fetched, but
nonetheless compulsively fastidious, experimentation
with the
121) pre-emptive disbursement of minor medical assistance from
amphetamines, (yes, indeed! the nutritive application, by
somewhat surreptitious supply and distribution: the
donation of strategic pharmaceutical invigoration),
that is,
122) little measured morsels of molecular design, always
offered sub rosa with judicious synchronization, namely,
quietly handed out concomitantly with the playbill: that
usual basic fare of printed information
at least
123) depending on the music, at carefully chosen concerts their,
although always generously complimentary, of course, yet
still, by all means otherwise, wisely discretionary
stringless gift, issuance and free dissemination
for the
124) fostering of fine, friendly philophonetic fellowship through
high giddy games of glad-handing and phatic persiflage, if
not the sharpening of judgment, as well, by the nascence of
knowledgeability in matters of music appreciation.



But
125) seriously now, to suggest a less questionable
premise for culminant cultural convocation, and a
bit more enticing to those few among us of a
little less certifiably frivolous inclination,
I
126) hereby dare to propose a probably improbable but
contradistinctively responsible recommendation; a
felicitous phantasm which certainly embodies much more
intriguingly sound and salubrious innovation
for
127) strictly exogenous and therefore assuredly more
deeply satisfying and acceptably accessible,
less evanescent and much more achievably
comprehensible transports of innocent excitation;
a
128) much better maneuver; a much more tenable tack
plainly more propitiously propped up with promise for an
independent, sempiternally replenishable plenitude of
pluripotently multiplicative perceptual augmentation:
namely, with
129) clear, clarion clamor and cultured conspicuity, our
assiduous avowal and adamant acclamation of
intrepid, perennially saponaceous expurgation by our
climbing the cuspate acclivity toward acclimatization
to the
130) altitude of altogether cleansing oblation by
complete repentance unto reboant repudiation of the
discredited and crumbling credo of hackneyed acting and
ancillary hebephrenically foppish affectation;
our
131) crusade for bewitching interpretive crystallization with
such newly higher levels of differentiation as can
only hope to be heard in the finalization of our
keenly perspicacious care and preparation;
a
132) dependably true and ever faithful reflection of
refractive reverence in the ever delicate gestation of its
sublime and indeed supernally incandescent powers of
lift, levitation and empyrean edification,
by the
133) aerial ascendency of our hotly addressing the
amply amendatory alembic of amelioration through a
rough, rugged and roundly renovative revolution of
rescission, rejection and raw renunciation
of
134) all things that might turn out to be finally found
invested with an aura enticing of apperception
all the more widely seen in hindsight's so conveniently
concise and coldly clarifying confirmation
as the
135) axiomatic prototype; the surprising peak and epitome of
extravagantly eximious exemplification; a
bona fide life-changing lesson of radiant insight; an
inimitable instrument of apt illustration
which
136) simply renders a bleakly brambly bromide out of
any misapprehensive supererogation of
conjecturally extrapolatory exertion in the exercise of
epexegetically epistemological expatiation;
no
137) less than an archtypically stellar luminosity; a
hard working laser lamp of inductive diagnosis; a
most decidedly definitive delamination of
pointed pertinency in the empirical indagation
of this
138) superveniently garish glut of gimmicky gewgaws and
tawdry pop slop: tidal waves of hieratic hog wash, along with the
stress and traumatization of its thorough assimilation in
what still seems to be our insuperable solicitation
of the
139) perhaps beguiling but also begriming and bestially
imbruting inundation and throbbing saturation of
so much corrosive and corruptingly invasive
sonic salaciousness and sensualization
in
140) favor of, (albeit at least for the hoi polloi -
that is, as they say, your regular rummy rabble and riffraff -
less appreciable, yet no less elysian)
fields in what should be realms of revelation
for
141) which, for all their far surpassing infinitude of
ineffably blissful and blessing beautification, we
still seem to sink to wink at seeking a stink of
droning, ham-fisted, supraliminal unsubtilization
(in a
142) gonzo Gehenna of gullible gulosity and
Sisyphean toil well embroidered, for show of
competitive servility, with the heaving of thespian sighs and
globular beads of synthetic perspiration)
by
143) unbudgeably indulging ourselves in all the engrossments of
entropic indolence and myopic amentia while
raddled, self-bilked and insouciantly soused in a
summative stupefaction that harbors hebetation:
ever an
144) irredeemably uncouth, well knockably hidebound,
imperviously wayward, obscurely synergic,
obstinately xylocephalic, truly obtuse and
(apologies to sheep) ovine order of aspiration.



(It
145) must take no less than the unlikely likes of such an
endless, pestiferously impassioned induration; a
portentous prominence; an exotically pagan plague; a
palpably protrusive insurgence and infestation;
a
146) gaunt gestalt; an ungovernable impersonalization of
basely banausic and ratty ratiocination for the
commensurately bovine grasp and captivation of this
unconditional consignation to such uglification
as well as a
147) tragic, thaumaturgic existential convergence; an
unforseeably solipsistic coincidence and conspiration of
stringently strained and sheerly sciolistic sophistry and
scoffably stilted and stuffy pseudo-sophistication
to
148) mount, maintain and sustain such a minatory
mist in the miasmatic mystification of the
fuzzy feasibility of mutely muzzy mimicry in
all manner of misdeed and malleable malversation.)



As I
149) simmer and stew in the slough of accomodation, a
slow-brewing broth of indigestible denegation,
queerly quivering and quite easily queasy from
perpending my own unavoidable participation
in this
150) unseasonable winter; this waking Walpurgis Night of
valetudinarian floccipaucinihilipilification; this
brutally betokening, unwelcomely weighty wallop; this
boom of gloom, doom, looming death and devastation;
this
151) detestably down-dumbing dunning of demoralization by
bombastic bluster and unblinking bloviation from the
jungle of juvenescent jackals, nerve-jangling and
jarringly jeering in their jumping jubilation,
my
152) knees tend to buckle; I roll around writhing, really
rubbed and riled at all the revelry rising from this
quaking quagmire of unquotably querulous quibbling in
such demonstrably inexpugnable energization
as to
153) surely douse any decent sense of discernment with a
drowning, cataractous deluge of dubitation on the
faintest shimmer, the dimmest glint or dislimned
glimmer of any primordial predetermination
for a
154) sharp, smart and happily snappy solution of
salvifically salutary intellectualization, or
any foresightful provision for the abbreviation, if
not for the actual pellucid penetration,
of all the
155) diurnally damaging, beholdably, abundantly batty
bumblings of the Unbelievably Bubbleheaded Booboisie; that
bourgeois plurality of overbearing bimbos and their
knee-jerk reaction: the reflexive limitation
of
156) any sort of challenge or hypothetical danger from the
tutorial workings of introspective excavation in the
transitory maw of soul-searching self-assessment or
any other sort of spirit-everting examination.



Indeed, the
157) penumbra of highly glorified glitter, glitz and glamour within
even the most instinctively cautious and conservative,
respectfully recessive, tentative and timorously
realistic, (in a word: unromantic) visualization
of
158) wanting to resort to horizontal aerobatics; a
vaudevillian side-show of ballistic punctuation; a
straightforward, swashbuckling, slubbering swan song of
hyposensitizing high-velocity self-defenestration
now
159) finally fades to moot in the deflation of cancellation by
high-timely virtue of lugubrious moderation; in a
fortuitous five-star funk of autosuggestive fatigue and a
thankworthy benefaction of neurasthenic dissipation;
in a
160) recessional inanition of anorectic dispassion; an
attitudinal climate of costive immobilization; a
benedictory boon of demolishing disinterest; a
superfetation of anaphylactic enervation,
and
161) now a bit wiser, well wizened and wearily wistful, I
woozily wobble, wary of wiggling and whiffling in
wrenching doubt, disconnection, distrait decrepitude and
limp-wristed, washed-out volitional debilitation
from the
162) gruesome gaffes, gags and gadarene grotesqueries; the
unaccountable commissions of astronomical nincompoopery; the
madness so nocuously rife, ripe and rippingly roiling in the
foremost, most vortically atrabilious confabulation
that could
163) ever possibly inform with such fissiparous fatuity the
open visibility of all our operant idiocy; our
foiling foibles; our fine fetes of fiendish fleering and
frigid fribbling in pachydermatous polarization.



(What
164) well-tailored warpage for precursory dotage; a
stricture of superfluously comprehensive incubation for
anachronistic senility by means of modification through
premature geriatric transmogrification!)



As I
165) struggle, stutter, stagger, stumble and tremble, feeling
trammelled and trampled flat, almost to annihilation, and
trapped under a tremendously taxing tortuosity, a
terrifying toll of truly triturating trepidation,
I
166) try very hard not to come completely unglued, or to
fickly flee, flag, flinch, fiddle or fidget fully
fed up at the furious fight, the flukey but fatally feral
fracas, the frightfully ferocious conflagration
that could
167) all too easily come to combust and speedily explode at the
causative but purely unintentional instigation of the
very most onerously obnoxious otiosity of
weaseling wind-baggery and forensic ostentation
ever to
168) pique, poke, prod and plainly pervert the public palaver with
infusions of argy-bargy that wring the recitation of
wanton waggery, wheeling, dealing and polemical woop-de-do in
salty scenes of tensely contentious disputation.



But
169) Hark! and Hope Ahoy! Here comes favorably haphazard
happenstance happily hopping up, hieing out of hiding with
harbingers of help in the emergent incorporation of
haply serendipitous psychological fortification
in this
170) dippy potpourri of promotively pulsant pabulum
painstakingly positing peace and palliation; this
belittleably entertaining antidote (diligently assembled with
hardly a single shred or twist of disinformation);
this
171) catchy contraption of cathartic contrariety; this
pretty pitch for therapeutic rehabilitation; this
wee bagatelle; this wacky literary stunt of
arcane verbosity and syllabic inflation;
this
172) soupy syllabus of superficial sentimentalities; this
fancy fardel of infectious fascination; this
mulligan stew of scholiastic scolding well
seasoned with sublunarily outsized exercitation;
this
173) droll rendition of rolling rodomontade in
risible rhapsodies of rhythm and rhyme; this
daedal discourse with the purgative purport of
passably perspicuous exfoliation
of the
174) congesting congeries of colloquial convolutions that
perdurably closet, conceal, cover, cloak and camouflage the
whole darned cockamamy cozenage of condescension,
clever cockalorum and incorrigible obfuscation;
this
175) self-aggrandizement by arduous arrogance
allowably littered with lots of light-hearted levity; this
architectonic foisting of newfangled farragoes; this
caliginous quodlibet yet void of fabrication
(well
176) nearly); a malapertly protracted pullulation, a
nonpareil, of playfully preceptive sloganization all
pertly pumped up plump; this serried posy of puffery; this
marginal, deciduously neologistic dissertation
which
177) tips and teeters too tiringly toward turning into a
terribly tautologous teratological tome; an
untenable travail of terrene trivialities; a
turbulently troublesome transvaluation;
a
178) truculent treatise of toplofty trifles; an
ursine tractate of treacly tripe and taradiddles
torridly teeming with all the rancidly squishy fruitage of
renitent rancor ridden with tumid fermentation,
and
179) plushly padded with a punishing plethora of
uncompromising pedanticisms comprising
pedestrian ponderosities of pigheaded preachment and
priggishly puritanical proselytization;
of
180) claptrap seething with a sopping permeation of
paralogismic horsefeathers and plutonian punditry; a
panoramic palette of lyrically libelous, though
no less lambently luculent, lucubration
all
181) over-conscientiously preened and primped; all
frugally tamped and tightly packed pat with
pithy patches of illogically profane yet
implacably predicatory prognostication;
all
182) predictably paced with well-placed periods of
progressively pure Pecksniffian pandering, and
pervasively paved with Panglossian poppycock to
posture a patina of placid pacification
while
183) vilipending, reprehending, nit-picking and pindlingly
paltering with a big billowing bag of disingenuous ploys; with an
emollient pastiche, a tart but tasty patois
pregnant with inexpiably mendacious elaboration
in an
184) unproven, supposititiously panacean praxis of
shameless shuffling and a sort of shallow shilly-shallying in a
runaround of unrealizable reconciliation by
ad hoc scrimmages of syncretistic mediation;
a
185) sumptuous platter of peccantly prickly pitter-patter and
priapic prancing in slaphappy pleonasm,
oozing with tropes of sly syllogistic sleight made
comfortable by a penchant for prestidigitation
through
186) skunking skulduggeries of subterranean subterfuge; through
slippery subversion and sequels of sabotage by
solidly subcelestial dissembling via multi-shaded
lies of immensely specious oversimplification
and by
187) putting to good use a lenitively euphuistic
rhetoric of awkwardly allusive etiolation, in
fine, by the unflappable unfolding, forming and flying of
fibs fixed in feckless fawning and foolish assentation
for the
188) laboriously loquacious, sloppy and slobbishly slipshod,
largely lame and long-winded lubrication of
transparently snide slurs and smears well tucked into
clumsy obscurities of sententious insinuation;
with a
189) tersely versicular verdure of veritable verbicide; a
palmary particularity of venturesome ventilation; an
untoward awakening of dogged virtuosity in the
ambits of loathesomely labyrinthian vermiculation
that
190) vie to varnish volcanic surges of vehemence in
cheap shots of punitive editorial commination with a
papilionaceous, adroitly dapper dance of dodgery by the
accoutrements of deftly duplicitous orchestration
and to
191) veil, right up to the very verge of dripping schwarmerei, under a
veristic veneer of verisimilitudinous replication and a
crafty construct of recondite codification with
all kinds of caricature and spurious characterization,
all the
192) imports of vaingloriously vagarious verjuice focusing the
parameters of pent up vim, vigor and vivification that
enkindle the bonfire and stoke up the edacious flames, those
inventions of voguishly vitriolic vituperation
which
193) vamp up such heart-hardening, fearsomely freakish phobias,
bearish bugaboos and egregious ebullitions of
whizbang razzmatazz, goody-goody gobbledygook, and
gale-force gusts of bullying fustigation;
such
194) unreasoningly raging, widely concerted campaigns of
virilely vulpine, vigilantly vile, vulturous,
irrefragably and contageously venomous vexation; a
vertiginous vendetta of general character assassination
while
195) halfheartedly hiding behind a hiply handy to-do of
recreant hemming and hawing, hyaloid ho-humming and
honeying with a mellifluously effluent, perfective nisus of
enchantingly Pickwickian misrepresentation
such a
196) tetchily tenacious, intractably inflexible,
overtly viperous and veridically virulent variety of
villainous valiance in a vale of inveterately visceral
vengeance and viciously vindictive vilification.



But
197) No. With agonal attempts to allay any
manneristic airs of agonistic atticism while
also ardently bypassing and avoiding any
rococo ornamentation of oracular calumniation,
and
198) avidly averting any pejorative appellation, or the
acrid flow, the flood, the tempestuous tide, the
full fluviatile amplitude of guilt, self-disgust even
including bodily mortifying self-flagellation
which would
199) ineludibly inhere to anxieties of inadequacy in
unceasing circumspection and self-exploration, (for
socialization, that would be a slouchy succedaneum
hardly marked by any kind of modesty in the minimization
of
200) impercipiently flibbertigibbety, hammily niminy-piminy,
disproportionately, purblindly proud and prismatic,
orgulously orotund, inordinately overblown, even
farcically vain and vacuously courtly coruscation),
while neither
201) pusillanimously pussyfooting squarely into loblollies of
scholarly squiggling and agnostic subjectivization nor
pratfalling into potholes or paratactical mudpuddles of
unsalvagability in encumbering equivocation,
nor
202) plowing into philological pits of piddling piffle all
antsy and atwitter with misdirectional fecundation, nor
pitching head first, by demotic imprecision, into
parlous pools of polysemous tergiversation,
nor
203) undeterrably railing in a rambunctiously unruly romp, an
unsparing, rip-roaringly rollicking rampage toward a
froward free-for-all of free-form fisticuffs, or
any other dishonorably splanchnic altercation
to be
204) found boiling over in a mercurial hyperkinesis of
erethic, apparently nanocerebrally eristic, (at least
unconvincing), hypertensively vein-popping binges and
screaming tirades of exophthalmic fulmination,
I
205) much more sanely seek at least the superficies of
safety in the signally sapid validation of a
little exclusionary self-enhancement, even to the point of
shunning, unto summary disassociation,
such a
206) sovereignly soft-headed, solemnly sophomoric and,
sad to say, sensationally stupid perseveration in
longsome, sappily snooty snits and snivelling stints of
viewily primitive behavioral extemporization
by
207) redacting this relatively rebarbative rarefication; this
compendium that could use maybe a little truncation; this
unhurried, wryly euphonious, overly nourished rendition of
stabbingly sardonic sass and incondite inculcation;
this
208) magniloquently modeled but mannerly mantic jeremiad; this
suit of precipitously incremental incrimination; this
opulent, if oppresively officious, piebald epopee; this
awfully orphic ode of expository dilation
upon the
209) mealy microsphere of so-called "serious" modern music and its
flaccid mettle in the fetters of its festering fettle in
mingy, saprogenically self-ensorcelled partisanship and
nice-nelly soul-slaughtering internecine politicization
(and its
210) rightly derisive popular prejudicial assignation to
ivory-tower territoriality: the ritual sacralization of
hoary hocus-pocus nose-up academic elitism and
ungraciously inegalitarian strutting and stratification)
as it
211) volubly abets and beatifies its own brand of bottomless bunk, a
cultish, ramshackle racket of gratuitous dissonance in a
shoddy, ear-slamming sham of clashing slatternly slathers,
enshrining flagitious noise in scandalous legitimization
as it
212) collusively countenances the disreputable business of a
sickly salable, insolubly faddish fixation on
pointless atrocities of analytical pettifoggery in
heartlessly vivisectional anatomization.



So if I
213) cavil and prate in a positively painful plaint or in
rapturous profusion of inappropriate delation, or with
injudiciously loose and jovial gesticulation I
jabber, jaw, gibber and rag in prosaic prolongation,
or if I
214) grouchily gabble, grumble, gripe, and just plain grumpily
grouse, grandstanding in a garbled prodigality of
turgid gasconade and sportive prolixity in
splurges of patently pyrotechnical peroration,
or if I
215) rattle and prattle, still seeming to push the battle
beyond the pale in a breathlessly seamless parlance of
acutely creepy, cryingly curt, discourteously
churlish, catty and cruelly cudgeling castigation,
or if I
216) stoop to putter, drably dabbling in doggerel and
dribbling dim-witted drivel duly suggestive of
sybaritic stupor, implausible preoccupation and a
bent for paramnesiac somnambulation,
or if,
217) overly gregarious and gagably garrulous, I
pop off over the top, flipflop and flintily flout by
flaunting flotsam in unsteady streaks and stammering
swaggers of cavalierly catachrestical intoxication
making a
218) grammatical swampland, a mirthfully murky mire (of
apocryphal ambages, an uncountable compilation not the
least bit parsimonious in predatory pranks and
roguish antics of fanatical argumentation)
thus
219) deflecting this already digressive divertimento, this
garden of gongoristic esoterica (by ordination), of
impracticalities of sesquipedalian jugglery, of
gingerly jest and folly-filled jollification,
from
220) light-minded, weirdly wrought waxings of jocular jape to a
jumble of jabbering jive in gibing tribulation through a
cracked and crooked crucible of pneumatological quackery; a
noxious nimiety of scarily scarifying execration;
or if,
221) apparently non compos mentis, I seem to go a bit berserk
shying backhanded brickbats of scathing adjudication by
bitterly berating, betimes with a bit of bruising burlesque, our
baleful bane of broad-minded barbarization,
and if
222) lacking longanimity, I belabor loud loutish language and
sluggardly slobberings of logorrheic lobotomization with
misological bearings born of ideological bricolage, while
panning such sorry scenes of phraseological permutation
as
223) quibbling in brumal blizzards of bloated blither and blabber; a
bollix of squabbles blowing with biting brio in a botheration of
bluntly blurted blats and bleats of bilious blue burble and
beligerant blarney brimming with the unblenching exaltation
of a
224) befittingly unbottled caboodle of Byzantine baloney in
boringly barren babble; the tarnishing tyrannization of
bumptious bobberies, barefaced bonhomous bosh and
unblushing bluffs of Bunyanesque prevarication,
or if like a
225) batrachian Beelzebub, I bellow and blast point blank at the
blistering blitz of blatant bilge, in vibrant verbalization; or if
bristling and bridling, I bray and bark at the burly brabble in
lancinating barbs banking on bathetic exploitation
while
226) broadly and blaringly bemoaning all the badly bodacious
bodement of our booze-besoden bedazzled bamboozlement, in
unmeasured, morose and mawkishly maudlin moans and groans, and
elegiac threnodies of baroque lamentation,
or if I
227) gnash, bash and rashly lash the running rehash, the
obbligato of boisterously blasphemous incantation, while
lambasting the bludgeoning barrage of blackguardly blatherskite in
school-yard name-calling and coarse conversation,
please
228) see, take note and deem that neither astigmatic want nor
any other low degree of impugnable insufficiency is
left to be shown of correctly condign Comstockery or of
bows to benignantly butyraceous bowdlerization,
but
229) rather that though it be a bit fustily fuliginous,
bulging with blackish broodings and, yes, fairly bursting as a
vade mecum (as it were) of captious contrivance and
dunderheaded doings of daringly devious derivation,
and
230) though it could be seen as a slightly obscure entanglement of
feloniously elliptical, spikey, briery blandishments in a
big bulking bogey; a boneheaded boondoggle of
albeit artfully anfractuous articulation,
yet, for
231) us lumpen pilgrims who go groggily groping like
country bumpkins lost in the Land of the Philistines, this
just might agreeably gruntle any grain of greed while
vanquishing any vestigial need for expiation,
and
232) even go so far as to educe the frangible augury, the
sunny-bright atmosphere of burgeoning edulcoration; an
auspicious aspect for the prospective amplification of its
anesthetization against, or at least its attenuation
of, the
233) ever ongoing pageant of sacerdotal protreptics in
aphotic helotry to nomothetic haruspicy and those
polymorphously hopping hobgoblins of prescriptive nagging and
practices of gorgonizing classroom regimentation
from those
234) grifters, those Hunnish gerents that always had to be answered with
looks of forlorn servitude in responsive sequacity (and
resultant ruffles of real resentment riding on ripples of
breezily insolent, scoffing subvocalization)
all of which
235) yet paint a funereal pall on horizons where
still haunt the undead antediluvian incubi of
despicably proscriptive tyrants and despots and the
indefeasibly repressive, deathly domination
of
236) routinely psychopathic martinets; autistically
avaricious avatars of their own repugnant delusion;
poorly self-made green-eyed guardians of graft;
priestly purveyors of ersatz education
who,
237) knavishly insulted by precocious young talent, or
any mysteriously nimble gift of inchoate genius, will, with
disclamation, paranoically proffer, in lieu of their
dutifully solicitous care and cultivation,
only an
238) armamentarium of Machiavellian supression; in
place of praise and endearing commendation, their
furtive abuse by procrustean bureaucracy,
snobby snubbery and sneering stultification
all
239) coyly executed under a gamily guiltless guise of
Brahmanic poise and sniffy sanctimonious unction; the
smiling, smarmy visage of demonically cold-blooded
burking and agile authoritarian strangulation;
their
240) very own cankerous contribution to the horrible heft of
history's stomping hobnail jackboots, the injustice of
ad hominem assault in the war of attrition waged in
deep dank dungeons of dispiteous deprecation.



And
241) as for the louche, libertine lunacy of those loopy loons, those
unenlightened luminaries of plebeian schlock and maculation, those
licentious gurus leering through a criminous crock: the
superbly fetching but infernally phony sustentation
of
242) physiological contortion and humoral destabilization by the
stylizing of such graphically associative gyration in a
pulverizing, plaster-cracking, ear-splitting ambiance of
marketably subcortical, animalistic titillation,
along with their
243) millions of mindlessly miscarried minions whose
money; whose diseased economic preponderation in
eupeptically reeling religiopanegyrics, whose
erosively grungy, encomiastic emulation
only
244) serves to further feed our lazily lurdane and
preciously latitudinarian disorganization; the
consumable fundament of unfiltered fulsome filth: our
insatiable apetence for succulent vulgarization;
while this
245) optative opus opines obviously not, nor
uptightly oppugns with deontological thunderation, it neither
niggles with natty nips or aphoristic non sequiturs, nor
gamely gimps with platitudinal ossification,
nor
246) traduces with any sort of impish impartation of
unkind or inclemently impudent imprecation, nor
inveigles, feints or finagles with fallacious didactics or
any chic shibboleths of subreptitious allegation,
nor without
247) absence of malice is it glibly adversarial with
platonic obliquities of extortive evasion, nor does it
glumly inveigh with distressingly dry, dull
discrepantly discursive disgraces of deviation,
nor would it
248) ever be intended to outrage by the ordure of
odious obloquy in stiff and stubbornly scrappy
impulsions of defiance against any supposedly
imposing standard of self-regulation,
nor is it
249) willed to be an unwieldy, wild and wooly wail whose
warp and woof is to widely wiggle and waffle, nor is it a
rickety gammon, an indefensibe diatribe, or an
ignorant, extraordinarily illiberal incarnation
of
250) rapacious advocacy by the dialectic distortion of
occult logomachies, or donnish dogmatization in a
doltishly dithyrambic, knockdown dither or any other
old-fashioned obtrusion of Olympian obnubilation,
nor is it a
251) dismally undiplomatic, hurtfully impolitic,
insensitively incendiary bomb made all the more
intensely incensing, or at least ontically operose, by its
assertively assumptive avouchment of the adaptation
of that
252) adolescently antipodean and freely factitious catholicity which
makes plenty of room for oleaginous oscillation and
affords more than a few unforgettable frets and flowery flourishes of
paradigmatic reversal and confounding confutation,
but is rather just a
253) wee pedagogically eccentric peccadillo with
lapses of slightly less than lapidarian exactitude in a
hypertrophic assemblage of philoprogenitive periphrasis; a
cosmetically quirky, epigrammatic conglomeration
though in
254) departure from oneirically noumenal divarication and
perhaps not too well advisedly spiced up here and there with a
few hardly noticeable, insignificantly extraneous excesses:
mere mites of ignescent ire and wild exaggeration
which
255) just might possibly, accidentally, sometimes even seem to
evince a piecemeal pattern of nugatory nuance, the
meerest, most fleetingly diaphanous, shade or shadow of
picaresque rebellion and pique in the intimation
of
256) even the very teensiest little tiny vaporously
misanthropic spec, scintilla, or muffled mini-mote, or
halting half-hint of tabasco, surly ill will, or
overweening, oafishly obstreperous objurgation;
a
257) spankingly sparky, briskly spluttering spiel spryly spun as a
first rate, spiffy specimen of premonitory specification; even a
precautionary conjuration assiduously obtunded and buffered with an
obligatory budget of meticulously minced moralization;
a
258) multifaceted yet miniscule opusculum made incisively
mordant though furbished and fused, fulgently fraught and fuddled
(frankly for fun) with a few forgivably frisky, effetely frolicsome frills:
favorably fungible feats of fervently facetious alliteration;
in a
259) mostly meekly mannered, if muzzled, mustering of murmurous mutterings;
maybe merely a middling, mildly mythical manufacture, while yet a
mountainous melange of manifoldly mansuetudinous mien:
of plain exoterica, a mean monumentalization,
yet, for the
260) Great Unwashed, nevertheless an enigmatic entreaty
propounded for the cognoscenti in florid arabesques of wheedling
placation and tactical understatement to sugar the transportation of
such a categorically apodictic adjuration
that we
261) rally ourselves to raise a really unforgettable ruckus,
rousting a razzle-dazzle ravishing reformation until,
inevitably, we rouse a royally ringing reification; the
turbulent tintinnabulation of a stupendous remonstration,
by
262) pouncing and trouncing with an all-out allocation of
inexhaustibly vivacious nerve and evangelical verve; by
boldly rebuffing, by dashing and expansively thrashing with
all available audacities of affective animation,
all the
263) mantras of mystical mush and mephitic malarkey in the
installation and insincerely vaunted veneration of the
pharisaically pea-brained, malignantly broken down,
elementally murderous maladministration
of our
264) nightmarish mishmash of mortally mesmeric muses like the
gaseous mentorings of mental mummery and mumbo jumbo, the
hotheaded hammerings of hollow hypnoid hooey and those
long-faced hucksterings of somnifacient cerebration,
all by the
265) formal canonization of a cosmic quantitation (thus
forging a necessarily epiphanic idealization) of the
incumbency of our mission, our operational organization to
reorder the activation of our messianic obligation
to
266) individually effloresce with artesian effervescence in a
sparkling impersonation of that parturient percolation which
forever effects an unvarying affluence of emanation in the
exercise of every exorcistic manifestation
of our
267) transcendental thinking: our always ascensive awareness in the
ecliptic illumination of crepuscular contemplation; in the
peace of prayerful self-subdual in vespertine ponderings; in
all our fanciful flights of pleasurably astral meditation;
our
268) every communicable, appropriately transmissible reverie
resulting from luxuriation in refringent rumination on
all the numerous, newly numinous gifts of magnification from
overflowing fountains of spontaneous inspiration,
for
269) whenever we find ourselves bogged and boggled, slogging hobbled from
outright brouhahas of busily boorish bungling, and
half-mummified under tons of such terrestrial offal as
deadening old propaedeutics of Delphic antiquation,
then
270) nothing actually any less effectually iconoclastic or of
any less frigorifically cataclysmic implication than a
panplanetary quake; a dire seismic shattering; an
inarguably earnest orgy of eruptive extirpation
of the
271) inextricable taproots of the metaphysical Gordian knot; the
gravely grinding, ghastly grubby, ungirdedly galloping gumbo; the
disagreeably gross, grandly gargantuan gallimaufry; the
whole gruesomely gust-gutting gyve of irritation;
all
272) aspects of the galling gutter school of allowable diableries like
epigonous hacking in art-miserly, hierodulic simulation of a
much less worldly, (ergo much less lucrative,) but by
far, a much more respectable manner of musical creation
can
273) ever hope to adequately echo, with effortless concinnity in
peals upon trolling peals of plangent effusion, in
outpouring paeans of resemblant reciprocation to
effulgently sympathetic rounds of reverberation,
the
274) unassailable ascendency of our imposing harmonization and the
skyward, broadly synesthetic sunlit sweep of this, our
overarching broadcast; our matutinal declaration; our
seminal compact; our adamantine affirmation
of the
275) commandingly plenary promise of an incomprehensibly
magnificent endowment of omnificent empowerment to be
found, once and for all, finally fueling the thrust of this, our
colorific anointing; our heuristic graduation
into the
276) sparkling crystal skies; the bright cerulean upper air of
gorgeously pristine, celestial ethereality; into the
freshly fertile magic of millennial manumission; our
newness in blessed birth by benificent emancipation,
thereby
277) enabling the refreshment, renewal and revisitation; even the
very most engagingly sonorous redintegration of our
ever annoyance-responsive, long-lurking, peeve-goaded,
twisted intransigency of a defining desideration
for
278) great gushes of gaiety and heart-tickling giggling glee in
gladsome revenge by the otherwise goodly perpetration of
coltish recalcitrance and grinning gladiatorial defiance in a
smartly smirking gusto of featly insubordination
to all those
279) growling, glowering, glaringly gormless ninnyhammers; those
two-bit nitwits; pickle-sucking gutless wonders; those
slavering, slithering, slick snickering snollygosters who, by
eclectically preferential perfidies of machination,
(at least
280) according to the firsthand accounting from internalization,
even unto the periodically exanthematic reanimation, of
capacious grieving right to the brink of lacrimation in the
pains of my own personal primary observation,)
would
281) seek to seduce their trophy trails of toadying sycophants to
crescively ecstatic thralls begetting truckling subjugation, and to
doughtily cosset and humbug every single last one of them into
omnifarious methodologies of deliberate depredation;
those
282) cantankerous old clods, cranks and costively crabby crackpots; that
impassable passel of pampered professorial pygmies; those
noisomely nattering nerds and nebbishes expressively moribund from what
must be an epidemic of terminal passion-constipation;
that
283) reigning panoply of persistently pertinacious potentates; those
lilliputian popinjays; those tatterdemalion panjandra; those
quidnuncs illicitly self-enthroned by fratricidal slander and
other serpiginous treacheries of censorious defamation,
the
284) aphasically flaky flap and nomological flubdub of whose
despicably invidious wiles would steadfastly beset, bedaub and
combatively bedevil our every endeavor with an astonishing magnitude of
inextinguishable blur and immaterial complication;
those
285) miscreant nabobs; those magisterial mavens of naught whose
aimless aeonian anamneses in mind-muddling maunderings and screeds can
still give us a good case of the chilling willies while daftly defying the
much needed benefits of quantitative elucidation;
whose
286) appallingly paroxysmal stem-winders of studied swooning, whose
steamy recitals of gasping and hyperpneic panting, all
reprehensibly repleat with unrepeatable impracticalities of
pathological pap and pointedly pompous pontification
(like
287) fat-headed fare-thee-wells of flamingly flamboyant flippancy;
full flushes of snuffy fewtrils and fey flummoxing flummeries of
hardly decipherable semantic torque: a virtual abattoir of
syntactical declination, inspissation and insolubilization),
will
288) forever emit a nauseating but fashionably fetid effluvium of
defiling sullage; a churning load of psychotropic rot; a
legacy of lack and lackadaisical emasculation; an
inescapable irrevocability in phrenic evisceration.



May a
289) whole-hearted hoopla of wild whoops, hoots and hollers; a
whoosh of huzzahs, heady hallelujahs and high-pitched hails be the
choral manifesto of erumpent exhilaration in
brightly heraldic light of the incipient consummation
of a
290) brand newly annunciatory day of dispensation; an
epoch of unification in dedication to concentration on
lofty flotation in untethered elevation on the
thermal winds of this, our covenantal determination
upon
291) expurgatory cooperation in the extrication and elimination of
any enclutteration from the subcutaneous accumulation of
exanimate emotional muck in a deep sedimentation of
troglodytic crud and carbuncular incrustation
which,
292) left unexposed, can ably cramp, crimp, cripple and crush our
still tender tendrils of early evolving motivation for the
victorious expiration and saving supplantation of
indignities that stanch us down to stygian stagnation,
and may the
293) tromping elixir; the apogean climax; the pinnacle; the
shining capstone; the gleeming crown; the exquisite culmination; the
aureate acme of acmies; even the auricular apex of our
unshakled odyssey of anabatic tranformation,
be an
294) audible morning love song; a sweet symphonious aubade; an
august apotheosis of coactive consecration to a
confluence of invulnerable individuation; a
candent consolidation of consentaneous rejuvenation
in the
295) triumphant apparition of dispositional qualification for the
apotropaic nay-saying, nixing, negation and nullification of
illusory apprehension's draconian throat-clutching clench and of
maleficent minification by dictation of inhibiting intimidation
through
296) inoculative lustration by means of inosculative substantiation in a
high-flying rumpus of admonitory retaliation on a
paradisiacal plane of ecumenical colligation as we
throw a regular heavenly riot of joyful song and celebration.



GLOSSARY

Hurling herculean hype and hyperbole - throwing out wild exaggerations like they were wedding cakes in a food fight
hysterical hails of exhortation - where someone urges you to do something, but with so much emotion that you want to run for cover
hewn in humorless hues of hubris - made to sound like it comes from a fat-headed egomaniac with no sense of humor
honed and toned to the inflammation - polished and spiffed up to keep pace with a growing need
(back to verse 1)
Merriam-Webster Dictionary
hoarsely harping and hardily carping - going on and on about a subject until everyone wants to scream, and you lose your voice either from over-use or from being strangled
howling hullabaloo of harsh allegation - a storm of mean-spirited accusations
high-minded homilies - lofty lectures on morality (typically given by someone with his nose up in the air)
haughty huffs and puffs - the famously sinister tactic used by Mr. Big Bad Wolf to blow down the houses of two of the Three Little Pigs
irascibly hierophantic expostulation - where you use earnest reason and logic to try and change people's minds, but somehow you come across as a hot tempered, self-appointed know-it-all
(back to verse 2)
Merriam-Webster Dictionary
haranguing hog-wild in perfervid philippics - ranting and raving with the emotional energy of someone whose pants are on fire
harebrained ballyhoo of histrionic oration - where your speech is really just a loud, goofy theatrical performance
most outstandingly inadvisable invitation - like opening a can of worms
outing, by inadvertent hypostatization - where you let the truth slip out by accidentally showing us your real agenda (or, where you really are coming from after all)
(back to verse 3)
Merriam-Webster Dictionary
harrowing, unwholesomly hideous hubbub - an uproar so ugly that it pillages and plunders our minds
sermonic temper tantrums - where, just to emphasize your point while giving a talk in church, you throw yourself on the floor kicking, pounding and screaming
tellingly tainted - revealing of something slightly amiss (like when you are out to dinner and your baby-sitter calls to ask where your fire extinguisher is)
bouts of convulsive delirium - uncontrolled fits of frenzied excitement
dyspeptic hidrosis - where you are in such a foul mood that you actually break into a sweat
psychosomatic hyperventilation - where your thoughts get you so upset that you breathe hard enough to pass out
(back to verse 4)
Merriam-Webster Dictionary
impede the fatidic advent - to interfere with the predicted arrival of something (like, for example, hijacking an airplane)
Apollonian apperception - where your whole view of the world is in keeping with your previous experience, which, oddly enough, happens to be filled with order and harmony
securely consequential ramification - a particular thing that always happens as a result of some other particular thing (like the necessity of eventually landing after you jump off a cliff)
expeditiously preternatural precipitation - quickly going beyond what is natural in causing something to happen (like when you ask someone to please pass the salt and you pull out a gun just to make sure they do it)
(back to verse 5)
Merriam-Webster Dictionary
epiphenomenal societal ascesis - where society shows self-discipline (I know it's hard to imagine) as a natural part of whatever larger event caused it in the first place (such as being jolted into behaving ourselves under the threat of complete annihilation (although even that doesn't seem to be working too well)
provenance of factional restraint and coaptation - whatever inspires different groups of people who once were enemies to control themselves and work together for their common good
conceptual meal - an idea you can really sink your teeth into and then take a nice nap after you've thought about it long enough
delicious ideal - an ultimate goal that tastes wonderful to your mind
high pie-in-the-sky vaticination - a somewhat unlikely hope, prediction or prophecy (in other words, a long shot)
(back to verse 6)
Merriam-Webster Dictionary
hard-bitten, heroically incontrovertible esperance - where, seasoned and strengthened by difficult experience, your have no doubt your hope will be realized
irreversible immigration - passing the point of no return
intrinsic well-being - where it's your basic nature to feel pretty good
ultimate sanctification - a condition, at the end of the road, of finally being perfect and holy
(back to verse 7)
Merriam-Webster Dictionary
futurological abstraction - things you imagine about the future (anything from what to have for dinner to how soon the sun will explode from old age)
evidentially - serving as evidence
concrete eschatological destination - the very real place we can expect to be as the final events unfold in the history of the world, or of humankind (or to be more politically correct, hupersonkind)
peaceable pandect - a written article promoting peace, covering an entire subject, the whole kit and caboodle, the whole ball of wax, all there is to know (supposedly)
teleology of fate framed in faith-bolstered grit - the study of evidences that there is actual design, as opposed to chaos, in nature (or, if you like, as I do, the discovery of God's hand in creation), in this case colored by the attitude that we must pray as if everything depends on God and then work as if everything depends on us
presentimental anticipation - where you are quite sure that a particular thing will happen
(back to verse 8)
Merriam-Webster Dictionary
fleetly floundering - swift and nimble in the art of loosing your footing
foundering - falling apart
forbiddingly befouling fog of festinate failure - the bewilderment that rises up like a poisonous cloud from the sudden wreckage of your hasty mistakes (like when you discover you've brushed your teeth with acrylic paint instead of toothpaste)
foolhardily forfending any informal figment of forum - rashly putting off even the passing imagination of any possible way to discuss an idea (how a 16-year-old would describe his parents' unreasonable reaction to his request to borrow the family car for a little road trip with his friends, from California to New York and back)
forthrightly fructifying fomentation - where you get something going for quick results
(back to verse 9)
Merriam-Webster Dictionary
even the fictively fainthearted feigning of chary eschewal toward the unnaturalization - where you pretend, but not very well, to make a point of refusing to be caught dead in, with, or doing, a particular thing (the attitude of most people toward sky-diving without a parachute, or going to a "come-as-you-are" party straight from the shower) to the point that it will be generally seen as downright unnatural (the thing, not you)
sightly semblance - where a thing looks like something else, only better
sedulous limitation - where, with persistent effort, you keep a lid on something
razing and final eradication - demolishing something and then pulling it up by the roots once and for all (what some bosses, false educators and conniving colleagues have a way of doing to your self-image and confidence)
(back to verse 10)
Merriam-Webster Dictionary
ignoble offices of institutional vice - those practices in public entertainment and government which make moral depravity an established part of our culture
spurn sublimation - to reject with contempt any suggestion that you try channeling your socially scandalous impulses into more acceptable forms of expression
spawn facilitation - to make it easier
accursedly mercenary - serving merely for pay or sordid self-advantage (as opposed to the rest of us who work purely for the joy of it) (huh?)
nefarious - not fit for polite company
(back to verse 11)
Merriam-Webster Dictionary
protective aegis of low-life legalisms - where sleezy judges, lawyers and other criminals find loopholes in the law to keep themselves, and others, out of jail
addlepated ethos of unlimned liberation - a thoroughly confused and twisted idea of reality which justifies your doing anything you want
competent configuration - a suitable arrangement (of the facts, in your mind)
brace, boost and buttress - to support, strengthen and hold you up
buzzardliness - thriving on the misfortunes of others, or being similar to a buzzard (in character and behavior, though not necessarily in looks)
blindly besotted infatuation - where you are in awe of something to the point that you've lost your mind and your ability to see clearly
(back to verse 12)
Merriam-Webster Dictionary
choler - the ready disposition to be irritated (itching for a bruising)
spleen - feelings of anger or ill will often suppressed (which come before a murderous rampage or other social faux pas)
fabulistic - made up by someone you could charitably say is not telling the truth
larcenous litigation - law suits that amount to thievery
dillies of diddling fiddle-faddle - real humdingers of time-wasting nonsense
philosophical flapdoodle - utter nonsense supposedly based on logic, aesthetics, ethics, metaphysics, and epistemology (in other words, eloquent defense of the indefensible)
follies of ideation - dumb ideas
(back to verse 13)
Merriam-Webster Dictionary
damnatory, diabolically dismissive despoliation - where you cause big problems, but refuse to see what you are doing
guileless glad-handing and free fraternization - shaking hands and being friendly to all, where you actually mean it and have no ulterior motive
depreciatory opiate of riskless asepsis - where playing it safe emotionally makes you feel pretty good for now, but you end up hating yourself later
indurate idlesse - where you've been hardened into state of habitual idleness
collusive invocation - the bringing about of some illegal or deceitful purpose by secret agreement or cooperation (like what happens in drug and prostitution rings, the Mafia, Congress, the judicial system, etc.)
(back to verse 14)
Merriam-Webster Dictionary
indisposing ails of ennui - what you have when you are so bored it makes you sick
undiscountable ills of neoteric acedia - when there is no denying that you are bored silly in ways that people never could be in the old days because they never had time
lamentable agglomeration - a pretty pathetic pile of stuff
ectopically pernicious spread and proliferation - unusually destructive growth or increase in number
selfward doubt and down-putting denigration - an acute lack of self-confidence (what a sky-diver goes through when he jumps and suddenly realizes he forgot his parachute)
(back to verse 15)
Merriam-Webster Dictionary
amorphously afflictive malaise of abulia - where you can't tell what's wrong, except that so much of your "get up and go" has gotten up and gone that you can't make up your mind about anything
accordant quandary of anomic diffidence - where we are all confused together, stumbling around aimlessly without any purpose (like a ballet company before they know the choroegraphy)
chafing and abrading - a process by which the little things wear you down and eventually tear holes in you (like having sand in your socks)
afflatus - inspiration
stolid estrangement - where you have seperated yourself from something, and couldn't care less
absorptive alienation - where feelings of separation take over your mind and suck the life out of you
(back to verse 16)
Merriam-Webster Dictionary
elicits an array of antinomian gymnastics - calls forth all kinds of twisted arguments against what is right
unfunny facade of gumption - where you pretend you have the nerve to do something, but you don't, and the pretense is nothing to laugh about
facile furies - rages you get into much too easily
fussy fusillades - outbursts of criticism that at least show great concern for the nicities (remember: when you're crushing someone, you can still do it politely)
imputation - accusation
(back to verse 17)
Merriam-Webster Dictionary
figuratively flitting, fluttering and fumbling - as if moving abruptly from one thing to another, agitated, aimless and awkward (the way many ballet dancers would describe their performance on stage, no matter how well they did)
flailing kerfuffle - a disturbance characterized by one's limbs swinging out of control (not unlike some orchestra conductors)
funambulistic flouncing - trying to find your footing as if you are walking a tightrope during an earthquake
frantically futilitarian fits and flusters - where, in the frustrating belief that there is no point in even trying, you work yourself into various states of agitated confusion
rending rectitudinal flexure and fluctuation - where you follow only the rules that suit your purposes, but it tears you up inside
(back to verse 18)
Merriam-Webster Dictionary
propense to deign - being inclined to lower yourself (to offer something)
casting of aspersions - to say bad things about someone
glances askance - quick looks of disapproval
discoloration - the negative light you shed on something just to make it look worse than it is
idiolectally idiotic - showing a thoughtless lack of common sense in the way you talk by using certain inapropriate speech patterns (such as using Ebonics or street slang when having audience with the Pope or the Queen)
snippy snipes - short-tempered and rude people trying to act like big shots
sling stigmatization - to throw out comments that put something or someone under shame or discredit
(back to verse 19)
Merriam-Webster Dictionary
anomolies of jejune impropriety - something strange which can only be described as childishly improper
idiomatics of opprobrious ethical variation - really disgusting immoral behaviors that could only belong to one particular group or person because no one else would do them
electrifying afronteries - offenses or insults that suddenly excite you as if you had just stuck your finger into a light bulb socket
moral turpitude - being subject, rather than to higher qualities of mind and spirit, to corrupt and disgusting things (in other words, being morally terp)
vanguard of actionable legal aberration - the very newest, most up-to-date methods of breaking the law and gaining new friendships with lawyers, judges and prison guards
(back to verse 20)
Merriam-Webster Dictionary
ochlocracy - mob rule (another word for democracy)
halcyon heyday of habituation to heinous heedlessness and wholly heathen decadence - that happy golden time in our lives when we completely ignore things we don't like, such as human decency; when we are still able to outrun our consciences in the "blissful" enjoyment of depraved self-indulgence
convivially cozy, self-coddling collaboration - where, with a fondness for the comforts of life, which we can't fully enjoy while we're being inconvenienced by having to fight for a good cause, we solve the problem by cooperating with the enemy
(back to verse 21)
Merriam-Webster Dictionary
headless hedonism - the doctrine that personal pleasure, without thought, is the highest good in life
acquiescence - when we allow something to happen by doing nothing to stop it
exoneration - what you get when they finally figure out that you didn't do it after all
homologation - official confirmation of whatever they decide needs to be true at the moment
widely disparate modes of accreditation - a complete lack of unity in the standards by which to make judgments
distemperate depravation - where you do things that are disgusting, depraved, morally corrupt and fattening, but you aren't having any fun because or your bad mood
(back to verse 22)
Merriam-Webster Dictionary
brassy bravado - when you do something stupid just to show how brave you are (like trying to juggle three cats, or disagreeing with your mother-in-law)
unbuttoned braggadocio - what a loud-mouth engages in just before pride makes his head explode
daunting dint of Dionysian debauchery - the power to be found in an orgiastic frenzy of sensual indulgence (enough immorality to make your legs wobble)
attitudinized affinities of hasty approbation, if not unapologetically apoplectic promulgation - where, like crazed sheep, everybody quickly decides it's fashionable to approve of, if not give themselves a stroke from wildly cheering, one thing or another
(back to verse 23)
Merriam-Webster Dictionary
hordes - huge crowds
swamps of sewerly swill - messy situations filled with things that suggest the slop or garbage that you would find in a sewer (like office politics, for example)
ditsy delectation - goofy enjoyment
routing - beating somebody quite thoroughly in a contest
disastrously dizzying devaluation, through higgledy-piggledy daily deformation, of civilization - a gravely bewildering decline in life as we know it, where everything seems to keep changing for the worse
(back to verse 24)
Merriam-Webster Dictionary
haplessly hamstrung - having the bad luck to be rendered powerless (how you feel every time the boss says, in effect, "All who agree with me, say 'yes,' and all who disagree with me say, 'I resign.'")
haggard - looking like a wreck
harried - beset by problems
hampered - feeling restricted from doing what you want (how some people feel when forced to behave themselves)
harassed, hassled and hectored - how you feel when someone is driving you crazy
phylogenetic phase - a normal stage in the development of something (like society, for example, when people at work start bringing guns)
impending incapacitation - when you are about to be disabled (like when you stand up on a roller-coaster)
(back to verse 25)
Merriam-Webster Dictionary
carelessly cruise and carouse - where you go on the lookout for degrading ways to have fun, with complete disregard for life and limb
careening - lurching and swaying from side to side as you go
functional cessation - where you have finally become good for nothing
unkenningly, we court a collective calamity - where, without knowing it, we act as if we actually want to bring disaster upon ourselves (what voters often do on election day)
rue - regret and sorrow (what voters are often made to feel soon after election day)
rack - a cause of anguish or pain (what elected officials often give to voters, hoping it's long enough before the next election that the voters will forget)
relegation - being assigned to a place of insignificance or oblivion (how parents suddenly feel when their children become teenagers)
(back to verse 26)
Merriam-Webster Dictionary
proverbial landfill; the dustheap of history - that imaginary garbage dump filled with once-important things and events of the past
turbid imbroglio of reckless flirtation with uncurbed carnal caprice - very messy complications involving your decision to experiment freely with the unpredictable temptations of crude bodily pleasures and appetites
dark indication of our growing gravitation to the threshold of obliteration - a not very rosy sign that we are being increasingly attracted to the very edge of utter destruction
(back to verse 27)
Merriam-Webster Dictionary
omnidirectional centrifugation - being thrust away from the center and spreading out in all directions (as if you are on a merry-go-round going much too fast)
apathetic nescience - when you don't mind being unaware of something
dumps of decimation - where you feel like you've lost everything
(back to verse 28)
Merriam-Webster Dictionary
down-home drubbing of unprecedented despair - a simple, straightforward beating over the head with more hopelessness than you've ever known
subliminal Hades of drudging dilapidation - where you don't realize it, but you are in a private hell of monotonous decay and increasing ruin
potentially depilatory dystopian desert of dilemmatically dysphoric deformity and derogation - a desolate and forbidding place that fills you with such fear that you quickly go bald; a place in the mind where you keep hearing the question, "How did I get into this mess?" and where you feel especially sick about being morally defective, aesthetically flawed and just generally inadequate (the way performers often feel when they perform)
(back to verse 29)
Merriam-Webster Dictionary
drought of drear and incurable disrelation - a prolonged shortage of good things, plus a hopeless lack of friends (sort of like being stranded alone on the moon)
undoing of dulling dolor and disrelishable desiccation - like the unhappy combination of clinical depression and a bad hangover
nidus - a place where something originates, develops, or is located
presage - something that indicates a future situation (like for instance if you start letting your dog drive the car, sure your future won't look so bad when the police officer pulls you over, because at least you have the dog on a leash)
distinctly irremeable, contortive exacerbation - where you only make things worse by twisting them so far out of shape that you'll never get them straight again
(back to verse 30)
Merriam-Webster Dictionary
namby-pamby epicyclical episode - a smaller process going on within a larger one (such as getting your necktie caught in the paper shredder when you are preparing for a visit from the grand jury)
lean little kink of ephemeral irk and irritation - a small incident that causes an insignificant, merely passing desire to kill someone
cagey charade based on somewhat psychotic denial - where you resort to playing crafty mind-gagames because, being as nutty as a fruitcake, you cannot admit what is really happening
dopey perplexity - where you are too slow of mind to be anything but totally clueless
inexplicable exasperation - when you are irritated, but you don't know why
(back to verse 31)
Merriam-Webster Dictionary
gaping specter - what feels like the open jaws of some horrible image (like when your boss opens his mouth to say something)
Armageddon - a big fight resembling the final great battle between Good (us) and Evil (them)
real humdinger of apocalyptic bust - a good example of total collapse on a scale that foreshadows final doom (like when the copy machine breaks down)
global Gotterdammerung - where the whole world falls apart in catastrophic violence and disorder (not unlike a day at the office, only bigger)
killing katzenjammer - a state of life-threatening danger or desperate need (what your dog tries to make you think he's feeling while he watches you eat)
unmitigated miff mixed with febrile frustration - an all out, super-deluxe fit of ill humor and feverish dissatisfaction (how you hope your surgeon does not react to the results of his work on your face-lift)
(back to verse 32)
Merriam-Webster Dictionary
self-whittling witless wonder - astonishment at something so awesomely mysterious that it tears away little pieces of what you thought was your mind until you haven't a clue what is happening (how you hope not to respond after first seeing the results of your face-lift, even if your surgeon happens to be screaming and jumping out the window)
hypnopompic speculation - the kind of semi-conscious, aimless thinking you do just before you fully wake up
(back to verse 33)
Merriam-Webster Dictionary
incuriously ape a pyretic pandemonium of little panicking pismires - when, without even wondering why, we act like very angry little ants whipped into a wild and feverish frenzy (what happens on the freeway at rush-hour)
peculiarly imprudent procession - moving forward when it's especially stupid to do so
incommodiously peppy parade - a big showy procession which would be a lot easier for us if everyone wasn't so full of energy and high spirits
acephalous peregrination - where a mob goes on the move, but it has no leader
(back to verse 34)
Merriam-Webster Dictionary
primly pruned primrose path - the road of least resistance, very neatly trimmed of all that is bothersome (such as common sense)
prissy promenade - a well cared for walkway
well-buttered chute in the impendent transpiration of a prelusive epitasis - like a steep, grease-covered slide, which gives a useful image regarding the speedy approach of the part of a play (or of life) where we find the main action leading to a catastrophe, which is only the beginning of something larger (like, for instance, the months leading up to a presidential election)
perky self-desecration - where, with obnoxious self-assurance, you make a mockery of yourself
(back to verse 35)
Merriam-Webster Dictionary
variously variegated vastitude of lechery - a wide variety of lewd, lustful activities
expansive attractions of lascivious incontinence - where, driven by raw lust you can't keep your hands to yourself, and you think the ways to get into trouble are looking better all the time
unhinderedly - without opposition
absurdly siren - enticing, even though it makes no sense
perilous imminence of ignominious immolation - where we are dangerously near the brink of the kind of self-destruction for which we ought to be ashamed of ourselves (wanting to throw ourselves onto the blazing funeral pyre of our earthly desires)
(back to verse 36)
Merriam-Webster Dictionary
uneducably libidinous callosity - where we are hopelessly hardened in our lustful desires, having put our consciences beyond feeling
paucity of any pensive equiponderation - where you hardly ever do the kind of day dreaming or meditating that would help you keep your head on straight
inducer of infuriation - that which makes us furious
molto crescendo of cacophonic cachinnation - a big increase of loud ugly laughing (what you might hear from behind the closed doors of the Public Works Commission as they decide which city streets to dig up next)
(back to verse 37)
Merriam-Webster Dictionary
creepy concoction of crapulous crassitude - a disturbing assemblage of things that are disgustingly gross (like fruitcake, or pornography)
occult cabalas - secret matters, strange doctrines or mysterious arts (like the science of interpreting the U.S. Tax Code)
heaving voluptuosity - thoughts of sensual gratification which, like pulsating throbbings of imagined carnal ecstasy, threaten to make your brain explode
constant provocation - relentless temptation
(back to verse 38)
Merriam-Webster Dictionary
rifle and raven - where you ransack and then greedily feed upon something
smudging sludge and slime - mucky yucky gucky stuff
passively partake of the gaudy agglutination - to take in, simply by being there and doing nothing to stop it, all kinds of tastelessly dazzling, extravagantly stupid offerings (as in watching an evening of network TV)
monstrous cornucopia of cyclopean quantification - an endless abundance of things that are over-blown and extreme, however you mesure them
kaleidoscopic Babel of titanic temptation - a confusing succession of ever-changing scenes that make you want to go out and do naughty things (like many movies, much television, and certain office memos from your boss)
(back to verse 39)
Merriam-Webster Dictionary
pack a pitiful profit from all the prodigality in those overactive engines of profluent profligacy - where you ought to be ashamed of yourself for taking other people's money, even if they do want to waste it in wild immorality and free-flowing self-indulgence
imbrue the knotty nub; the nasty nettlesome nodus - to leave your corrupting mark on the most irritatingly difficult, impossibly complicated part of a problem
glowing inferno of ontological perturbation - the red hot furnace of our overturned cosmic apple cart
(back to verse 40)
Merriam-Webster Dictionary
pandemic bash - a big party occurring everywhere at the same time
plentifully Babylonian bacchanal of protean perversity - a wild orgy of bad behavior
irrepressible promiscuity - where you don't care how, when, where, why, or with whom you misbehave, just as long as you can keep doing it
flighty, but flightlessly farcical festival - a goofy program of laughable stupidity which accomplishes nothing and gets us nowhere
fiendishly enfevered infectious inebriation - where you think you're having fun, but of course you aren't really because you've only worked yourself into a frenzy, and now you're working others into a frenzy as well, so that soon everyone will be in a frenzy
(back to verse 41)
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calculably brummagem chimera - what you can count on to be a brightly attractive but stupid idea
contemptible course of constrictive divination - an awful path of supposed wisdom which, instead of helping, only holds you back (why it's so important not to let formal schooling get in the way of your education)
smugly immured in visionless evaluation - where, in trying to assess the worth of things, you're perfectly happy to be closed up within the walls of your own bad judgment
(back to verse 42)
Merriam-Webster Dictionary
menace of correlation with significant shrinkage by paedomorphic retardation - the danger of finding yourself shrinking smaller (for instance, in your mental capacity) by means of holding on to infantile characteristics (in other words, growing down instead of growing up)
 assailably arenaceous foundation of gnosis, life-sense and even cognitive registration - where the basis for your spiritual understanding of life, and even the way you processes information from your outward senses, is built upon nothing firmer than sand
(back to verse 43)
Merriam-Webster Dictionary
ruddy ruse - a pretty darned clever trick
spin - a clever way of putting either a good or a bad light on things, to suit your purpose
balmy bon mots of embellishment - the foolish but witty things you throw in just to try and make more believeable the things you are saying with your bare face hanging out
selective report - the things you choose to say or to leave out (what both sides of the political agenda-driven national news media engage in, thus depriving us of one of the essentials (honest information) of a free society
relativistic rationalization - when you think that truth depends on whatever is useful in trying to make excuses for yourself
benumbingly effusive dissimulation - when you come on so strongly with your lies that you actually make people numb to the itchiness of the wool you've pulled over their eyes
(back to verse 44)
Merriam-Webster Dictionary
certitude of wrenching remorse - when you can count on being plenty sorry
rascally wreaking of wreckage - when, in your usual mean and rotten way, you cause as much ruin as if you were on a violent rampage
ineluctable reaping of an unhallowed harvest - where, for doing deeds you should be ashamed of, you are certain to have earned a big award which will lead you to do even more things you should be ashamed of (like, for example, winning an Oscar on Academy Awards night)
redolent of karmic wrath, rebuke and damnation - a smelly reminder that what goes around comes around
(back to verse 45)
Merriam-Webster Dictionary
garnered by the gleaning of glop, garbage and guck - collected from memories of all the disgusting experiences in your life
moldering mass of myriad meretricious chaff - a big pile of rot (mental, that is) with all its innumerable aspects of stupidity (which were first presented to us as intelligence)
dregs, dross and detritus - junk
grounding guerdon - a supposed reward that hangs like a millstone around your neck (like fame feels to many who once wanted it and then got it)
expediential miscomputation - where you goof because the needs of the moment cloud your judgment
(back to verse 46)
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smoldering trash - the reason you should pour water on the fire after you burn your garbage
aromatically moldy mash - crushed ingredients mixed in hot water (all metaphorical, of course, yet reminiscent of a stew made from vinegar-marinated pig livers in a base of irradiated camel dung steeped in fermented eggplant juice)
malodorous - stinky
turgid williwaws - uproars of flowery and pompous language
pruritically prurient - where your interest in something is not only immoral, but so strong that it makes you itch
(back to verse 47)
Merriam-Webster Dictionary
nether regions - lower, less evolved areas (of the mind) (entire brains for some people)
psychic tumultuary - a place in the mind ruled by riot, lawless confusion and impetuosity (where lots of people, like violent criminals, government officials and some orchestra conductors do all their thinking)
germinal eidolons of dastardly design - the very beginnings of cowardly intent toward the acting out of underhanded treachery (what most of your bosses at work thought about when they were babies)
criminal acts of glandular gratification - horrible things you do to make your body feel good for a while
(back to verse 48)
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refulgent recrudescence of orchidaceous elan - going back to being the old show-off you used to be)
Eureka! - a term used to express triumph upon a discovery (a little more dignified and suitable for historical accounts than "Holy Cow!" or "Hubba Hubba!")
irradicably robust calibration - a set of standards that meet the test, time after time
swimmily unswaddled - feeling so free that you get dizzy and act giddy
youthfully eudaemonistic self-congratulation - patting yourself on the back, for no special reason except your belief that the highest ethical goal in life is your own happiness and well-being so you might as well encourage yourself
(back to verse 49)
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gratingly giddy - so happy and silly that you start to annoy people
roguishly raffish - showing contempt for what is normal by being vulgar or crude (although these days, that's the definition of normal, so now you have to show your contempt for what is normal by being virtuous and dignified)
rankly randy - when you are with members of the opposite gender, thinking and acting very inappropriately (if you catch my drift) in a manner that is offensively gross (as opposed to behavior that is very inappropriate, yet lovely and praisworthy)
critically callous and callow - where you are so immature and without normal feelings for other people that you're lucky if they haven't already wrung your neck
blastedly bland - where it makes everyone really mad that you never show any feelings
blithely oblivious - not giving a hoot about what is going on
(back to verse 50)
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fiery, feisty phoenix - a big legendary bird which once lived 500 years, burned itself to ashes and rose alive from the ashes to live again; in this case someone compared to a phoenix, who also happens to be very frisky and spunky
lily-liveredly - the way yellow-bellied folks do things
faltered in a Fabian frivolity - where you have really messed up because you were goofing around, which may have looked like, but didn't turn out as well as, the time the Roman general Quintus Fabius Maximus defeated Hannibal in the Second Punic War by not really fighting him head-on
flat-footed flopping - plodding along without imagination and, by the way, getting everything wrong
dullardly dalliance and defalcation - where, you fool around and fail to meet expectations because you are stupid (no offense)
tardy little moiety of compensation - only a tiny part of what it would take to truly make up for what you've done - and being late with it, besides
(back to verse 51)
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commandeering crash of thunderous fulguration - a very loud flash of light that rattles your brains
galvanizing blaze - a dazzling display that excites you like an electric shock
brashly bellicose craze - an aggressive enthusiasm for starting fights, but the feeling doesn't last long (like when you throw the first punch and then quickly change your mind)
intractable transfiguration in protestation - where you make some kind of permanent change in your appearance as a form of protest (like having "Down with everything!" tatooed on your forehead)
(back to verse 52)
Merriam-Webster Dictionary
wanly wangle, wilt, whimper and whine - where you act like a two-year-old who is exhausted but doesn't want to take a nap
wallowing wimpishly woebegone - taking great pleasure in your devotion to being a useless coward
woozy welter of weltschmerz - what you feel when you think of how things could be, compared with how they really are
lethally lubric - when your going overboard in the enjoyment of sensuality and lust has a terminal effect on your health
venal vizards of vacillation - the protective mask of money and worldly pleasures which you find it easier to hide behind than to take a stand on moral principles
(back to verse 53)
Merriam-Webster Dictionary
torpor of dulcet dupery - where you are hypnotized by the bliss of ignorance
sequela of confusion and dislocation - the after-effects of mental disturbance (this explains why some people drive home after a hard day at work like drunken fighter pilots, and why others, having survived another harrowing trip home dodging out of the way of these road warriors, just want to crawl under the kitchen sink and spend a few hours in the fetal position, and why others simply go back to work the next day with a machine gun)
fallow rut - a fixed practice or monotonous routine which is unproductive
rigorously rocky road of regressive resignation - where giving up and going back to square one is a lot harder than you thought it would be
(back to verse 54)
Merriam-Webster Dictionary
reactionary rubbish of eremitic retirement - the dumb but not unusual idea of withdrawing and becoming a hermit just because someone made you mad
bad bill of hokum - the intentional misrepresentation of what is really just a lot of nonsense (what legislators often spend hours and hours debating about as if they're actually serious)
hallucinatory confection - though it's completely delusional, you have to admit it's a fine piece of imaginary craftsmanship (see definition for "bad bill of hokum")
bogus nostrum for sparse restoration - a phony scheme for putting only a few things back the way they were (see definitions for "bad bill of hokum" and "hallucinatory confection")
erethically misoneistic stasis and hibernation - where, being one of those people who can't stand any kind of change, and even hate it when things around them move, (like air, for example), you act like a semi-comatose zombie
(back to verse 55)
Merriam-Webster Dictionary
retrograde rest through nidification - where you build a place of rest and retreat which only makes things worse by tempting you to do nothing but rest and retreat
downy cocoon of neuroleptic capitulation - the soft, soothing, protective shield you think you are hiding behind when you enjoy the powerfully tranquilizing effects of giving up
punctilious plot of claustrophobic reclusion - a secret plan, carefully laid out, for withdrawing so far from other people that you will feel like you've sealed yourself up in a packing crate
stiff-necked, pallidly parochial insulation - how too many people stubbornly isolate themselves into a kind of intellectually weak-kneed narrow-mindedness
(back to verse 56)
Merriam-Webster Dictionary
hegemonic peanut gallery - people on the sidelines who spend their time observing you, making it their business to dominate the way everyone thinks about you
cackling hacks and gasbags - unfriendly critics who think they know everything
persnickety, cretinous criticasters - see definition above, then add stupid, vulgar, insensitive, snobbish and overly fussy about small details
crabbily crowing - gloating, especially after benefiting from someone else's troubles, and being so mean about it that no one dares punch you in the nose
grumpy little gravamens - small-minded complaints
contumelious animadversion - abusive criticism
wicked wisecracks of unwarranted exultation - rotten little things you say when your head gets too big for your hat
(back to verse 57)
Merriam-Webster Dictionary
over-bloated gloats of cryptogenic invective - when you are acting like a pompous windbag, and nobody can figure out where you get the awful things you say
spiteful spittle for the transgressive irrigation - words maliciously spit out of your mouth as if to water the ground for your evil intentions
churlishly canorous canards - the sweet sounding lies of a two-faced good-for-nothing
mordacious epithets - insults that bite
tizzy of taunts in inculpatory excoriation - where you let loose with a storm of sarcasm and put the blame for everything on someone else who now feels so small that they could walk under a closed door wearing a top hat
(back to verse 58)
Merriam-Webster Dictionary
colloguing in any kind of socratic affiliation - meeting with people for discussion, doubting what they say and asking questions to help bring out clear expressions of truth; right after Socrates' own heart (togas not necessary)
nurture the conceptualization - where you feed the formation of an idea
temporal maturation - growing up through the natural passage of time
(back to verse 59)
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candidly query the quotidian quiddity - when you sincerely want to know the real essence of something (not the wildly esoteric, unfathomable, convolutedly philosophical essence, but just the ordinary, everyday, low-fat vanilla essence, thank you)
quantum development - a huge leap forward (so to speak)
discussible reclamation and regeneration - only those aspects of putting things back together again which can be discussed in polite company, or which can be discussed at all without resulting in a big fist fight
quickening quintessence of our shared commiseration - the truely good feelings behind all the outward expressions of sympathy we give each other
communal comity in concordant self-desquamation - the warm fuzzy feelings that come when we decide to quit playing games and reveal who we really are as if by peeling off our old layers of posturing and pretense (not always possible because most people seem to mistake their outward persona, or their physical appearance and the transitory roles they play in life, as their real identity)
(back to verse 60)
Merriam-Webster Dictionary
efficaciously partitive and appendant - when something is a part of, or goes along with, something else, and it's a darned good thing it does
attainment of convincing coherence - when you finally seem to get your story straight
conventionalization of that comely colloquiality - when you eliminate profane and vulgar conversation (thus rendering some people mute)
uncorks the convalescence - allows the gradual recovery to begin (Doctor to patient: "This medicine will uncork your convalescence.")
cogent modes of consultation and deliberation - sensible ways to figure things out within a group (not used by the committee who tried to build the horse and came up with the camel instead)
(back to verse 61)
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truly trenchant excogitation - good thinking
higher wisdom of lowly supplication - the ironically higher judgment of lowering yourself to ask for help (like when the smartest people get on their knees to pray, or when males give up their manhood by stooping to ask for directions when they are lost)
softening succor of supernatural distillation - the relief you feel when a needed idea seems to dawn on you, out of nowhere
aiding the consortium in suprarational consideration - magnifying the general sense of agreement on opinions that seem based, not just on natural reasoning, but on intuition and faith
(back to verse 62)
Merriam-Webster Dictionary
volatile vicissitudes - the wild ups and downs of life
variously vagrant velleities - shallow desires that can be changed by anything from a light breeze to a gun to the head
verily restive repose - where you are trying to rest, but (let's tell the truth here) you're still a fidgety bag of nerves
travesty of self-divesting self-neutralization - the big joke of pretending that you are trying to give up certain things to render yourself powerless (like rogue nations supposedly complying with demands for disarmament)
(back to verse 63)
Merriam-Webster Dictionary
insidiously vitiating zeitgeist - the general mind-set of the times, which which can easily suck you in and turn you into a mere shell of the decent person you once were
insistently obsessive and gustatorily pliant esurience - the overpowering greed for things for which your tastes can easily be changed
sacred science of gimcrackery - where you place great value on an ability to present a good appearance where there is no substance behind it (like in pure politics, where your greatest talent is not in doing your job, but in managing to keep your job)
omnivorously voracious commercialization - the idea, which eats away at social idealism and public trust, of lowering the quality of goods and services just to increase profits, and of trying to make a profit out of everything
(back to verse 64)
Merriam-Webster Dictionary
entanglingly tentacular umbrage of tinge - a vague suggestion of change that troubles you and seems to wrap itself around you like an octopus
tenebrous, ominously omnibus adumbration - a dark and gloomy suggestion that disturbingly seems to relate to many things at once
catalytically cleaving reclassification - where you re-evaluate and redefine things in a way that pulls them out of their old groupings
colossal mass of wholesale disintegration - where everything falls apart at an incredibly stupendous level (like at the last rehearsal before a big performance, or like the world blowing up)
(back to verse 65)
Merriam-Webster Dictionary
autonomic collapse - where you try not to, but you just can't help caving in, breaking down and completely disintegrating into a jumbled mass of human wreckage or a flattened blob of quivering goo (depending on the weather)
sapless lassitude of dismay and devitalization - where, having lost all your spunk, you give up
(back to verse 66)
Merriam-Webster Dictionary
dispatching, with all embarrassing promptitude and unseemly celerity - where you set something into motion more quickly than you ought to, and it makes you feel pretty stupid
downward modulation - changing for the worse
multitudes of hitherto loftier tier, rank, image, esteem, caste, standing and station - lots of people who used to look less ridiculous than they do now
(back to verse 67)
Merriam-Webster Dictionary
erstwhile prestigiously powerful high pooh-bahs - people who used to be big muckity-mucks
otherwise tranquilly taciturn - except for right now, not very likely to go on a screaming rampage
saturnine - a clinical classification for cold-hearted pickle-suckers
serenely irenic - people who sit around with goofy smiles on their faces, and you can't make them mad
sanguinely sapient (if perhaps a bit stoutly straitlaced) equilibration - where people are basically well-balanced mentally and full of wisdom even though sometimes they can be opinionated jerks, rigidly self-righteous and tyrannically overbearing (well, nobody's perfect)
(back to verse 68)
Merriam-Webster Dictionary
serpentine sequences of sinfully silly sallies - when you regularly take little trips off the beaten path and have more fun than should be allowed
suffused with secretively sinister signification - filled with hidden meanings that ought not to be there (like when you sign for a bank loan and don't realize you have just offered your right leg as collateral)
staging of solecistic spectacles - where you put on big public exhibitions of bad manners (like a newly elected President of the United States belching outloud during his inaugural address)
sundry sorry scenes of senselessly supercilious elation - various times when, without any good reason, you act like a pompous jerk, wildly celebrating nothing at all
(back to verse 69)
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starkly ophidian stealth - the ability to move about unseen, just like a snake
sashaying into sudorifically strenuous raids and forays - invading and attacking, with so much vigor that you work up a good sweat (or "glow" if you are more inclined toward the feminine persuasion)
incursions and sorties of sanguineous recreation - brief little invasions in order to ransack, pillage and plunder, all in the spirit of good, clean, blood-thirsty fun
(back to verse 70)
Merriam-Webster Dictionary
puzzling impieties of impetuosity - where, without thinking, you jump head first into some things you wouldn't want your mother to know about
utterly earthy acts of imbecilic irrationality - absolutely disgusting behavior reflecting such feeblemindness that you ought to be supervised even in the performance of routine daily tasks such as wiping the drool off of your chin
pugnacious punks impertinently unimpressed by procedurally edentulous legal reprobation - bad guys who would just as soon punch you in the nose as look at you, who aren't afraid of the law because it has no teeth and can't be enforced
(back to verse 71)
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rakish enterprises full of polychotomous botcheries - immoral activities, being fouled up in any number of different ways (it's just as well)
display of temerariously atavistic abstrusities - where you have a very strange habit of choosing out-moded and unnecessarily dangerous ways of doing things
repertoire of other abhorrently ungainly gaucheries - the list of other things you can do which are also tactless and clumsy enough to make everybody want to run when they see you coming
unrepeatable, inenarrably inelegant confrontation - a face to face shouting match so lacking in grace and good manners that you wouldn't want to talk about it, even if you could
(back to verse 72)
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caddishly caballing in clubby cliques - people being friendly amongst themselves but ignoring the feelings of others outside their group, which happens to be up to no good anyway
clearly conducive to chummy, cravenly scummy capers of clownery - provides an easy way for people and their friends to act like low-life clowns as they break the law together (what it means for some people to get elected to congress)
cowardly cavorts of intramural crunching and punching - when you go around beating up on defenseless people within your own group
uncomical donnybrooks of pugilistic aggravation - brawls, free-for-alls and fist-fights that fail to make you laugh
(back to verse 73)
Merriam-Webster Dictionary
comprise unpardonably puerile poltrooneries of people-pounding and pummeling - are made up of unforgivably childish and silly, even cowardly, acts of assault and battery
added characterization - another thing that makes it different
peripatetic prowls for purloining and pilfering in the unjustifiably light-fingered expropriation - casing people's homes so you can nimbley break in and make their private propert your own (what burglers do) (burglers: a general classification including cat burglers, who only steal people's cats)
(back to verse 74)
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portable property - things you can carry off without a crane
Egad! and Forsooth! - Shakespearean for "Wow!"
pluck - what you have when nothing can get you down
transpicuously Tartarean usurpation - when, for taking stuff that isn‘t yours, you belong in Tartarus, a place where bad people get what’s coming to them
not exactly the least ludicrously lurid of lunes - not among the kind of fits other people throw which are less likely to get them committed to the loony bin than the kind you throw
meteoric crisis - a big problem suddenly shooting into your consciousness (like the alarm clock going off in the morning)
loony escalation - when things get out of hand because people are going nuts
(back to verse 75)
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minimindedly moronic moxie - when your determination proves that your little brain is several eggs short of a dozen
errantly purposive, unimaginably active - where nobody ever dreamed you could be so busy doing things wrong
perpetuation of myriad miscellaneous misdemeanors - where you sponsor a huge number of various little crimes
curmudgeonly trespasses of buoyantly barefaced non-cooperation - where the only thing that seems to make you happy is making other people mad
(back to verse 76)
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grimly grabbing dramatics of cloying pathos - the disgusting scenes you put on just to make others feel sorry for you
potent plays plying precatory manipulation - the highly effective things you do to get what you want (like holding your breath, or setting yourself on fire)
Punic posing - where, like a rotten good-for-nothing, you pretend to be something you’re not (such as a fragrant good-for-something)
stage-front grisly theatrics - where you aren’t a bit shy about doing ridiculous and horrible things right out in the open
canny connivance in careful calculation - where you cleverly lead people to do things they shouldn't so you can get the benefit (not the credit, but the benefit)
(back to verse 77)
Merriam-Webster Dictionary
address the whole wide scalably seedy spectrum - to deal with all the aspects of what is clearly a yucky mess
childish conduct of multifarious misfeasance - where having the moral development of a juvenile delinquent, your favorite hobby is to find all kinds of ways to do bad things without going to jail
comportment, decorum, constraint, probity and politesse - behaving yourself
abnegation - self-denial (as when with noble humility you choose not to make others feel inferior from seeing all the praise and admiration that would be heaped upon you if you behaved yourself - so you don‘t)
(back to verse 78)
Merriam-Webster Dictionary
incredibly insular - when you act as if you were born yesterday
impossibly preliminary - like opening the show before the first rehearsal and hoping for the best
dissuasively delusional - just too goofy to be taken seriously
preposterously presumptuous - having more willingness than any sane person to make a fool of yourself
deplorably Promethean - where you’re so original that no one can stand you
revoltingly ruffian rites of self-idolization - where tough guys ceremoniously beat people up just to remind themselves how wonderful they are
(back to verse 79)
Merriam-Webster Dictionary
naively nutty - showing you actually believe you are normal (ha, ha!)
nonchalantly narcissistic - when you are quite comfortable being the center of the universe
bafflingly idiopathic - coming from who knows where
insupportably pretentious - where you have no reason to think you're a big shot, but you do anyway
pathetically precritical - when it's a long time before you'll ever develope the capacity to make judgments, but of course, that doesn't stop you
prolepsis of their own self-worship on a vector of deification - where some people think it's about time to start bowing down to themselves in the mirror because they are almost gods already
(back to verse 80)
Merriam-Webster Dictionary
merrily rove and rave, ravage, pillage and plunder - where you go around like a maniac having a wonderful time tearing up, destroying and looting everything
marauding bands of highly pixilated blunderbusse - gangs of mentally unbalanced fools and idiots who are up to no good (like legislative committees on fact-finding missions)
dreadfully drastic deeds - things you have to do when the final straw has broken the camel’s back, when the final boobie has hatched, when too many cooks have spoiled a bird in the bush, and when the last drop of spilled milk has gone under the bridge because it was crossed before you came to it
deleterious demerit - a fault or shortcoming that will prove to be very harmful later (as when an otherwise very nice young person makes the decision to someday become an ax murderer)
demential indignation - mindless anger
(back to verse 81)
Merriam-Webster Dictionary
flung in a froth, frenzied, fumbling and fuming - thrown into something, all upset and confused (how you’d probably feel if you accidentally fell out of an airplane)
fugacious fandangos - stupid games that fortunately don’t last very long
frenetic fugues - frantic states of mind where, when you get better, you can’t remember what you did
frissons of fastuous fanfaronade - when a bully gets all worked up and tries to scare you
fantods and fiascos of fully unfurled manic disorientation - emotional outbursts and other embarrassments where you let yourself go in wild abandon
(back to verse 82)
Merriam-Webster Dictionary
gaggles of goofy goose-stepping galoots - gangs of dumb looking fools marching around like Nazi soldiers
gee-whiz guerillas - soldiers and terrorists who think they are pretty hot stuff
pinheaded palookas - persons of significant size who are distinguished by a remarkable paucity of physical grace and intellectual prowess (in other words, they are big, clumsy and stupid)
eclamptically accreting suppletory certification of a well-earned rap and really regrettable reputation - where you just keep on doing stuff that gives people even more bad things to say about you
(back to verse 83)
Merriam-Webster Dictionary
buccaneerishly galumphing - where you try to behave like a pirate but only manage to act like your shoes are too big
grievous garboils - horrible situations of confusion and turmoil
chthonian uproar - infernal commotion (like most modern "serious" music)
terpsicoresan bedlam - what happens when a few people forget their steps in a ballet
gallivanting in great gyres of callithumpian chaos - moving around in big circles of noisy confusion
near-simian agitation - almost like a barrel full of monkeys high on amphetamines
(back to verse 84)
Merriam-Webster Dictionary
pie-eyed picaroons - drunken scoundrels
bozos bouncing about, bibulously bound in graceless confederation - people acting like drunken circus clowns, sticking together because no one else wants them
bedraggled dead-beats - people who just sit around doing nothing, yet look like they've been dragged backwards through a hedge
perennially polluted and thoroughly smashed from lots of lusty libation - drunk
(back to verse 85)
Merriam-Webster Dictionary
well-oiled and potted; plastered three sheets to the wind - drunk
uproariously dipsomaniacal phantasmagoria - where you’re so drunk that all sorts of scary things pass before your eyes
flunkies falling down in a fescennine fantasyland - people who don’t meet already low expectations because they’re too busy having fun with obscene things (like kids who get bad grades because, instead of doing their homework, they watch TV)
engulphing insanity of epicurean degeneration - where you’re totally carried away in your own expensive, but destructive, tastes
(back to verse 86)
Merriam-Webster Dictionary
ungrateful vagabonds - bums who never say thank you
ne'er-do-wells wasting their weal - lazy, spoiled rich kids throwing away all the advantages they were born into
jadedly subfusc, limpid limbo of leisure - where, feeling unchallenged and tired of everything, you get lazy
touring carnival of shiftless jackanapes - like a traveling party of lazy people who think they are too important to have to work
dawdling in a desultory drift of Cyrenaic misappropriation - fooling around and heading nowhere, in accordance with the convenient philosophy that pleasure is the only thing that matters
(back to verse 87)
Merriam-Webster Dictionary
monolithic school of expressionless ichthyoids - like a bad dream where everybody has as much warmth and facial expression as fish
insensibly - not feeling anything
Erebus - a place of darkness that you pass through in the underworld on your way to Hades
cussed complicity of reproachable convention - where people share the blame, (but don’t ask them if they agree with you on that) for doing things badly just because that’s the way they’ve always been done
catastrophic shtick of cataleptic conformation - where you go along with everyone else, but it’s just an act where you’ve had to shut down your own feelings, and it turns out to be a disaster
(back to verse 88)
Merriam-Webster Dictionary
straitly stopped and stuck, stalled, stymied and stifled,stinted, strapped and stranded, sorely stricken, stunned and startled, stirred up and starkly stung, soundly slammed, well slapped and painfully pinched, pricked and pierced - hit over the head by a grand piano (figuratively, of course)
sudden scintillation - a sparkling feeling (like when you eat a whole pack of Alka-Selzer at once)
(back to verse 89)
Merriam-Webster Dictionary
successive sockdolagers of Solomonic sobriety - final blows, things that really do you in, one after the other, in the form of odd moments when you find yourself sober
anon - soon
balmily prompting undulation of warming waftures of reluctant intuition - where comforting waves of sudden realization, which you were actually trying to suppress, wash over you and quietly urge you to start doing something
zephyrs of inscrutably sagacious mentation - thoughts entering your mind as if on gentle breezes, which are so far-sighted, wise and penetrating that you can’t imagine what such things are doing in a brain like yours
(back to verse 90)
Merriam-Webster Dictionary
subsequently - next
small shudders - when something makes you shake your head suddenly and say, "Whoa!"
spasmodic shocks - sudden violent mental disturbances
ataxic seizures - sudden attacks where you lose control of your muscles
staying chagrin - feelings of humiliation that stop you dead in your tracks
forcefully bestilling savvy - some new understanding that makes you quit what you were doing
momentous muscular memos of sanative incitation - when your body reminds you in a big way that you’d better save yourself by doing something different
(back to verse 91)
Merriam-Webster Dictionary
swell in one excruciating singularization - where your soul expands in the most painful feelings you’ve ever experienced
peremptory sorrow and slackening self-censure - where you blame yourself to the point that you’ll never do it again (whatever it was) (at least until you get your nerve back)
below and beyond bemusement - where you know something is different, but you don’t have enough information to even be confused
bent into a destitution of self-abasing abashment and abject prostration - where you feel you have nothing left except your own embarrassment, salf-hatred and total collapse into helplessness
(back to verse 92)
Merriam-Webster Dictionary
reinventively rise up and recant, reconnoiter, reconsider, reorder, retrench, remap and regroup in recuperation - to get over it
resolutely resound, without even so much as a soupçon, or the slightest rudimentary remnant of any real reservation - to say something loudly, without being shy about it (like Ethel Merman)
(back to verse 93)
Merriam-Webster Dictionary
screeching, squeaking, squealing, squalling and squawking - the way some people sing who shouldn’t (like Ethel . . . no, we won't say it)
calamitous counterpoint - where different voices are heard at the same time, leaving us much worse for the wear
high-decibel dilatation - where people nearly go deaf listening to you explain things
stentorian anathema - what they could call those really loud explanations that they hate so much for making them nearly go deaf
moiling exhibition of ungodly commotion in aleatoric ululation - a demonstration where people get all worked up in random wailing and howling (not unlike the British House of Commons)
(back to verse 94)
Merriam-Webster Dictionary
tornadic furor in a redoubtable detonation of ear-shredding shrieks in stridulous harmonization - like the singing of a really bad choir
swirling saturnalia of shrill, sharply strident shouts and unsavory salvos not fit for publication - where the singing breaks down into a riot of yelling and screaming and the calling of nasty names which we won’t mention (like what happens when the conductor keeps the choir overtime after a long rehearsal)
(back to verse 95)
Merriam-Webster Dictionary
ceaseless cascading of bloodcurdling caterwauls - like the cries of a dying cow with a microphone
searing torrent of clattering grunts, croaks and cries - like the singing of a really bad choir
abrasive brandishment - like when the conductor waves his baton at the really bad choir and threatens to stab someone
discordant concatenation of rabid rants and acidly acrimonious exclamation - what happens when the conductor asks the choir why they are singing so badly
(back to verse 96)
Merriam-Webster Dictionary
wrong-headedly rowdy, ribald, raucous and raunchy - just like a bunch of slaphappy cowboys in a saloon
battering, even butcherly - hurtful, even savage (but otherwise harmless)
unboundedly bad, brusque and bawdy - not suitable for polite company
studiously lewd, crude and laconically rude - where you try very hard to be offensive and embarrassing to yourself and everyone else
consuetudinary excuse for polite communication - what people accept as normal in place of talking decently with each other
(back to verse 97)
Merriam-Webster Dictionary
bandying of empty-headed codswallop - conversing thoughtlessly about a lot of meaningless nonsense
apothegms of bewilderingly ambiguous badinage - short sayings of supposed wisdom which only confuse you because they could mean lots of different things
brazen blazonry in the peddling of brainless balderdash - where you make an obnoxious fool of yourself spreading idiotic nonsense
belching banter - unpredictable outpourings of whit
misbegotten encapsulation - a brief statement that "says it all," where it ought to be left unsaid
(back to verse 98)
Merriam-Webster Dictionary
deceptive tenure and acceptation - where everyone is fooled into thinking something is okay just because they’ve been holding onto it for dear life
inexcusably unscrupulous customization - where there is no excuse for the wickedness of making certain things normal when they should not be
chic but scabrously offensive and fatefully foul affaire - a piece of business that may look good on the surface, but is very bad and will come back to haunt you
artifice of ruthlessly unprincipled adulteration - something made up to look a lot better than it is, just proving that somebody has no ruth (conscience)
(back to verse 99)
Merriam-Webster Dictionary
notably utilitarian and (aha!) suspiciously Faustian - where something is useful, for the moment, and the devil may take the future for all you care, including your soul if it serves your present purposes
aesthetic of misread rights and victimization - where in your twisted mind, to have an overblown sense of what the world owes you, and thus to feel sorry for yourself when it doesn’t pay, is somehow a beautiful thing
adrenergic angst - where your anxiety feeds on itself, and being anxious makes you even more anxious because you’re already anxious about being anxious and, feeling you shouldn't be so anxious in the first place, you get anxious about that and then you get even more anxious about being so anxious about being anxious
self-relinquishing eager submission - where you are happy to give up your own needs for something else
Pavlovian pawnship - where you automatically respond to the manipulation of others
distractive dehumanization - where they make you feel like less that a human being so you are too hurt to sense what is really happening
(back to verse 100)
Merriam-Webster Dictionary
phenomenon of infamous finesse in malefic flimflam - famously skillful handling of what you think is dangerous information (what politicians call "spin")
irreformably fly flab - well-formed ideas that have as much intellectual substance as a Twinkie
flatly flagrant flatulence - stupid ideas that you just have to know are going to make people mad
deceitfully forgetive - something you made up just to fool people strongly astringent asperity of Spartanly steely zeal - the rough time you’re in for when you try to achieve something with all the self-discipline and disregard for pain of a robot (or a professional ballet dancer)
theoretical sanitization - where you just play with the idea of removing all the bad stuff
(back to verse 101)
Merriam-Webster Dictionary
ironically seems to belie all the brackish banality of its own particular forms of poverty-stricken petrification - where, try as you might, you can’t hide how awful something is and has been for so long that it's too late to change it
calmly copacetic - when you are like the man who falls out of a 75th floor window, his cell phone rings and the caller says, "How are you doing?" and he answers, "So far, so good!"
scurrilously scrofulous and sordid sterility - describes a product of mental contamination, ugly and vulgar in its lack of resemblance to anything supporting life
seamy evocation - disgusting things being brought to mind
(back to verse 102)
Merriam-Webster Dictionary
poison so sheeny and putatively appealing - something that is very desirable, even though it could kill you (tobacco, alcohol, drugs, double-cheese pizza, ec.)
puissantly paralyzing to what precious little remains of conscience in the venerable old bastions of conservation - destroys what is left of correct thinking in places where you would still hope to find it (like in the federal courts, in congress, and in the voice of the people as spoken by their electoral choices, not to mention where they choose to spend their money in the market place)
puristic delineation - recognition of what was right, is right, and always will be right (takes a lot of nerve, these days)
(back to verse 103)
Merriam-Webster Dictionary
nocent to the plexus - harmful to the place in the system where all the elements come together
bedimming to the very nexus - tending to blur the focus ("Your comments are bedimming to the nexus")
quondam concentered and once-shared righteous notions - where we used to agree on what is right
watchfulness weakly wanes - we lose interest
nearly comatose - when our emotional reactions resemble those of an egg plant
indiscriminate toleration - where your mind is so open that your brains fall out
(back to verse 104)
Merriam-Webster Dictionary
dredge the depths of this cockeyed conundrum - to get to the bottom of this goofy mess
unravel an unfathomable nebulosity by impetration - to supposedly figure out, just by asking, what nobody has been able to figure out yet
dumbfounded conniption of incredulous consternation - where your jaw drops to the floor and you nearly faint in surprise and disbelief
(back to verse 105)
Merriam-Webster Dictionary
snowed, blindsided and buffaloed - fooled
hunkering down in a pungent putrescence, a cool, cowering sequestration from the reek and the stench, the olfactory violation, of this benighting, but emphatically beloved, abomination - where you simply settle into a state of moral rot as if having given up is a kind of shelter from fighting the stink of something truly horrible but very popular (if you can't beat 'em, join 'em)
(back to verse 106)
Merriam-Webster Dictionary
sheepish contrition - where you are finally ready to swallow your pride and say "Oops!"
acceding to the pleasingly hypnagogic seduction - caving in, giving in, giving up
ubiquitous snare - a trap that is found everywhere
vernacular acculturation - the trap you have fallen into when you follow the crowd
(back to verse 107)
Merriam-Webster Dictionary
tumbling headstrong, headlong through that hidden trapdoor - falling for it
being had, nabbed, unhinged, tricked, tackled and taken - they got you
elusive lure - where you just can’t understand why something is so attractive, because it’s really pretty disgusting when you think about it
fool's gold - stuff that looks better than it really is (unlike Richard Wagner’s music which is said to actually be better than it sounds)
slumming sedation - an inappropriate state of rest and relaxation
far too entrancingly pragmatic transmigration - a change to a different state of being which is much too easy and immediately useful for anyone's good
(back to verse 108)
Merriam-Webster Dictionary
whatever the instrument, voice or venue - you choose the weapon and the place
nominally classical music presentation - a concert where it probably helps if you are tone-deaf, or better yet, stone deaf
cause for reparation - a good reason to sue for your money back, for psychiatric costs and punitive damages
ugsome happening - a frightful event (even enough to make you exclaim, "Ugh!")
chafing de facto incarceration - annoyingly like being locked up in jail (not that any of us would really know, would we?)
(back to verse 109)
Merriam-Webster Dictionary
attending detention in a hostage situation - where you come to be entertained, and find that armed guards have been hired to block the exits
bruised and beleaguered - how you feel (at least what you say in public) when they pull you out of the cement mixer that someone "accidentally" pushed you into
mired in a morass of drowsy discombobulation - how you feel (but can't get your tongue moving to say it) when you get up too early in the morning
(back to verse 110)
Merriam-Webster Dictionary
ere long dampens their dander down to discomfiture - soon calms them down, so now they are only confused and embarrassed
descends to the ends of squirming discountenance - when they get so mad at what is happening they can hardly sit still (and really don’t like it when you try to strap them into their seats)
disconcerted disquietude further deliquesces to points past the discipline of stoic desperation - when they have a further melt down and are not about to take it anymore
tryingly outré - when something is so weird that it gets on your nerves
(back to verse 111)
Merriam-Webster Dictionary
auditively ataractic ordeal - where what you hear nearly puts you into a coma (unconsciousness to the rescue!)
dour disconsolation - where you’ve decided that nothing can make you feel better
devolves into a smelter of unendurable adversity - turns into something you can’t stand anymore
morphinic abyss of such eroded conation - where you feel drugged into La-La Land (no, not Los Angeles) and you have no more desire to do anything but just sit and stare at the floor
(back to verse 112)
Merriam-Webster Dictionary
dustup, the slugfest, the motley melismatic melee, the maelstrom of musical mayhem - describes the sound when musicians are not exactly playing together; in fact they are getting mad and are about to hit each other over the head with their instruments
ructions retreat - the riot fizzles out
bucolic bombination - sounds like the peaceful quiet buzz of life way off in yonder countryside
(back to verse 113)
Merriam-Webster Dictionary
efflux of anarchy, upheaval and seige - like the aftermath of a mob going berserk (in this case, it was the orchestra)
pacific solatium - like a peace-offering to make up for your suffering
arcadian vacation - like a retreat to your favorite quiet place in the country (or like going to bed, for that matter)
strangely stertorous sort of susurration - like a general murmur, whisper or buzz which, come to think of it, sounds just like people snoring
(back to verse 114)
Merriam-Webster Dictionary
soothing surfeit, an anxiolytic desert, of understandably escapist rest and relaxation - like a tidal wave sweeping everybody away in much-needed nerve-soothing flights of fancy
reformative rush of pride-impairing, richly rubefacient realization - where reality comes back all at once and leaves them red-faced and embarrassed
(back to verse 115)
Merriam-Webster Dictionary
seriocomically soporific snafu - a big mess where you don’t know whether to laugh or cry at what is happening, but it doesn’t matter because now it’s putting you to sleep anyway
timely anodyne of symphonic etherization - where fortunately the music itself relieves the pain it's causing by knocking you out
semblable senectitude - where everyone starts looking and acting like they are 107 years old
private idylls of languid nutation - where we keep nodding off into dreamland
(back to verse 116)
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forthwith - immediately if not sooner
well past the cast for futzing in folderol or fudging hesitation - where we no longer need to fool around just to avoid the subject at hand
gist and the grist of this excursive disquisition - the main point of this discussion which up to now has not even been suggested
modest proposal imploring for regulation - a humble request for some rules
(back to verse 117)
Merriam-Webster Dictionary
sublate our bewitchingly perfunctory preference for languishing in lethargically phlegmatic procrastination - to forsake the easy habit of putting everything off until we feel a little more perky
redemptive obviation of such distressingly insubstantial subrogation - where we save the situation by no longer accepting such poor substitutes for quality
(back to verse 118)
Merriam-Webster Dictionary
bravely essaying past a plodding modality - where we risk making people mad by deciding we will no longer trudge through their slow, laborious, tedious, monotonous, but otherwise tiresome and ineffective methods of doing things
paltry, poky, merely hypothetical formulation of rambling, probatorily irrelevant research - inefficient, wasteful methods of research that have nothing to do with the questions at hand
clinical trial, by direct implementation - doing research buy actually trying things out
(back to verse 119)
Merriam-Webster Dictionary
admittedly on the fringe - okay, so maybe it does come from Mars or Pluto
a little radically avant-garde - at the very forefront of progress (or the forefront of nonsense if you happen to be sane enough to recognize the difference)
a bit impractically far-fetched, but nonetheless compulsively fastidious, experimentation - probably too goofy to work, but still an extremely clean and careful process of trial and error
(back to verse 120)
Merriam-Webster Dictionary
pre-emptive disbursement of minor medical assistance from amphetamines - where, to prevent a general sleep-in, you give out a little medicine to help the audience stay awake (but hopefully not turn them into a restless mob)
nutritive application - eating, or injecting directly into the blood stream
surreptitious - secret
donation of strategic pharmaceutical invigoration - where you give the audience, through the wonder-world of drugs, the will to live through a concert that might otherwise lead them to mass suicide
(back to verse 121)
Merriam-Webster Dictionary
little measured morsels of molecular design - cute little pills
sub rosa with judicious synchronization - carefully planned to be right in time with something else, so no one can see what you are doing
concomitantly with the playbill - right along with the printed program they put into your hands
(back to verse 122)
Merriam-Webster Dictionary
generously complimentary, of course, yet still, by all means otherwise, wisely discretionary stringless gift, issuance and free dissemination - where it’s very nice of them to give you this for free, but they do have to be careful not to get caught
(back to verse 123)
Merriam-Webster Dictionary
fostering of fine, friendly philophonetic fellowship through high giddy games of glad-handing and phatic persiflage - helping everyone have a good time together by being a little drunk, shaking each other’s hands and engaging in meaningless conversation
nascence of knowledgeability in matters of music appreciation - where you just begin to actually know something about music
(back to verse 124)
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less questionable premise for culminant cultural convocation - a more solid basis for building an audience
those few among us of a little less certifiably frivolous inclination - we who aren’t quite as flaky as the rest of you
(back to verse 125)
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probably improbable but contradistinctively responsible recommendation - an idea that clearly isn’t so crazy, even though it probably won't work (as opposed to those ideas that clearly are crazy, but also will not work)
felicitous phantasm - a pleasant dream
embodies much more intriguingly sound and salubrious innovation - is made of changes that are far more sensible and better for your health
(back to verse 126)
Merriam-Webster Dictionary
strictly exogenous - from outside of you, and not related to the temporary chemical content of your blood
assuredly more deeply satisfying and acceptably accessible - certainly feels a lot better, and you can get it without killing yourself or going to jail
less evanescent - lasts longer
achievably comprehensible transports of innocent excitation - good ways, which are actually within reach, of getting yourself excited without loosing your mind or breaking the law
(back to verse 127)
Merriam-Webster Dictionary
much better maneuver - a smart move, finally
much more tenable tack - a method you can actually stand the thought of
more propitiously propped up with promise - more favorably set up
independent - where you don’t need any artificial help, thank you
sempiternally replenishable - when you can always get a refill
plenitude of pluripotently multiplicative perceptual augmentation - all kinds of different ways to greatly increase your awareness
(back to verse 128)
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clarion clamor - a big noise that nobody can miss, or misunderstand
cultured conspicuity - where you make a careful point of drawing attention to yourself
assiduous avowal and adamant acclamation - voicing your opinion so strongly that it has the effect of ending all discussion
intrepid - brave
perennially saponaceous expurgation - the unending effect of moral cleansing (like when your mother washes your mouth out with a bar of soap after you’ve uttered some bad words)
climbing the cuspate acclivity toward acclimatization - where you work hard to get used to something
(back to verse 129)
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altitude of altogether cleansing oblation - the spiritual heights where you cleanse your soul through worshipful offerings (more effective than soap)
reboant repudiation - where you reject something in a manner that really echoes
discredited and crumbling credo of hackneyed acting - the no-longer-acceptable belief in the acceptability of performances that are stale and unoriginal
ancillary hebephrenically foppish affectation - what goes along with it, namely putting on airs and acting like a fool because you’re insanely concerned with how you look
(back to verse 130)
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crusade for bewitching interpretive crystallization - where we try to figure out how to always perform in a way that will cast a spell over everyone
differentiation - what makes things different so you can distinguish them from other things
finalization of our keenly perspicacious care and preparation - the finished form of what you have worked on with wisdom and sharp intelligence
(back to verse 131)

reflection of refractive reverence in the ever delicate gestation - the results that show what can happen if you give enough love and protective care to the initial concept and development of your ideas
sublime and indeed supernally incandescent powers of lift, levitation and empyrean edification - the ability to lift us out of this world (without funeral expenses)
(back to verse 132)
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aerial ascendency - rising up very high
hotly addressing the amply amendatory alembic of amelioration - working vigorously to make things better
roundly renovative revolution - really turning things around (like the American, French, and Bolshevik revolutions, for example)
rescission, rejection and raw renunciation - where you have nothing to do with it anymore
(back to verse 133)
Merriam-Webster Dictionary
invested with an aura enticing of apperception all the more widely seen in hindsight's so conveniently concise and coldly clarifying confirmation - better seen in hindsight
(back to verse 134)
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axiomatic prototype - unquestionably the best example
epitome - the embodiment, or the finest example
extravagantly eximious exemplification - an example that is far more excellent than we need it to be
bona fide - the real McCoy
inimitable instrument of apt illustration - serves better than anything else to make things clear
(back to verse 135)
Merriam-Webster Dictionary
bleakly brambly bromide - a stupid but widely held idea that creates a lot of problems
misapprehensive supererogation - doing more than you have to, out of fear of what the future may bring if you don’t
conjecturally extrapolatory exertion in the exercise of epexegetically epistemological expatiation - what you go through when you try to figure out who you are
(back to verse 136)
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archtypically stellar luminosity - a most perfectly outstanding state of clarity and understandability
inductive diagnosis - where you see different things and draw them together toward general conclusions
definitive delamination of pointed pertinency in the empirical indagation - getting to the heart of your investigation
(back to verse 137)
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superveniently garish glut of gimmicky gewgaws and tawdry pop slop - the unexpectedly tasteless oversupply of popular junk
hieratic hog wash - the kind of horse feathers often blown at you from pompous wind bags with flashy academic credentials
stress and traumatization of its thorough assimilation - the harm done when we start behaving like we actually believe a particular lie
insuperable solicitation - where we just can’t stop bringing (something) on ourselves
(back to verse 138)
Merriam-Webster Dictionary
beguiling but also begriming and bestially imbruting - where it seems very desirable, but don’t you believe it because it will turn you into a wild and filthy beast
inundation and throbbing saturation - where you feel overwhelmed and buried up to your eyebrows
corrosive and corruptingly invasive sonic salaciousness and sensualization - music that turns your animal instincts on and your brain off
(back to verse 139)
Merriam-Webster Dictionary
hoi polloi - the common folk; salt of the earth (us)
rummy rabble and riffraff - the lowest class of people; disreputable persons who are mildly insane (them)
less appreciable, yet no less elysian fields - areas of thought that may be harder to understand, but it doesn’t make tham any less heavenly
(back to verse 140)
Merriam-Webster Dictionary
surpassing infinitude of ineffably blissful and blessing beautification - beauty pouring down as if from heaven
sink to wink at seeking a stink of droning, ham-fisted, supraliminal unsubtilization - where we refrain from throwing into jail, or simply shooting, the musicians who enhance their concerts of unintelligible screaming by biting the heads off of live chickens, or by performing obscene bodily functions, or by smashing their instruments over each other’s heads, or by dancing around as if they are being electrocuted, or by being made up to look like they haven’t slept for three weeks
(back to verse 141)
Merriam-Webster Dictionary
gonzo Gehenna - a bizarre state of misery
gullible gulosity - where you are so greedy that you can be easily fooled
Sisyphean toil - work that keeps getting undone every time you finish (like cleaning the house, mowing the lawn, or establishing peace among nations)
well embroidered, for show of competitive servility - made to look more difficult so you can appear more like a slave than the next guy
thespian sighs - pathetic, essentially private breathing noises that you make as if you are on stage and trying to impress the top row of the balcony
globular beads of synthetic perspiration - big round drops of fake sweat
(back to verse 142)
Merriam-Webster Dictionary
unbudgeably indulging ourselves - where no one can keep us from doing just what we want
engrossments - things that hold all your attention ("The gallows doth wonderfully concentrate the mind.")
entropic indolence - where you are so lazy that you let everything around you fall into total chaos
myopic amentia - where you are too dumb to see past the end of your nose (Does this mean that people with big noses are smarter because they can see farther?)
raddled - where your brain suddenly seems a bit smaller and feels like it's rolling around inside your head
self-bilked - where you have cheated yourself
insouciantly soused in a summative stupefaction that harbors hebetation - where you’re so confused and deluded that you don’t even care about being drunken with a kind of stupidity that fosters its own special depth of dim-wittedness
(back to verse 143)
Merriam-Webster Dictionary
irredeemably uncouth - being outrageous beyond help in look and behavior (because you’ve lost all your couth)
well knockably hidebound - where they could easily make fun of you for being so resistant to change
imperviously wayward - where you’re going to do your own thing and nobody can stop you (except with a big butterfly net or a bullet)
obscurely synergic - where people work together, but not because they mean to
obstinately xylocephalic - stubbornly wooden-headed
truly obtuse - not well thought out
apologies to sheep - in case any shepherds read this to their sheep, we don’t want the sheep to be offended: we are not anti-sheep
ovine order of aspiration - having about as much desire for achievement as sheep
(back to verse 144)
Merriam-Webster Dictionary
pestiferously impassioned induration - where it’s harmful to society for you to be so passionately hardened in your ideas of right and wrong
portentous prominence - something gravely serious and very noticeable (for example, World War II)
exotically pagan plague - where everyone is getting carried away in strange sensual pleasures (oo-la-la!)
palpably protrusive insurgence and infestation - where there’s no way not to notice that this has permeated society
(back to verse 145)
Merriam-Webster Dictionary
gaunt gestalt - a rather cheerless way of looking at the world
ungovernable impersonalization of basely banausic and ratty ratiocination - where nothing can make you recognize higher aesthetic and spiritual values because it's a dog-eat-dog world and therefore you have to think of nothing but how to feed your face and make a living
commensurately bovine grasp and captivation - just how much like a cow you have to be in your understanding and in your ability to be told what to do
unconditional consignation to such uglification - total surrender to ugliness
(back to verse 146)
Merriam-Webster Dictionary
thaumaturgic existential convergence - a miraculous coincidence
unforseeably solipsistic coincidence and conspiration of stringently strained and sheerly sciolistic sophistry - where no one could imagine you would actually suggest such a lot of wild and crazy ideas just to make yourself look educated (as if anything could work)
scoffably stilted and stuffy pseudo-sophistication - where you make pompous attempts to appear full of knowledge and culture, but of course nothing helps
(back to verse 147)
Merriam-Webster Dictionary
minatory mist - a feeling of threat in the air
miasmatic mystification - where you ruin something by trying to make it seem mysterious
fuzzy feasibility of mutely muzzy mimicry - the vague possibility of people behaving as you want them to, even if only in silent confusion
malleable malversation - where it’s easy to get people to misbehave (in other words, everywhere)
(back to verse 148)
Merriam-Webster Dictionary
simmer and stew in the slough of accomodation - feeling you have to be morally degraded just to get along with the people around you
indigestible denegation - a state of denial which you can't stomach
queerly quivering and quite easily queasy - where you are shaking and about to throw-up
perpending - pondering; thinking about
(back to verse 149)
Merriam-Webster Dictionary
unseasonable winter - a period of death and desolation that should not be happening now
waking Walpurgis Night - a nightmare you can’t wake up from because you are not asleep
valetudinarian floccipaucinihilipilification - where you have a bunch of hypochondriacs sitting around pretending to be sick and trying to destroy each other with insults about how healthy they look
brutally betokening - hinting at something awful, and in no way softening the blow
unwelcomely weighty wallop - like being punched in the nose when you would prefer not to be
boom of gloom, doom, looming death and devastation - where something goes slightly amiss and you think, "Aauugh! We’re all going to die!"
(back to verse 150)
Merriam-Webster Dictionary
detestably down-dumbing dunning of demoralization - where all the terrible discouragement they heap on you dulls your brain as well as your senses
bombastic bluster and unblinking bloviation - big talk (like professional "wrestlers" whipping up the crowd, before they begin their combative choreography)
juvenescent jackals - young people who act like fools joining with others in bad behavior
nerve-jangling and jarringly jeering in their jumping jubilation - where people have the kind of good time that makes you nervous
(back to verse 151)
Merriam-Webster Dictionary
writhing - twisting in pain
rubbed and riled at all the revelry rising - getting mad when you see other people having too much fun
quaking quagmire of unquotably querulous quibbling - a big mess where people are arguing bitterly back and forth
demonstrably inexpugnable energization - where you can plainly see that there is no way to calm people down as they work themselves into a lather
(back to verse 152)
Merriam-Webster Dictionary
douse any decent sense of discernment - to make it so you can't tell what is really happening anymore
cataractous deluge of dubitation - a raging flood of doubt
faintest shimmer, the dimmest glint or dislimned glimmer of any primordial predetermination - the smallest suggestion that there might have been any early-stage planning before we got into this mess
(back to verse 153)
Merriam-Webster Dictionary
salvifically salutary intellectualization - where you use your brains to save yourself
foresightful provision for the abbreviation, if not for the actual pellucid penetration - early plans to minimize, if not openly expose something
(back to verse 154)
Merriam-Webster Dictionary
diurnally damaging - does harm on a daily basis (like breathing the air, drinking the water and eating your favorite foods)
beholdably, abundantly batty bumblings - all kinds of crazy foul-ups that you can actually see happening
Unbelievably Bubbleheaded Booboisie - the general public (excluding anyone who is reading this, of course)
bourgeois plurality of overbearing bimbos - ham-fisted bird-brains who only look out for themselves
knee-jerk reaction: the reflexive limitation - where you have an annoying habit of stopping all the fun without even thinking first
(back to verse 155)
Merriam-Webster Dictionary
hypothetical - don’t worry; it’s only imaginary
tutorial workings of introspective excavation - what you can learn from looking deep inside yourself
transitory maw of soul-searching self-assessment - where you find yourself for a moment as if standing before the horrible gaping jaws of self-knowledge
spirit-everting examination - where you turn yourself inside out seeking the truth
(back to verse 156)
Merriam-Webster Dictionary
penumbra - a surrounding area where the central thing exists to a lesser degree
highly glorified glitter, glitz and glamour - the appearance of great giddy fun which the world associates with certain things that only look that way but aren't
instinctively cautious and conservative - when something tells you not to take chances (such as getting out of bed in the morning)
respectfully recessive - where you tend to withdraw, out of concern over getting yourself killed
tentative - hesitant, uncertain
timorously realistic - where, being brutally denied the bliss of ignorance, you have to actually know what’s going on, and it scares you
unromantic visualization - an unimaginative, supposedly (but not necessarily) realistic and unemotional way of seeing things
(back to verse 157)
Merriam-Webster Dictionary
horizontal aerobatics - feats of flight, low and parallel to the ground (pretty good considering you don’t have wings)
vaudevillian side-show of ballistic punctuation - an explosive performance, fit for the stage
swashbuckling, slubbering swan song - a final appearance, where you try to act like a dare-devil but you make a big mess of it
hyposensitizing high-velocity self-defenestration - where you throw yourself out the window, hoping to have gathered up enough speed to land in the bushes on the other side to the street, but you miss and, either through a rush of adrenaline or having your body flattened like a pancake, you don’t really feel very much
(back to verse 158)
Merriam-Webster Dictionary
moot - it no longer matters
deflation of cancellation - where your plan loses its appeal because, among other reasons, there is no way it’s ever going to happen
high-timely virtue of lugubrious moderation - where you get too depressed to keep acting so crazy, and not a moment too soon
fortuitous five-star funk of autosuggestive fatigue - a first-rate state of depression where you hypnotize yourself into exhaustion, and in this case it’s a darned good thing you did
thankworthy benefaction of neurasthenic dissipation - where you ought to be grateful for the gift of an emotional disturbance that takes away all your motivation (for things like throwing yourself out the window)
(back to verse 159)
Merriam-Webster Dictionary
recessional inanition of anorectic dispassion - where you are too pooped to toot because you’ve quit eating and lost all your interest in everything
attitudinal climate of costive immobilization - where, because of the way you feel about things, you move so slowly it would take time-lapse photography to tell if you’re moving at all
benedictory boon of demolishing disinterest - where it’s a good thing that your total indifference now makes it impossible to do what you were planning to do
superfetation of anaphylactic enervation - where, in a vicious cycle, you weaken, and because of that, you keep weakening even more
(back to verse 160)
Merriam-Webster Dictionary
well wizened and wearily wistful - feeling shrunken and wrinkled, not unlike a prune, and too tired to do anything but mourn the good old days
woozily wobble - where, feeling weak and dizzy, you stagger from side to side
wary of wiggling and whiffling in wrenching doubt, disconnection, distrait decrepitude and limp-wristed, washed-out volitional debilitation - where, being such a pathetic piece of human wreckage, you’re afraid of losing your way
(back to verse 161)
Merriam-Webster Dictionary
gruesome gaffes, gags and gadarene grotesqueries - wild blunders
unaccountable commissions of astronomical nincompoopery - things you do that are so goofy they can’t be explained
madness so nocuously rife, ripe and rippingly roiling - craziness so abundant, so fully developed, so agitated and ready to explode
foremost, most vortically atrabilious confabulation - the worst, most mean-spirited discussion
(back to verse 162)
Merriam-Webster Dictionary
inform - to give a certain character or essence to something
fissiparous fatuity - the kind of stupidity that makes a group fall apart
open visibility of all our operant idiocy - the immediate result of not hiding how stupidly we do things
foiling foibles - our flaws that prevent us from achieving what we want
fine fetes of fiendish fleering - the good times some people have making fun of others
frigid fribbling - when we don’t even care that we are fooling around and messing things up
pachydermatous polarization - where, with the sensitivity of rhinoceri (or rhinoceroses, if you prefer), we each head for our own corner of the ring, ready to come out fighting
(back to verse 163)
Merriam-Webster Dictionary
well tailored warpage for precursory dotage - just what you need for growing old before your time
stricture of superfluously comprehensive incubation - much more than what you really need to help something develop
anachronistic senility by means of modification through premature geriatric transmogrification - where your brain becomes as old and rigid as your body, all much sooner than it would if you didn’t have to put up with all of this
(back to verse 164)
Merriam-Webster Dictionary
struggle, stutter, stagger, stumble and tremble feeling trammelled and trampled flat, almost to annihilation - I can’t talk, walk, or even stand up straight, I trip over flat surfaces and I can’t stop hiccupping, I itch everywhere, my gums are bleeding and I shake uncontrollably, I feel like I’m being tied up and crushed and like I’m about to die - but aside from all that I feel pretty good
trapped under a tremendously taxing tortuosity - where you can’t escape from something so complex it takes everything out of you
terrifying toll of truly triturating trepidation - the frightening price of crushing anxiety you pay because of something you are doing
(back to verse 165)
Merriam-Webster Dictionary
completely unglued - how you’d feel if you won the lottery, or lost the remote to your TV set
fickly flee, flag, flinch, fiddle or fidget - where you act like you have ants in your pants
flukey but fatally feral fracas - where it may be unusual, but people are brawling and killing each other like wild animals (like parents at Little League games, shoppers at department store sales, drivers on the freeway, nations at war, etc.) (well, maybe it's not so unusual)
frightfully ferocious conflagration - whatever battle you happen to be waging at the time
(back to verse 166)
Merriam-Webster Dictionary
combust and speedily explode - to blow up
causative but purely unintentional instigation - that which accidentally makes something happen, but doesn't mean to
onerously obnoxious otiosity - a useless pain in the neck
weaseling wind-baggery and forensic ostentation - the substance of most political speeches
(back to verse 167)
Merriam-Webster Dictionary
pique, poke, prod and plainly pervert the public palaver - to misdirect everyone from what is really happening so they will argue about all the wrong things (what the major news media usually manage to do)
infusions of argy-bargy - things they throw into the discussion just to get you mad and start arguing
wring the recitation of wanton waggery, wheeling, dealing and polemical woop-de-do - the process of turning otherwise honest people into bloated wind bags
salty scenes of tensely contentious disputation - where people argue, and they’re trying not to punch each other in the nose
(back to verse 168)
Merriam-Webster Dictionary
Hark! and Hope Ahoy! - Hey! Lookey there!
favorably haphazard happenstance - good luck
hieing out of hiding - quickly popping into view
harbingers of help in the emergent incorporation of haply serendipitous psychological fortification - changes we didn’t expect, but they’ll make us feel better
(back to verse 169)
Merriam-Webster Dictionary
dippy potpourri of promotively pulsant pabulum - a goofy, throbbing, messy attempt to get us to do something
painstakingly positing peace and palliation - where you try very hard to convince everyone to calm down
belittleably entertaining antidote - a source of relief, which some pickle-sucker is bound to say is no good because it’s too much fun
diligently assembled with hardly a single shred or twist of disinformation - means I've worked very hard to write this with absolutely no exaggerations or falsehoods (except for those I couldn't avoid))
(back to verse 170)
Merriam-Webster Dictionary
catchy contraption of cathartic contrariety - a very noticeable way of making yourself feel better by being disagreeable
pretty pitch for therapeutic rehabilitation - where you make a good stab at feeling better by returning to your former glory
wee bagatelle - an item of no real size or substance
arcane verbosity - lots of words that nobody understands (like in this poem!)
syllabic inflation - where your syllables seem to be having babies and multiplying into bigger and bigger words
(back to verse 171)
Merriam-Webster Dictionary
soupy syllabus of superficial sentimentalities - a sentimental summary of shallow ideas based merely on emotions (if somebody else wrote it), or on the other hand, a touching summary of noble ideas straight from the heart (if you wrote it)
fancy fardel of infectious fascination - a skillfully crafted collection of material that you just can’t put down
mulligan stew of scholiastic scolding - where someone finds any number of arguments against you which only convince you further that he's an opinionated fat-head
sublunarily outsized exercitation - where you get more worked up than you ought to, considering how uninspired you are
(back to verse 172)
Merriam-Webster Dictionary
droll rendition of rolling rodomontade - where you make a great speech about how wonderful you are, but no one can tell if you’re serious (after all, how could you be?)
risible rhapsodies of rhythm and rhyme - extravagent poetic utterances that make us laugh
daedal discourse - a very intricate explanation
purgative purport of passably perspicuous exfoliation - serves to make things clear by spreading out the subject in a way that any semi-intelligent fool can understand
(back to verse 173)
Merriam-Webster Dictionary
congesting congeries of colloquial convolutions - a collection, all crammed together, of everyday complications (like your day-planner)
perdurably closet, conceal, cover, cloak and camouflage - to hide
cockamamy cozenage - something ridiculous that tricks you into doing something stupid (like teen-age peer-pressure)
condescension, clever cockalorum and incorrigible obfuscation - where they talk down to you, brag about themselves and leave you utterly confused (not a good teaching technique for the classroom, but widely used anyway)
(back to verse 174)
Merriam-Webster Dictionary
self-aggrandizement by arduous arrogance - where you try very hard to look important by acting as if you actually think you are (despite all the evidence)
allowably littered with lots of light-hearted levity - where you try to be funny, just shy of the point where people start physically attacking you in response
architectonic foisting - where, by careful design, you slip something past the public’s attention
newfangled farragoes - where things (like ideas) get all mixed up and confused in ways which, up until now, no one has ever been goofy enough to imagine
caliginous quodlibet yet void of fabrication - any obscure philosophical point offered in complete sincerity (which means you actually believe what you are saying)
(back to verse 175)
Merriam-Webster Dictionary
malapertly protracted pullulation - where, showing that you have more nerve than wisdom, you keep things (ideas, people, anything) uncomfortably thrown together and mixed up longer than you should
nonpareil - peerless; has no equal (for better of worse)
playfully preceptive sloganization - where you make a game out of reducing general principles to short, attention-getting phrases
pertly pumped up plump - thoughtlessly exaggerated
serried posy of puffery - a crowded assortment of overblown phrases in support of an idea
marginal, deciduously neologistic dissertation - a just barely acceptable piece of writing (like this poem, perhaps) which every once in a while becomes so meaningless that the author sounds psychotic
(back to verse 176)
Merriam-Webster Dictionary
tips and teeters too tiringly toward turning into a terribly tautologous teratological tome - hovers on the brink of becoming nothing better than an abnormally big fat book full of academic nonsense and needless repetition
untenable travail of terrene trivialities - an inexcusable torment of ordinary, commonplace things, so boring that it would make the phone book look like "Lust in the Swamps" by comparison
turbulently troublesome transvaluation - an argument that really upsets your apple cart because it re-evaluates and rejects ideas which you once took for granted (of course, this is unknown to people who habitually run screaming from facts that don’t fit their prejudices)
(back to verse 177)
Merriam-Webster Dictionary
truculent treatise of toplofty trifles - a systematic written argument, very harsh and abrasively assertive in tone, where the author tries to make himself sound like a genius by proving things everyone already knows and nobody cares about anyway
ursine tractate of treacly tripe and taradiddles - a systematic written argument that sounds like what a grizzly bear would write, full of pretentious nonsense that is disgustingly sweet (reflecting the grizzly’s limited intellect, self-importance and love of honey)
torridly teeming with all the rancidly squishy fruitage of renitent rancor ridden with tumid fermentation - passionately overflowing with the rotten results of uncontrollable enmity and swelling agitation
(back to verse 178)
Merriam-Webster Dictionary
plushly padded with a punishing plethora of uncompromising pedanticisms - where you fill your writings with so many simplistic platitudes that your readers all wonder if they should run screaming and become volunteer cadavers for their favorite medical schools (not to exaggerate the point, of course)
comprising pedestrian ponderosities of pigheaded preachment - made of important sounding, but stupidly unimaginative, statements that tell everyone what to do, but which make no allowance for individual circumstances
priggishly puritanical proselytization - where you try to make other people afraid, on moral grounds, of their own shadows
(back to verse 179)
Merriam-Webster Dictionary
claptrap seething with a sopping permeation of paralogismic horsefeathers and plutonian punditry - stupid ideas that sound important and get people excited, as long as their brains can be infected by the deceptive arguments and delusions of opinionated low-life gasbags
panoramic palette of lyrically libelous, though no less lambently luculent, lucubration - a full supply of pleasantly delivered, but hard to invent, lies and insults, on all subjects
(back to verse 180)
Merriam-Webster Dictionary
over-conscientiously preened and primped - the condition in which we find most adolescents of both genders after they spend hours behind locked bathroom doors while various otherwise fully supportive family members have been either yelling and pounding, writhing in agony or calling the fire department
frugally tamped and tightly packed pat with pithy patches of illogically profane yet implacably predicatory prognostication - sections of your writing that get right to the point in predicting what will happen to us if we don’t start behaving ourselves, although given the kind of language you use, you’re the one who’s not behaving himself
(back to verse 181)
Merriam-Webster Dictionary
predictably paced with well-placed periods of progressively pure Pecksniffian pandering - where, just as we expected, you are getting worse and worse at trying to make yourself look good by saying only what we want to hear
pervasively paved with Panglossian poppycock - full of overly optimistic bullpucky
posture a patina of placid pacification - where you give the appearance of trying to make peace (like Adolph Hitler did in the late 1930's, with nice smiles, warm handshakes, kind words, plus lots of tanks, planes and bombs)
(back to verse 182)
Merriam-Webster Dictionary
vilipending - expressing a low opinion of something, or treating it as worthless (what critics do to great works of art, especially if they’re created by you)
reprehending - voicing disapproval
nit-picking - unjustified criticism of little tiny aspects of things (such as speaking ill of Adolf Hitler‘s mustache)
pindlingly paltering with a big billowing bag of disingenuous ploys - acting like a puny little, weak-kneed hypocrite using all kinds of deliberate tactics and tricks for fouling up your opponent
emollient pastiche - where you lessen the intensity of something by adding a variety of elements (like adding turkey and dressing, potatoes and gravy, peas and carrots, candied yams, chocolate milk and lemonade to your normal diet of bread and water)
tart but tasty patois pregnant with inexpiably mendacious elaboration - an oddly fun way of speaking where you weave a tangled web of exaggerations that no one will ever be able to unravel
(back to verse 183)
Merriam-Webster Dictionary
unproven, supposititiously panacean praxis - some kind of untried practical remedy that will supposedly solve all your problems (like getting a head transplant)
shameless shuffling and a sort of shallow shilly-shallying - a style of leadership that is shifty, evasive, and wallows in indecisiveness
runaround - what you get when ever you call Customer Service
unrealizable reconciliation - where apparantly opposing facts will never seem to make sense
ad hoc scrimmages of syncretistic mediation - the battles that arise when you try to make incompatible things work together
(back to verse 184)
Merriam-Webster Dictionary
sumptuous platter of peccantly prickly pitter-patter - where, in tones of light conversation, you utter a wide variety of thoughtlessly stupid remarks
priapic prancing in slaphappy pleonasm - where, being a hopeless "nerd," you nevertheless try to look like a "real man" (pronounced slowly with a slight growl in the voice) by recklessly using more words than you need for saying something
oozing with tropes of sly syllogistic sleight - just full of crafty arguments hidden in figures of speech that sound like double-talk (useful to the reptilian portion of the legal profession)
penchant for prestidigitation - a strong inclination to want to trick people
(back to verse 185)
Merriam-Webster Dictionary
skunking skulduggeries of subterranean subterfuge - where you try to escape your problems through various handy devices like murder, mayhem, larceny, libel, slander and other forms of rudeness
slippery subversion - where nobody can quite tell that it's you who is going around turning all the rules upside down
sequels of sabotage - all the rest of your destructive acts, after your first one
solidly subcelestial dissembling via multi-shaded lies of immensely specious oversimplification - where you manage to lie by focusing only on those facts that are useful to your case and ignoring the rest of the facts that would present a totally different but true story (another useful habit of the bad guys walking around loose in society who happen to be lawyers)
(back to verse 186)
Merriam-Webster Dictionary
lenitively euphuistic rhetoric of awkwardly allusive etiolation - where you say things to try and soothe people’s nerves but your language is weak and indirect
unflappable unfolding, forming and flying of fibs fixed in feckless fawning and foolish assentation - where trying to get along with dishonest fools causes you to act like one yourself
(back to verse 187)
Merriam-Webster Dictionary
laboriously loquacious - where you work much too hard at talking way too much
sloppy and slobbishly slipshod - let’s face it: you’re making a mess
largely lame and long-winded lubrication of transparently snide slurs and smears well tucked into clumsy obscurities of sententious insinuation - where your long blasts of mean-spirited lies and insults are carefully couched in big words that nobody can understand
(back to verse 188)
Merriam-Webster Dictionary
tersely versicular verdure of veritable verbicide - where the economy and expressive efficiency of verse becomes, in your hands, an excellent means of destroying the language
palmary particularity of venturesome ventilation - a great example of taking your life into your own hands by saying what you actually think
untoward awakening of dogged virtuosity in the ambits of loathesomely labyrinthian vermiculation - the unfortunate stirring up of amazing skills in disgustingly complex trickery and deceit
(back to verse 189)
Merriam-Webster Dictionary
vie to varnish volcanic surges of vehemence - trying to see who can look more reasonable in their occasional explosions of immovable will (in other words, to see who can have the biggest nervous breakdown and get away with it)
punitive editorial commination - where you try to punish someone by saying bad things about them
papilionaceous, adroitly dapper dance of dodgery by the accoutrements of deftly duplicitous orchestration - where, very quick and spritely like a butterfly, you act like a coniving, two-faced jerk just to make things happen the way you want them to
(back to verse 190)
Merriam-Webster Dictionary
veil, right up to the very verge of dripping schwarmerei - where you try to cover something over, to the point of using obsessive emotionalism (like changing the subject by moaning and shedding tears)
veristic veneer of verisimilitudinous replication - where you give something an artificially ordinary appearance so people will believe in it (when they probably shouldn’t)
crafty construct of recondite codification - where you’ve made up a system of names for things, which is very clever except nobody can figure it out
all kinds of caricature and spurious characterization - where, in describing things, you use so much poetic license that nothing sounds quite like it really is (in other words, you are telling so many lies that your tongue is going to turn black)
(back to verse 191)
Merriam-Webster Dictionary
imports of vaingloriously vagarious verjuice - where you are so full of yourself that you think you can behave like a fire-breathing fat-head whenever you feel like it
focusing the parameters of pent up vim, vigor and vivification that enkindle the bonfire and stoke up the edacious flames - making perfectly clear, for those who were confused, exactly what everyone is so hopped-up and mad about (not unlike what Hitler did to get enough support to start World War II)
inventions of voguishly vitriolic vituperation - new ways of insulting or slandering people with increased levels of bitterness that fit the times
(back to verse 192)
Merriam-Webster Dictionary
vamp up - to create
fearsomely freakish phobias - where your fears of certain things are so weird that having those fears frightens you as much as the fears themselves
bearish bugaboos - things in your imagination to be afraid of which, in your case, is most things
egregious ebullitions - conspicuously awful, sudden violent outbursts (the way some people sing who shouldn’t)
whizbang razzmatazz - dumb stuff designed to impress you
goody-goody gobbledygook - utter nonsense designed to make the speaker look like he has a halo under his toupé
gale-force gusts of bullying fustigation - the kind of mean spirited insults that you would expect from a pompous wind bag
(back to verse 193)
Merriam-Webster Dictionary
widely concerted campaigns - where everyone joins together to attack a series of projects
virilely vulpine - powerfully crafty (like a fox who eats his spinach)
vigilantly vile - where you work very hard all the time to be truly disgusting
vulturous - like a vulture or any other similar type of human who thrives on the misfortune of others (a comparison could be made to certain lawyers, and people who murder animals just for sport, but we won’t go there)
irrefragably and contageously venomous vexation - where you persecute someone with the kind of poison that makes everyone want to jump on the bandwagon, and then no one can stop it
vertiginous vendetta of general character assassination - a vicious private mission to speedily destroy someone’s personal reputation
(back to verse 194)
Merriam-Webster Dictionary
hiply handy to-do - where, being up on the latest tricks, you create a commotion just to divert attention
recreant hemming and hawing - where you ought to take a stand on an issue, but you keep slithering around it instead
hyaloid ho-humming - what people do when they are trying to look bored and unimpressed, but you can see right through them
honeying with a mellifluously effluent, perfective nisus of enchantingly Pickwickian misrepresentation - where you try to make a terrible story sound good by adding false but sweet sounding, smooth flowing words that people want to believe
(back to verse 195)
Merriam-Webster Dictionary
tetchily tenacious - when you are very irritable and overly sensitive, and you just won’t let go (not unlike an armed psychotic terrorist, or a choir conductor running the rehearsal too long)
intractably inflexible - when you neither bend nor change for anyone
overtly viperous - acting like a snake, and being darned proud of it (Up With Snakes!)
veridically virulent variety of villainous valiance - a truly poisonous kind of twisted and depraved dedication (this helps if you want to be a suicide bomber or a professional musician)
vale of inveterately visceral vengeance - a world of long and deeply felt, but not well thought out, desire to get even
viciously vindictive vilification - where you say awful things about someone, driven by evil desires to destroy him, her or it
(back to verse 196)
Merriam-Webster Dictionary
agonal attempts to allay any manneristic airs of agonistic atticism - where you take great pains to lessen the distress you’re afraid you might inflict on your readers if you try to be funny
ardently bypassing and avoiding any rococo ornamentation of oracular calumniation - trying passionately not to tell any intricate, malicious-yet-authoritative-sounding lies about other people
(back to verse 197)
Merriam-Webster Dictionary
avidly averting any pejorative appellation - where you try hard not to be worthy of the bad names people will probably call you anyway
acrid - very bitter and stinky
tempestuous tide - a tidal wave
full fluviatile amplitude - all the free-flowing fullness
bodily mortifying self-flagellation - where you beat yourself on the back with birch branches (or maybe wet noodles if you haven’t been too naughty)
(back to verse 198)
Merriam-Webster Dictionary
ineludibly inhere to anxieties of inadequacy in unceasing circumspection and self-exploration - it always comes with being afraid (usually too late) that you might not have been minding your manners
for socialization, that would be a slouchy succedaneum - a poor substitute for membership in civilized society
hardly marked by any kind of modesty in the minimization - where, being too cool, you aren't about to start adjusting your behavior (or, to be abstrusely vernacular, being "too cool to cool your jets")
(back to verse 199)
Merriam-Webster Dictionary
impercipiently flibbertigibbety - acting like a scatter-brain without realizing it
hammily niminy-piminy - always wanting to show the world what an overly-refined, light-minded fussbudget you are
disproportionately, purblindly proud and prismatic - having a head too big and fat for your body (so to speak)
orgulously orotund - way over-sized (like William Howard Taft)
inordinately overblown - like a tempest in a tea-pot
farcically vain and vacuously courtly coruscation - where you try too hard to make people laugh with you, so they laugh at you instead
(back to verse 200)
Merriam-Webster Dictionary
pusillanimously pussyfooting squarely into loblollies of scholarly squiggling - where, fearing to make a mistake, you tiptoe straight into an academic swamp of squirming and wriggling over little things, as if you were one of those silly professors-types who are so narrowly focused that they have nothing better to do
agnostic subjectivization - where you base your opinions on personal feelings because you don’t believe there’s any scientific way to determine the truth
pratfalling into potholes - comedically tripping into holes you didn’t think were there, (or tripping over holes you thought were there but aren't)
paratactical mudpuddles of unsalvagability in encumbering equivocation - messes of ungrammatical language that nobody can straighten out, but nobody wants to either, because each person can take your words to mean what ever suits his purpose
(back to verse 201)
Merriam-Webster Dictionary
plowing into philological pits of piddling piffle - the worst examples of trivial nonsense when it comes to the study of human speech
antsy and atwitter with misdirectional fecundation - all excited with brand new, freshly stupid ideas
pitching head first, by demotic imprecision, into parlous pools of polysemous tergiversation - where, using popular figures of speech, you fall head over heels into all kinds of verbal gobbledygook that can be interpreted any way the reader wants
(back to verse 202)
Merriam-Webster Dictionary
undeterrably railing in a rambunctiously unruly romp - going nuts (like Sherman marching through Georgia)
unsparing, rip-roaringly rollicking rampage - really going nuts (like Hitler invading Russia)
froward free-for-all of free-form fisticuffs - like a bar room brawl
dishonorably splanchnic altercation - where people are hitting each other when they should be discussing things instead
(back to verse 203)
Merriam-Webster Dictionary
mercurial hyperkinesis - a condition where you act as if you have ants in your pants
erethic - awfully irritable
apparently nanocerebrally eristic - where you seem to be nutty as a fruitcake
hypertensively vein-popping binges and screaming tirades of exophthalmic fulmination - hysterical fits of anger, when your eyes pop out of your head and you give yourself a stroke
(back to verse 204)
Merriam-Webster Dictionary
superficies - the appearance (of something)
signally sapid validation - where what little evidence there may be that you aren‘t really crazy feels remarkably agreeable to your mind (it would, wouldn’t it?)
little exclusionary self-enhancement - like when you go off and live like a hermit so you can become a better person (good luck)
shunning, unto summary disassociation - where you completely reject something without giving it a chance
(back to verse 205)
Merriam-Webster Dictionary
sovereignly soft-headed - where you are the king or queen of stupidity (or maybe your cranial bones just never fused)
solemnly sophomoric - where you think your worldly experience is worth its weight in gold, but it actually weighs no more than the paper it’s printed on (and you’re also not above using ridiculous metaphors)
sensationally stupid perseveration - where you never know when to let go or give up or stop or cease or desist or retire or withdraw or retreat or . . .
longsome, sappily snooty snits and snivelling stints of viewily primitive behavioral extemporization - where you suddenly act as if you were morally retarded
(back to verse 206)
Merriam-Webster Dictionary
redacting this relatively rebarbative rarefication - where you put your own view of things into writing, which is very high-minded and pretty irritating
compendium - a collection
truncation - what should happen to most books, plays, pieces of music, speeches and poems: a little trimming with the proverbial meat ax
wryly euphonious - where you make something sound better with a little bit of dark humor ("Aauugh!! We’re all going to die!! Ha, ha. Just kidding. Only half of us are going to die.")
overly nourished - when something is given too much care and attention for its own good
rendition of stabbingly sardonic sass - when you really let loose and talk back to someone much more disrespectfully than you ever would if the person were actually present
incondite inculcation - where you try to teach an idea by repeating yourself, but you make an even bigger mess of it by not remembering what you said the first time
(back to verse 207)
Merriam-Webster Dictionary
magniloquently modeled but mannerly mantic jeremiad - where you angrily boss people around, trying to overwhelm them with your intelligence, and yet somehow you actually manage to sound half-human and not too stupid
suit of precipitously incremental incrimination - where you list your complaints against someone, and each item is worse than the last one
opulent, if oppresively officious, piebald epopee - where you write a big, fancy, wide-ranging poem which makes people mad because it tells them what to do, but it uses so many big words that most people don't realize how offended they really should be
awfully orphic ode of expository dilation - a poem written by someone who sounds like he's high on drugs and thinks he has the answers to all of life's questions
(back to verse 208)
Merriam-Webster Dictionary
mealy microsphere - a tiny little world that might have a few good things in it, but not many
so-called "serious" modern music - certain styles of new music taken very seriously by their living or newly dead composers, much less so by those poor souls who are paid (bribed) to play it, and not at all by others who love and understand real music that speaks to mentally healthy human beings
flaccid mettle in the fetters of its festering fettle - it stinks because it is rotting
mingy, saprogenically self-ensorcelled partisanship - where, because you’ve turned your brain into a gelatinous heap of intellectual mush and moral corruption, you give your ridiculously self-admiring and self-serving support to "the cause" (whatever that is this week)
nice-nelly soul-slaughtering internecine politicization - where you forget what’s good for the group as you murder your own and everyone else’s spirit by artfully manipulating people and relationships
(back to verse 209)
Merriam-Webster Dictionary
rightly derisive popular prejudicial assignation to ivory-tower territoriality - where the most people realize that a particular subject can be of interest only to a pack of petty-minded intellectual snobs who are completely out of touch with reality
ritual sacralization of hoary hocus-pocus nose-up academic elitism - where pompous fools ceremoniously make sacred the old tradition of intellectually intimidating people through smoke and mirrors and other show business tricks
ungraciously inegalitarian strutting and stratification - trying to make a big show of lording it over others because, amazingly, you somehow think you’re better than they are
(back to verse 210)
Merriam-Webster Dictionary
volubly abets and beatifies its own brand of bottomless bunk - loudly promotes it's own kind of horrible music
cultish, ramshackle racket of gratuitous dissonance - the fruits of those intellectual goof-balls who think it's okay to write ugly music
shoddy - the worksmanship of a slob
ear-slamming sham of clashing slatternly slathers - so-called music which is really just a deafening hoax comprising great disorderly quantities of noise
enshrining flagitious noise in scandalous legitimization - where, by means that smell like an unrefrigerated fish market in the desert, you preserve and promote bad music as if it deserves a place in polite society
(back to verse 211)
Merriam-Webster Dictionary
collusively countenances the disreputable business - when criminals get together and agree to let something happen
sickly salable - where you can sell something as long as the buyers are out of their minds
insolubly faddish fixation - where everyone seems obsessed with something and there’s no way you can bring them to their senses
pointless atrocities of analytical pettifoggery - horrible abominations where people pick things to pieces trying to understand them, but it all amounts to arguing over nothing
heartlessly vivisectional anatomization - where in trying to analyze a piece of music you do what amounts to an autopsy before the subject is dead
(back to verse 212)
Merriam-Webster Dictionary
cavil and prate in a positively painful plaint - to annoy everyone with my endless trivial complaints
rapturous profusion of inappropriate delation - where you get completely carried away in your negative comments
injudiciously loose and jovial gesticulation - making so many wild hand gestures that it won’t be long before you put your thumb up somebody's nose
jabber, jaw, gibber and rag in prosaic prolongation - to not know when to stop talking
(back to verse 213)
Merriam-Webster Dictionary
grouchily gabble, grumble, gripe, and just plain grumpily grouse - getting your knickers in a twist, or forgetting to take your medication and otherwise acting like Daffy Duck in a bad mood
grandstanding in a garbled prodigality of turgid gasconade - where you do so much big-chested boasting that you can’t keep your story straight (or your shirt buttoned)
sportive prolixity - where you make a game out of using more words than necessary
splurges of patently pyrotechnical peroration - where you are obviously showing off your sportive prolixity (see above)
(back to verse 214)
Merriam-Webster Dictionary
rattle and prattle - to make noises that sound almost like speech
beyond the pale - outrageous and inexcusable
breathlessly seamless parlance - the way some people talk when they won’t even interrupt themselves to breathe, and you’re just waiting for them to turn blue and fall over in a faint so you can say something
acutely creepy, cryingly curt, discourteously churlish, catty and cruelly cudgeling castigation - saying really nasty things to someone, verbally beating them over the head with a club
(back to verse 215)
Merriam-Webster Dictionary
putter - to work randomly and without aim, as if you were employed at the U.S. Department of Immigration and Naturalization, or at the FBI or the CIA
drably dabbling in doggerel - what actually happens when most of us try to write poetry
dribbling dim-witted drivel - speaking things of such limited import, and in such a manner, as to suggest drooling like a baby
duly suggestive of sybaritic stupor - where you look like you have sought the gratification of your bodily appetites to the point that nothing looks good anymore
implausible preoccupation - where it's believable what you can’t stop thinking and talking about
a bent for paramnesiac somnambulation - when you tend to walk around in your sleep and not remember anything you did
(back to verse 216)
Merriam-Webster Dictionary
overly gregarious and gagably garrulous - so friendly and talkative that people want to fit you for a cement head covering
pop off over the top - when you mouth-off to the point that people want to punch you in the nose
flipflop - when you suddenly change direction
flintily flout - when you just won’t quit poking fun at something
flaunting flotsam - when you throw a whole bunch of nonsense into the public’s face and say "Here, put this into your pipes and smoke it!"
unsteady streaks and stammering swaggers of cavalierly catachrestical intoxication - where you’re so intrigued with your own voice that you can’t get your words out straight
(back to verse 217)
Merriam-Webster Dictionary
grammatical swampland, a mirthfully murky mire - where you have fun writing something so full of technical problems that no English teacher could ever fix it without simply burning it
of apocryphal ambages, an uncountable compilation not the least bit parsimonious in predatory pranks and roguish antics of fanatical argumentation - when, as a last resort before bloodshed and being carried away by men in white coats, you talk in circles and otherwise try to trick and confuse people into accepting your wacky arguments
(back to verse 218)
Merriam-Webster Dictionary
deflecting this already digressive divertimento - leading this little poem off course (as if it ever was on course)
garden of gongoristic esoterica - a richly cultivated manner of speaking where you sound like you’ve been asleep for 300 years and your language is so antiquated that nobody can understand you now
by ordination - when you are doing it on purpose
impracticalities of sesquipedalian jugglery - where you use bigger words than you can handle correctly, but you get away with it because no one else knows what they mean either
gingerly jest and folly-filled jollification - where you have fun kidding around and making a fool of yourself
(back to verse 219)
Merriam-Webster Dictionary
weirdly wrought waxings of jocular jape - when you are the only one who thinks you are funny, and no one can tell how or why you come up with what you say
jumble of jabbering jive in gibing tribulation - where you try to irritate us with such unintelligible babblings that, even if we could hear them, we still wouldn’t understand them, and if we could, we’d wish we couldn’t
cracked and crooked crucible of pneumatological quackery - where you severely test out patience and sanity with your ignorant references to the supernatural
noxious nimiety of scarily scarifying execration - a morally corrupting excess of soul-shredding insults
(back to verse 220)
Merriam-Webster Dictionary
apparently non compos mentis - seeming to be out of my mind (I know - how can you tell?)
a bit berserk shying backhanded brickbats of scathing adjudication - getting carried away with stupid compliments to everybody which, when they think about them, sound more like mean-spirited, judgmental insults
bitterly berating, betimes with a bit of bruising burlesque, our baleful bane of broad-minded barbarization - attacking, through edgy humor, the way we’ve opened our minds so wide that everything has fallen out of them, and we’ve lost the moorings of our civilization
(back to verse 221)
Merriam-Webster Dictionary
lacking longanimity - being impatient
belabor loud loutish language - to criticize the way people yell at each other
sluggardly slobberings of logorrheic lobotomization - the things people say that make you think they’ve had the thinking part of their brains surgically removed
misological bearings born of ideological bricolage - where, having a personal philosophy based on whatever pleases you at the time, you say things that reveal your hatred of rational thinking
panning - severely criticizing
sorry scenes of phraseological permutation - regrettable depths to which people have taken their misuse of the English language
(back to verse 222)
Merriam-Webster Dictionary
quibbling in brumal blizzards of bloated blither and blabber - where you purposely avoid the point of the argument by complaining about little details in a storm of goofy nonsense
bollix of squabbles blowing with biting brio - the other guy's fit of noisy arguments about nothing, which feel to you like a harsh wind in your face
botheration of bluntly blurted blats and bleats of bilious blue burble - some drunks get happy, some get sappy, and some get scrappy. ( I actually made that up!) The scrappy ones (these) are given to angry profanities and other abusive expressions
beligerant blarney brimming with the unblenching exaltation - where your shameless self-praise and congratulation makes people want to knock your block off
(back to verse 223)
Merriam-Webster Dictionary
befittingly unbottled caboodle of Byzantine baloney - confusing nonsense running amok in a way that reflects the circumstances (like the U.S. tax code, considering it was written by congress)
boringly barren babble - most conversations at parties and company staff meetings
tarnishing tyrannization of bumptious bobberies - the painful crushing feeling you get when people engulf you in their own private uproars
barefaced bonhomous bosh - where you speak a lot of good-natured foolishness without feeling the need to wear a paper bag over your head
unblushing bluffs of Bunyanesque prevarication - where without any embarrassment you tell whoppers and tall tales so enormous that they belong in the annals of folklore
(back to verse 224)
Merriam-Webster Dictionary
batrachian Beelzebub - an agent of the devil, and looks like a toad (well, nobody’s perfect)
bellow and blast point blank at the blistering blitz of blatant bilge, in vibrant verbalization - to you use a lot of colorful language expressing your anger at the bombardment of so many stupid ideas
bristling and bridling - where you get mad enough to punch somebody (hey, whatever helps)
bray and bark at the burly brabble in lancinating barbs banking on bathetic exploitation - when you yell and carry on against the many arguments and cutting remarks that are used only to manipulate people’s feelings
(back to verse 225)

Merriam-Webster Dictionary
broadly and blaringly bemoaning all the badly bodacious bodement of our booze-besoden bedazzled bamboozlement - expressing grief everywhere you go about the awful things that will befall us if we don’t stop drugging ourselves into moral confusion and fascination with naughty things
unmeasured, morose and mawkishly maudlin moans and groans - where I mourn and complain with such pathetic effect that it makes you want to cry
elegiac threnodies of baroque lamentation - sorrowful songs, flamboyant wailing and chest beating
(back to verse 226)
Merriam-Webster Dictionary
gnash, bash and rashly lash - to really let ‘em have it
running rehash - where you try to make the same old thing look different, but it never does
obbligato of boisterously blasphemous incantation - the constant background of profane slogans, mottos, and other expressions enthusiastically designed to manipulate people’s reactions
lambasting the bludgeoning barrage of blackguardly blatherskite - attacking the foul-mouthed stupidity that seems to keep beating us over the head
(back to verse 227)
Merriam-Webster Dictionary
deem - to judge
astigmatic want - where you need something because you’re too dumb or short-sighted to have provided it for yourself
low degree of impugnable insufficiency - a minor short-coming, but it's still your fault
correctly condign Comstockery - appropriately strict censorship
bows to benignantly butyraceous bowdlerization - where, in a sneaky manner, you do a good thing by removing the vulgar parts
(back to verse 228)
Merriam-Webster Dictionary
fustily fuliginous - where your meaning is unclear because the only way you know how to express yourself is stiff and old-fashioned
bulging with blackish broodings - full of gloomy thoughts
vade mecum - Latin for "a handy dandy ready reference book"
as it were - King’s English for "sort of"
captious contrivance - a thing or situation you create just to make people mad (like invading a country or slurping your soup)
dunderheaded doings of daringly devious derivation - where you do really dumb things just to be different (and make people wonder why you’re still walking around loose)
(back to verse 229)
Merriam-Webster Dictionary
slightly obscure entanglement of feloniously elliptical, spikey, briery blandishments - where you make it hard for people to tell that they’re actually playing into your campaign to change their minds, because you’re a pathological liar and ought to be locked up (no offense)
big bulking bogey - something that destroys your peace of mind and seems to grow and expand like an invisible gelatinous blob from outer space living inside your head (maybe that’s just your brain)
boneheaded boondoggle - what comes out of congress most times they do anything
albeit - highfalutin for "even though"
artfully anfractuous articulation - where what you’re saying makes no sense, but you’ve managed to fool us by making it sound to complicated and beautiful that we don‘t want to admit how confused we are
(back to verse 230)
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us lumpen pilgrims - we poor weary exiles from our heavenly home, traveling through the lone and dreary world
groggily groping like country bumpkins lost in the Land of the Philistines - like supposedly unsophisticated folks with genuine values, up in the night, blindly trying to find their way in a strange world of artless and brainless materialism
agreeably gruntle any grain of greed - satisfying your slightest wish to accumulate stuff
vanquishing any vestigial need for expiation - getting rid of any lingering need to make up for anything
(back to verse 231)
Merriam-Webster Dictionary
educe the frangible augury - to bring to our attention a delicate foreshadowing of the future (like how the stewardess calmly tells you to remove your shoes and glasses and put your head between your knees before the airplane crashes)
burgeoning edulcoration - an ever growing influence that softens the harshness of things (like perfumed diesel exhaust, cars and roads made of soft rubber, and a federal law requiring that everyone say "please" and "thank you")
auspicious aspect for the prospective amplification of its anesthetization - where something about the situation looks like it just might make us unconscious of what’s happening
attenuation - reducing the problem
(back to verse 232)
Merriam-Webster Dictionary
pageant of sacerdotal protreptics - the big production you make of dispensing knowledge as if you are the only one who knows anything
aphotic helotry to nomothetic haruspicy - the intellectual darkness of slavery to methods of discovery that are on a level with ancient Romans who based their predictions on the inspections of animal guts
polymorphously hopping hobgoblins - disturbing reminders, in various forms, of things you’d rather forget
prescriptive nagging - where you are constantly being told "Do it this way because this is how we've always done it"
practices of gorgonizing classroom regimentation - certain ways of teaching that make everyone afraid to think for themselves
(back to verse 233)
Merriam-Webster Dictionary
grifters - thieves, embezzlers, corporate CEO's and others who take pay for services not rendered
Hunnish gerents - those who rule or manage after the model of Attila the Hun
forlorn servitude - when you find it depressing to feel like somebody’s slave
responsive sequacity - answering with total submissiveness
resultant ruffles of real resentment riding on ripples of breezily insolent, scoffing subvocalization - when you mutter nasty things about the slave-driver, under your breath
(back to verse 234)
Merriam-Webster Dictionary
yet paint a funereal pall - continue to take all the fun out of things
horizons where still haunt the undead antediluvian incubi - things that still give you nightmares
despicably proscriptive tyrants and despots - the people in charge who go way too far in bossing others around (like Hitler and Stalin did)
indefeasibly repressive, deathly domination - where they beat you down and take over your brain
(back to verse 235)
Merriam-Webster Dictionary
routinely psychopathic martinets - your usual run-of-the-mill heartless, mindless and unimaginative nerds and functionaries who hide behind strict adherence to the rules (like Nazi war criminals, incompetent middle-managers and others who find it too frightening to act like human beings)
autistically avaricious avatars of their own repugnant delusion - people who have become the personal embodiments, pathetic living results, of their own disgusting ideas, chief among which is that the world revolves around them
green-eyed guardians of graft - protectors of corruption who are always trying to get a bigger piece of it themselves
priestly purveyors of ersatz education - the worst kind of teachers, who consider themselves qualified just because they went to college and got a degree
(back to verse 236)
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knavishly insulted by precocious young talent - where a teacher finds his little world crumbling once the student shows he has more talent than the teacher
mysteriously nimble gift of inchoate genius - amazing talent not yet developed (possessed by most mothers’ children)
disclamation - denial; rejection
paranoically proffer, in lieu of their dutifully solicitous care and cultivation - where you give about as much as we would expect of you, instead of what a mentally healthy person in your position would give
(back to verse 237)
Merriam-Webster Dictionary
armamentarium of Machiavellian supression - all possible sneaky, underhanded ways to keep a person down
endearing commendation - kind words of support that generate love and loyalty
furtive abuse by procrustean bureaucracy - the awful things you secretly do to people by resorting to the power of official authority and fixed rules, which by their very nature take no account of individual needs
snobby snubbery - where you think you are better than someone else, so instead of accepting your superiority with gracious humility and service, you ignore him
sneering stultification - scornfully smiling while making someone feel like they would better serve humanity by jumping off a bridge
(back to verse 238)
Merriam-Webster Dictionary
coyly executed - where you take pride in causing something to happen so that no one knows you did it until it’s too late
gamily guiltless guise - a disgustingly misleading appearance of human decency
Brahmanic poise - where you can’t be ruffled because you are so full of lofty intelligence and cultural refinement (yeah, right)
sniffy sanctimonious unction - where you think you’re the cat’s pajamas looking all holy and full of righteous concern for others
smiling, smarmy visage of demonically cold-blooded burking - the disgustingly happy face you attach to the horrible deeds by which you ultimately keep someone squashed in enforced inactivity
agile authoritarian strangulation - where they’re very skillful at using their authority over you to squeeze the life out of you
(back to verse 239)
Merriam-Webster Dictionary
cankerous contribution to the horrible heft of history's stomping hobnail jackboots - soul-rotting participation in the atrocities of history committed by power-hungry maniacs, and the sub-human maggots who feed on them, against the innocent peace-loving masses of humanity (in other words, stepping a little too hard on people’s toes) (or their faces)
ad hominem assault - where instead of arguing against a person’s ideas, you call him an idiot
war of attrition waged in deep dank dungeons of dispiteous deprecation - the process by which the heartless and cruel ways of the world so often cause good people to feel worthless and give up
(back to verse 240)
Merriam-Webster Dictionary
louche, libertine lunacy of those loopy loons - the wacky adventures of goofy persons who don’t believe in human decency or morality
unenlightened luminaries of plebeian schlock and maculation - those rich and famous (and usually empty-headed) human icons of popular culture; the unashamed standard-bearers of all things coarse and degrading
licentious gurus leering through a criminous crock - those expert leaders of popular adolescent degeneracy who know what they’re doing and laugh all the way to the bank
superbly fetching but infernally phony sustentation - where the support for an ideal may be very alluring but is diabolically deceiving
(back to verse 241)
Merriam-Webster Dictionary
physiological contortion - when a rock star acts like he has a swarm of bees in his undershirt
humoral destabilization by the stylizing of such graphically associative gyration - where you make everyone even more emotionally unstable than they already have to be to enjoy this sort of thing, by habitually resorting to distorted physical references to things we shouldn't discuss in polite company
pulverizing, plaster-cracking, ear-splitting ambiance - an atmosphere so noisy that your brain rattles and you think your head is going to crack right down the middle
marketably subcortical, animalistic titillation - a source of artificial arousal so base and primitive that you can actually get rich by selling it
(back to verse 242)
Merriam-Webster Dictionary
mindlessly miscarried minions - like sheep who bark up the wrong tree(!?)
diseased economic preponderation - where a group spends enough money to gain corrosive power over our culture (referring to the commercial market place even more than to congressional lobbyists)
eupeptically reeling religiopanegyrics - where you throw yourself on the ground, swooning and fainting in rapturous, ecstatic hero-worship
erosively grungy, encomiastic emulation - where people turn into complete slobs in the conviction that imitation is the sincerest form of flattery (and often the dumbest)
(back to verse 243)
Merriam-Webster Dictionary
feed our lazily lurdane and preciously latitudinarian disorganization - to help us fall deeper into our thoughtless, lazy, "anything-goes" state of moral confusion
consumable fundament of unfiltered fulsome filth - the basic principle behind all the forms of vice and moral corruption which are readily available for the enjoyment of people who want to destroy themselves
insatiable apetence for succulent vulgarization - our bottomless appetite for delicious spiritual poison
(back to verse 244)
Merriam-Webster Dictionary
optative opus - a piece of work that expresses a desire for something to happen
opines obviously not, nor uptightly oppugns with deontological thunderation - certainly is not too pushy about it
niggles with natty nips - where you try to be smart and funny while you argue over dumb little things
aphoristic non sequiturs - where you try to make cute little sayings to explain big ideas, but they have nothing to do with the subject
gamely gimps with platitudinal ossification - bravely keeps limping along with statements that are stiff, old-fashioned and meaningless
(back to verse 245)
Merriam-Webster Dictionary
traduces with any sort of impish impartation of unkind or inclemently impudent imprecation - has a swell time spreading malicious lies without any mercy or regard for the person being destroyed
inveigles, feints or finagles with fallacious didactics or any chic shibboleths of subreptitious allegation - where you try to get your own way with phony arguments and nasty lies against others
(back to verse 246)
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absence of malice - no intention to hurt anyone
glibly adversarial with platonic obliquities of extortive evasion - where you always seem to be confusing the issue with all kinds of impractical theories that we can’t understand, just to make us give in from sheer exhaustion
glumly inveigh with distressingly dry, dull discrepantly discursive disgraces of deviation - gloomily complaining and protesting, rambling on and on completely off the subject, often changing your mind and contradicting things you have said earlier (not that we can remember what you’ve said)
(back to verse 247)
Merriam-Webster Dictionary
outrage by the ordure of odious obloquy - to make people mad with your morally degraded and hatefully abusive language
stiff and stubbornly scrappy impulsions of defiance against any supposedly imposing standard of self-regulation - where you have a wild, automatic "knee-jerk" reaction against the mere thought of ruining your life-style with any kind of self-control
(back to verse 248)
Merriam-Webster Dictionary
willed to be an unwieldy, wild and wooly wail whose warp and woof is to widely wiggle and waffle - where you fully intend to turn this into a hair-raising complaint, but basically you have no idea what you are complaining about - so no one else does either
rickety gammon - a speech which intends to deceive, but probably won’t
indefensibe diatribe - where you have no excuse for carrying on like that
ignorant, extraordinarily illiberal incarnation - another of your wacky ideas brought to life
(back to verse 249)
Merriam-Webster Dictionary
rapacious advocacy by the dialectic distortion of occult logomachies - being so eager to make your point that you resort to twisted reasoning and never-before-imagined arguments about the meaning of words
donnish dogmatization in a doltishly dithyrambic, knockdown dither - trying to set down the law as if you were some fat-headed "teacher-type" having a nervous breakdown over some minor point of your own official doctrine
obtrusion of Olympian obnubilation - the interference of a huge cover-up
(back to verse 250)
Merriam-Webster Dictionary
dismally undiplomatic - where you show a special gift for turning friends into enemies
hurtfully impolitic - where you do harm to others by acting without thinking
insensitively incendiary bomb - something you say that is so hurtful it is likely to explode someone’s emotions into flames
intensely incensing - makes people angry enough to want to beat vigorously upon your upper torso and head
ontically operose - where things are tiresome and tedious as opposed to how those in charge tell us they are
assertively assumptive avouchment of the adaptation - where you absolutely insist that it’s okay to declare something acceptable if circumstances make it convenient or pleasurable
(back to verse 251)
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adolescently antipodean and freely factitious catholicity - where you go to great lengths to show how open-minded you can be, just for the fun of being rebellious
oleaginous oscillation - trying to please everyone, but pleasing no one, because you are constantly changing your mind
affords more than a few unforgettable frets and flowery flourishes of paradigmatic reversal and confounding confutation - brings on many upheavals of disillusionment and confusion
(back to verse 252)
Merriam-Webster Dictionary
pedagogically eccentric peccadillo - an odd personal way of teaching
lapses of slightly less than lapidarian exactitude - where you get all confused and forget what you’re doing (as opposed to performing with the precision and concentration required of precious stone cutters)
hypertrophic assemblage of philoprogenitive periphrasis - a big mess of writing where one instance of using more words than necessary leads to another and yet another (in other words, your excess words keep having babies)
cosmetically quirky, epigrammatic conglomeration - a collection of witty sayings that seem odd at first glance
(back to verse 253)
Merriam-Webster Dictionary
departure from oneirically noumenal divarication - moving away from that most common type of disagreement which is based solely on things you imagine (most people agree on much more than they ever acknowledge because it gets in the way of their hostilities)
insignificantly extraneous excesses - where you go hog-wild in little ways that don’t really matter
mites of ignescent ire - teensy, eensy beensy bits of explosive anger
(back to verse 254)
Merriam-Webster Dictionary
evince a piecemeal pattern of nugatory nuance - to show that every now and then there are some clever, but unimportant, subtleties thrown in
meerest, most fleetingly diaphanous, shade or shadow of picaresque rebellion and pique - where it’s hardly noticeable that you do lots of rotten things and are mad at the world because you’re a psychopath who ought to be locked in a rubber room
intimation - a delicate suggestion or hint of something
(back to verse 255)
Merriam-Webster Dictionary
vaporously misanthropic - where you have hardly any hatred at all for everybody in the world
spec, scintilla, or muffled mini-mote, or halting half-hint of tabasco - a rather small amount of emotional heat
surly ill will - what you could expect from the IRS if you made a joke about not paying your taxes
overweening, oafishly obstreperous objurgation - when some pompous know-it-all criticizes you with a harshness that only shows he is too clumsy and stupid to have any self-control
(back to verse 256)
Merriam-Webster Dictionary
spankingly sparky, briskly spluttering spiel spryly spun as a first rate, spiffy specimen of premonitory specification - a very energetic speech that serves as a warning
precautionary conjuration - a solemn appeal to be careful
assiduously obtunded and buffered with an obligatory budget of meticulously minced moralization - where you try hard not to be so offensive as to clearly state what is right and what is wrong
(back to verse 257)
Merriam-Webster Dictionary
multifaceted yet miniscule opusculum - something you've produced that is very small yet has many sides to it
incisively mordant - describes an idea that punches you in the nose
furbished and fused, fulgently fraught and fuddled, frankly for fun, with a few forgivably frisky, effetely frolicsome frills - loaded up with lots of fun stuff
favorably fungible feats of fervently facetious alliteration - where you repeat the initial sounds in a string of words, and the trick of actually doing it is more important than the strict meaning of the words, because your main purpose is to have fun
(back to verse 258)
Merriam-Webster Dictionary
mostly meekly mannered, if muzzled, mustering of murmurous mutterings - a purposely mild collection of complaints (or, an ungrueling grundle of grumblings)
middling, mildly mythical manufacture - something less than outstanding that you made up in your mind
mountainous melange of manifoldly mansuetudinous mien - a huge mixture of odd elements that all reveal your gentle approach to things
of plain exoterica, a mean monumentalization - where you do a great job of preserving your ideas by writing them down
(back to verse 259)
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Great Unwashed - your basic, ignorant masses of people (at least according to you)
enigmatic entreaty - a request that no one can understand
propounded for the cognoscenti in florid arabesques of wheedling placation and tactical understatement - put forth, for those who supposedly know better, using intricacies of flowery flattery, being careful not to state all of the truth and make anyone mad
sugar the transportation of such a categorically apodictic adjuration - to make it easier for people to swallow the bitter pill of such absolutely certain advice
(back to verse 260)
Merriam-Webster Dictionary
rally ourselves to raise a really unforgettable ruckus - to stage a riot
rousting a razzle-dazzle ravishing reformation - causing a change that will knock everyone’s socks off (and you hope they all have clean feet)
inevitably, we rouse a royally ringing reification - as sure as ducks don’t have lips, we very noticeably turn an idea into reality
turbulent tintinnabulation of a stupendous remonstration - a wonderfully huge protest that rings out like wild bells
(back to verse 261)
Merriam-Webster Dictionary
pouncing and trouncing with an all-out allocation of inexhaustibly vivacious nerve and evangelical verve - where you fearlessly jump upon something, with all your might, and totally clobber it
boldly rebuffing, by dashing and expansively thrashing with all available audacities of affective animation - what a certain high school music theory teacher did to most of my homework, just because he didn't appreciate my sense of humor
(back to verse 262)
Merriam-Webster Dictionary
mantras of mystical mush and mephitic malarkey - mottos, slogans and sayings full of unintelligible drivel and foul nonsense (a true stench in the nostrils of the intellect)
installation and insincerely vaunted veneration - where you put something in place and then make a show of worshippng it
pharisaically pea-brained, malignantly broken down - like people whose pride actually makes them stupid, and they pull everyone around them down to their own levels of destructive ineptitude
elementally murderous maladministration - the normal state of affairs which, given the way things are run, will eventually kill us
(back to verse 263)
Merriam-Webster Dictionary
nightmarish mishmash of mortally mesmeric muses - the awful cesspool of supposed inspirations that hypnotize people into selling their souls
gaseous mentorings of mental mummery - the murky inspirations that lead to such things as black magic and voodoo, as well as to certain religions that practice hatred and murder and whose idea of heaven is to be served and sensually gratified by 77 virgins instead of having endless freedom to love and serve others, to the murder of unborn babies as a means of birth-control, to the composing of ugly music, and to anything else that is uncivilized
mumbo jumbo - incomprehensible, non-sensical thought processes
hotheaded hammerings of hollow hypnoid hooey - where you get worked up into a lather trying to promote the meaningless nonsense you made up in your sleep
long-faced hucksterings of somnifacient cerebration - where looking all serious, you try to sell us ideas that are putting us to sleep
(back to verse 264)
Merriam-Webster Dictionary
formal canonization of a cosmic quantitation - where you make up laws governing the over-all scheme of things (pretty good, considering Einstein tried and failed with his Unified Field Theory)
thus forging a necessarily epiphanic idealization - bringing into concrete reality an idea that began as a startling intuition, as if from outside yourself, as if by genuine inspiration
incumbency of our mission, our operational organization to reorder the activation of our messianic obligation - the responsibility we have to get our act together
(back to verse 265)
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individually effloresce with artesian effervescence - to brightly sparkle, all by ourselves (does not mean dressing like Liberace)
sparkling impersonation - where, in order to gain the qualities you want, you pretend you already have them (as when you tell a young piano student to pretend he is Rubinstein or Horowitz, and "now, as part of your pretending, play the piano just like he did")
parturient percolation which forever effects an unvarying affluence of emanation - that liveliness in the process of artistic creation that really puts you on a roll so you won't stop before you're finished
exercise of every exorcistic manifestation - everything we do to free ourselves from the dumb old ways of getting along
(back to verse 266)
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transcendental thinking - using our imagination (thinking outside the box, virtically)
ascensive awareness - where, more and more, you actually know what’s happening
ecliptic illumination of crepuscular contemplation - the blinding flashes of brilliance that accompany your deepest thinking during the golden twilight as day quietly fades into night
self-subdual in vespertine ponderings - your spiritual aspirations taking pre-eminence over your bodily appetites in the sobering darkness of night
fanciful flights of pleasurably astral meditation - where your daydreams give you the delicious sensation of leaving your body
(back to verse 267)
Merriam-Webster Dictionary
communicable, appropriately transmissible reverie - every dream that you are able to share with others without getting slapped
resulting from luxuriation in refringent rumination - what comes from relaxing in a big easy chair and chewing your food inside a big refrigerator. Just kidding. Actually, it’s what comes from carefully thinking about things through the broadening lens of your own experience
newly numinous gifts of magnification from overflowing fountains of spontaneous inspiration - bits of insight that are suddenly more spiritual, among the flashes of light that keep flooding your mind
(back to verse 268)
Merriam-Webster Dictionary
bogged and boggled, slogging hobbled - the way a soldier in combat, a human cannon ball, or a mother with several small children feels after a long day
outright brouhahas of busily boorish bungling - where you have lots of bureaucratic in-fighting caused by over-bearing managers who don't know what they're doing
half-mummified under tons of such terrestrial offal as deadening old propaedeutics of Delphic antiquation - where you are feeling dried up and smothered under all kinds of old ideas that once seemed pretty good, but no longer make any sense
(back to verse 269)
Merriam-Webster Dictionary
effectually iconoclastic - serves the purpose of attacking common beliefs
frigorifically cataclysmic implication - something that suggests chilling upheaval, demolition and disaster (like when a 3-year-old boy wakes up too early from his nap)
panplanetary quake; a dire seismic shattering - when the whole world breaks apart
inarguably earnest orgy of eruptive extirpation - where there’s no denying the sincerity of our belief in having as much fun as possible by blowing up and destroying things any way we can
(back to verse 270)
Merriam-Webster Dictionary
inextricable taproots of the metaphysical Gordian knot - the very foundation of what’s wrong with everything
gravely grinding, ghastly grubby, ungirdedly galloping gumbo - a really ugly, horrible blob rolling ever faster down the hill of life gobbling up everything in its path
disagreeably gross, grandly gargantuan gallimaufry - a hodge-podge that isn’t very pretty or petite
whole gruesomely gust-gutting gyve of irritation - all the shackles of annoyance that take the fun out of things
(back to verse 271)
Merriam-Webster Dictionary
galling gutter school of allowable diableries - the apalling tradition we have of not bothering ourselves when evil rears its ugly head
epigonous hacking in art-miserly, hierodulic simulation - where you pretend to be an artist, but your work has little to do with art because you prostitute your talent for wealth and fame
much less worldly - much less popular
ergo much less lucrative - therefore it makes much less money
much more respectable manner of musical creation - but does a better job of serving art, feeding the soul and blessing mankind
(back to verse 272)
Merriam-Webster Dictionary
adequately echo, with effortless concinnity in peals upon trolling peals of plangent effusion, in outpouring paeans of resemblant reciprocation to effulgently sympathetic rounds of reverberation - to do a reasonable job answering with songs equally joyous which are set in motion as a natural response to all the brilliant vibrations bouncing around
(back to verse 273)
Merriam-Webster Dictionary
unassailable ascendency of our imposing harmonization - the unstoppable rise in importance of our huge mutual agreement
skyward, broadly synesthetic sunlit sweep - the upward movement of separate elements coming together
overarching broadcast - the main thing we’re saying
matutinal declaration - an early, preliminary statement
seminal compact - our original promise to each other, which will now be the start of great things
adamantine affirmation - our unyielding declaration
(back to verse 274)
Merriam-Webster Dictionary
commandingly plenary promise - a promise made in such strong terms that you can’t help being impressed
incomprehensibly magnificent endowment of omnificent empowerment - a bestowal of such wide authority that it blows your mind
fueling the thrust of this, our colorific anointing - giving power and purpose to this vivid calling from God
heuristic graduation - where being thrust into a higher realm helps us to learn a great deal more than we could before
(back to verse 275)
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cerulean - the color of the deep blue sky
gorgeously pristine, celestial ethereality - magnificently unspoiled heavenly refinement (how babies start out in life until we get our hands on them)
freshly fertile magic of millennial manumission - the creativity that bursts forth when we are released from slavery to a state of happiness and human perfection (the worker's image of retirement)
benificent emancipation - where we are set free, and it’s for our own good
(back to verse 276)
Merriam-Webster Dictionary
enabling the refreshment, renewal and revisitation - making possible the return (of something) in better shape than it was before
very most engagingly sonorous redintegration of our ever annoyance-responsive, long-lurking, peeve-goaded, twisted intransigency of a defining desideration - where beautiful sounds bring certain old perverted desires and driving angers flooding back to remind us of what savages we once were
(back to verse 277)
Merriam-Webster Dictionary
gladsome revenge by the otherwise goodly perpetration of coltish recalcitrance and grinning gladiatorial defiance - pay-back time as you happily refuse to follow stupid old rules you’ve been taught
smartly smirking gusto of featly insubordination - having a wonderful time finding new and better ways to defy old peddlers of junky ideas
(back to verse 278)
Merriam-Webster Dictionary
growling, glowering, glaringly gormless ninnyhammers - stupid simpletons who try to look intimidating and seem important by acting as if they are mad all the time
slavering, slithering - drooling and sliding back and forth like a snake (the kind that drools, of course)
slick snickering snollygosters - shrewd, unprincipled people who somehow manage not to look like depraved idiots when they laugh at you behind your back
eclectically preferential perfidies of machination - any kind of dirty trick with which they can stab you in the back
(back to verse 279)
Merriam-Webster Dictionary
firsthand accounting from internalization, even unto the periodically exanthematic reanimation, of capacious grieving right to the brink of lacrimation in the pains of my own personal primary observation - told, having lived through horrors that keep coming back to your mind like eruptive diseases and make you want to cry
(back to verse 280)
Merriam-Webster Dictionary
seek to seduce their trophy trails of toadying sycophants to crescively ecstatic thralls begetting truckling subjugation - trying to lure their mindless worshipers down into increasingly uncontrolled emotions until they become willing slaves
doughtily cosset and humbug - where, no matter what, you never stop pampering people so it's easier to deceive them
omnifarious methodologies of deliberate depredation - any and all schools of thought on how best to plunder and ravage
(back to verse 281)
Merriam-Webster Dictionary
cantankerous old clods, cranks and costively crabby crackpots - fanatical nut cases, slow thinkers who behave like they’re walking around naked in a cactus patch
impassable passel of pampered professorial pygmies - the great number of small-minded insignificant persons who loudly pretend to have brains in their heads instead of helium, but are hard to ignore because all the other helium-heads treat them with wide-eyed wonder (Note: I mean no disrespect to anyone whose head might actually be filled with helium through no fault of their own.)
noisomely nattering nerds - intellectual academic types who make a great racket saying nothing of any substance
nebbishes - people too timid to make anything happen
expressively moribund from what must be an epidemic of terminal passion-constipation - where everyone acts like the walking dead because they can't deal with their own feelings
(back to verse 282)
Merriam-Webster Dictionary
reigning panoply of persistently pertinacious potentates - the amazing array of people in this world who have managed to put themselves in charge, whose minds are closed (and usually empty)
lilliputian popinjays - tiny-minded people trying to look important
tatterdemalion panjandra - fat-headed officials who can hardly hold together their little realms of supposed power
quidnuncs illicitly self-enthroned by fratricidal slander and other serpiginous treacheries of censorious defamation - busy-bodies who put themselves into power by climbing over the bodies of associates whom they’ve lied about and in other ways destroyed
(back to verse 283)
Merriam-Webster Dictionary
aphasically flaky flap and nomological flubdub - where you raise an uproar of such stupid nonsense that it could only be created by someone with serious brain damage
despicably invidious wiles - disgusting tricks to deceive people and make them mad
beset, bedaub and combatively bedevil our every endeavor - to stand in the way of, and complicate, everything we try to do
astonishing magnitude of inextinguishable blur and immaterial complication - an amazing amount of needless confusion and difficulty
(back to verse 284)
Merriam-Webster Dictionary
miscreant nabobs - the rich and powerful who are also depraved and villainous
magisterial mavens of naught - overly self-assured experts at nothing
aimless aeonian anamneses - forever living in the past
mind-muddling maunderings and screeds - speeches that are so long and disorganized that you are left totally confused
chilling willies - heebee-jeebees
daftly defying the much needed benefits of quantitative elucidation - completely failing to make things clear when we need them to be
(back to verse 285)
Merriam-Webster Dictionary
appallingly paroxysmal stem-winders of studied swooning - where, after lots of practice, you throw Academy Award-worthy fainting spells
steamy recitals of gasping and hyperpneic panting - where you act like you’ve just been chased by a herd of angry elephants
reprehensibly repleat with unrepeatable impracticalities of pathological pap and pointedly pompous pontification - filled with disgusting nonsense that shouldn't be brought up in polite company, and other equally useless pronouncements that make you sound like you think the earth is your own private footstool
(back to verse 286)
Merriam-Webster Dictionary
fat-headed fare-thee-wells of flamingly flamboyant flippancy - where, being a pompous jerk, you don’t know when to stop making wildly colorful and totally inappropriate attempts at humor
full flushes of snuffy fewtrils - where, like a typical snob who never grew up, you let loose with great surges of emotion over stupid things (like whether you ought to install a hot tub in your limousine)
fey flummoxing flummeries - elaborate ceremonial procedures that are crazy and confusing
hardly decipherable semantic torque - where your language is so twisted that people can only pretend to understand you, at best
virtual abattoir of syntactical declination, inspissation and insolubilization - a slaughterhouse for the destruction of language
(back to verse 287)
Merriam-Webster Dictionary
emit a nauseating but fashionably fetid effluvium of defiling sullage - to inflict our nostrils with a sickening, though socially correct, stink of corrupting sewage
churning load of psychotropic rot - a big heap of diseased nonsense that acts directly on our minds
legacy of lack and lackadaisical emasculation - where they’ve left us not only with inadequacies, but with memories that suck the life out of us
inescapable irrevocability in phrenic evisceration - where there is no way to avoid having your mind destoyed
(back to verse 288)
Merriam-Webster Dictionary
whoosh of huzzahs, heady hallelujahs - an explosion of joyous shouts
high-pitched hails - where you voice your agreement after you’ve lost your voice and all you can do is squeek
choral manifesto of erumpent exhilaration - the united vocal expression of our bursting excitement
heraldic light of the incipient consummation - where we finally realize that all this is actually about to happen
(back to verse 289)
Merriam-Webster Dictionary
annunciatory day of dispensation - a time representing the start of a new order of things
epoch of unification in dedication to concentration on lofty flotation in untethered elevation on the thermal winds of this, our covenantal determination - a long period in history marked by our finally working together so we can all soar as high as we wish, energized by the great purpose we’ve agreed upon (certainly hasn't happened yet)
(back to verse 290)
Merriam-Webster Dictionary
expurgatory cooperation - where working together cleanses our souls
extrication and elimination - where you pull something out of the mix and get rid of it
enclutteration from the subcutaneous accumulation of exanimate emotional muck - things that confuse and slow you down with inappropriate feelings that get under your skin and suck the life out of you
deep sedimentation of troglodytic crud and carbuncular incrustation - multiple layers of old inappropriate habits and attitudes that stick to you like diseased skin
(back to verse 291)
Merriam-Webster Dictionary
cramp, crimp, cripple and crush - what you do to your best Sunday clothes when you take a nap in them
tendrils of early evolving motivation - the special sensitivities we feel about things we are just beginning to try out for ourselves
victorious expiration and saving supplantation - where you come out on top by killing something and replacing it with a new and improved model
indignities that stanch us down to stygian stagnation - where being denied your due recognition or any appropriate advancement plunges you into gloomy feelings of suppression
(back to verse 292)
Merriam-Webster Dictionary
tromping elixir - the essential principle that overrides everything else
apogean climax - the highest, most exciting point
exquisite culmination - where everything comes beautifully together
aureate acme of acmies - the golden-hued best of the best
auricular apex - the best of all things you can hear
unshakled odyssey of anabatic tranformation - where you are totally free in your quest, that long process of intellectual and spiritual perfection
(back to verse 293)
Merriam-Webster Dictionary
audible - you can hear it
symphonious aubade - a beautiful morning love song
august apotheosis of coactive consecration - the majestic perfection of devoting ourselves as one to a common purpose
confluence of invulnerable individuation - where each person’s sense of individuality is so secure that they all can join into a single force without feeling threatened
candent consolidation of consentaneous rejuvenation - where, by being of one mind and heart, we bring everything together into a white heat of stimulation, energy and vigor
(back to verse 294)
Merriam-Webster Dictionary
apparition of dispositional qualification - where you assume the right attitude
apotropaic nay-saying, nixing, negation and nullification - providing an environment so hostile to evil that it can’t exist there
illusory apprehension's draconian throat-clutching clench - the feeling of being strangled by your worries, even though they are not real
maleficent minification by dictation of inhibiting intimidation - the evils of thinking you are too small and insignificant to do anything because you feel threatened and afraid
(back to verse 295)
Merriam-Webster Dictionary
inoculative lustration by means of inosculative substantiation - where good people strengthen and protect each other by sticking together
high-flying rumpus of admonitory retaliation - where we have the time of our lives in a great commotion of revenge by warning everyone to straighten up and fly right, or to shape up or ship out
paradisiacal plane of ecumenical colligation - a paradise in which all different kinds of people cooperate
throw a regular heavenly riot of joyful song and celebration - like a never-ending Handel’s "Messiah" sing-along (with confetti and balloons)
(back to verse 296)
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