Immoderate Musings;
Quibblesome Quarrels;
Risible Rhapsodies on
Music and Morals


A versicular quodlibet of
sesquipedalian teradiddles,
dillies of diddling fiddle-faddle and
philosophical flapdoodle
by
David Van Alstyne



Dedicated to my father
Arvo Van Alstyne
in memory of his oft repeated advice to me as a little boy:

"In promulgating your esoteric cogitations,
and articulating your superficial sentimentalities,
sedulously eschew prolixity and circumlocution, and
rigorously minimize rodomontade and thrasonical bombast.
In short: don't use big words."

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1) Hurling herculean hype and hyperbole in
hysterical hails of exhortation
hewn in humorless hues of hubris and
honed and toned to the inflammation
of
2) hoarsely harping and hardily carping in a
howling hullabaloo of harsh allegation by
high-minded homilies and haughty huffs and puffs of
irascibly hierophantic expostulation,
or
3) haranguing hog-wild in perfervid philippics in a
harebrained ballyhoo of histrionic oration (a
most outstandingly inadvisable invitation to the
outing, by inadvertent hypostatization
of the
4) harrowing, unwholesomly hideous hubbub of
sermonic temper tantrums so tellingly tainted by
bouts of convulsive delirium, dyspeptic
hidrosis and psychosomatic hyperventilation)
can only
5) serve to impede the fatidic advent of a
golden age of Apollonian apperception and the
securely consequential ramification of its
expeditiously preternatural precipitation
of
6) epiphenomenal societal ascesis and its
provenance of factional restraint and coaptation; a
conceptual meal; a delicious ideal, though as
yet, still a high pie-in-the-sky vaticination
from the
7) hard-bitten, heroically incontrovertible esperance of
irreversible immigration into a happy combination of
utopian sunshine, universal good will,
intrinsic well-being, and ultimate sanctification
(for
8) many, an ancient futurological abstraction, yet
evidentially, a concrete eschatological destination; a
peaceable pandect; a teleology of fate framed in
faith-bolstered grit and presentimental anticipation)
while
9) fleetly floundering and foundering yet further into a
forbiddingly befouling fog of festinate failure by
foolhardily forfending any informal figment of forum
featuring the forthrightly fructifying fomentation
of
10) even the fictively fainthearted feigning of
chary eschewal toward the unnaturalization, far less the
sightly semblance of sedulous limitation, if
not the actual razing and final eradication,
of the
11) ignoble offices of institutional vice which
spurn sublimation (but spawn facilitation of the
accursedly mercenary normalization) of
all our nefarious forms of naughty stimulation
under its
12) protective aegis of low-life legalisms; an
addlepated ethos of unlimned liberation; a
competent configuration to brace, boost and buttress our
buzzardliness in blindly besotted infatuation
with
13) all the hot choler and hair-triggered spleen spewing from
fabulistic furnaces of larcenous litigation and
founded on such darned dillies of diddling fiddle-faddle,
philosophical flapdoodle and follies of ideation
as the
14) damnatory, diabolically dismissive despoliation of
guileless glad-handing and free fraternization, a
depreciatory opiate of riskless asepsis in the
indurate idlesse of our collusive invocation
of the
15) indisposing ails of ennui; the undiscountable ills of
neoteric acedia (a lamentable agglomeration), and the
ectopically pernicious spread and proliferation of
selfward doubt and down-putting denigration
in our
16) amorphously afflictive malaise of abulia; our
accordant quandary of anomic diffidence and the
destructively chafing and abrading afflatus of our
stolid estrangement, that absorptive alienation
which
17) elicits an array of antinomian gymnastics, an
unfunny façade of gumption unto a fountain of
facile furies: fussy fusillades of withering
disgust and hypocritical horror at the imputation
of
18) figuratively flitting, fluttering and fumbling in a
flailing kerfuffle of funambulistic flouncing through
more than a few frantically futilitarian fits and flusters of
rending rectitudinal flexure and fluctuation,
and is
19) propense to deign neither to cast aspersions, nor to
pass glances askance or of any other discoloration, nor in
silence to suffer any idiolectally idiotic slams from
certain snippy snipes who sling stigmatization
on
20) common anomolies of jejune impropriety, or
idiomatics of opprobrious ethical variation, or
electrifying afronteries of moral turpitude at the
very vanguard of actionable legal aberration.



No.
21) Not with the contemporary currents of ochlocracy in
this, our own halcyon heyday of habituation to
heinous heedlessness and wholly heathen decadence; our
convivially cozy, self-coddling collaboration
in
22) headless hedonism; our alarming acquiescence in the
exoneration, even to the point of homologation, of
such widely disparate modes of accreditation (an
entire catalogue of distemperate depravation);
our
23) brassy bravado and unbuttoned braggadocio in what
should be the daunting dint of Dionysian debauchery; our
attitudinized affinities of hasty approbation, if not
unapologetically apoplectic promulgation,
of
24) swimming with the hordes in swamps of sewerly swill with
drunken delight and downright ditsy delectation in the
routing; the disastrously dizzying devaluation, through
higgledy-piggledy daily deformation, of civilization
wherein,
25) haplessly hamstrung, more than half- haggard and harried,
horribly hampered, harassed, hassled and hectored into an
unlaughable phylogenetic phase of bleary-eyed haze; an
unseeing, glassy glaze of impending incapacitation,
we
26) carelessly cruise and carouse, careening ever closer and
closer to a collision with functional cessation until,
clearly unkenningly, we court a collective calamity of
real rue, ruinous rack and relegation
to the
27) proverbial landfill; the dustheap of history; in a
turbid imbroglio of reckless flirtation with
uncurbed carnal caprice; a dark indication of our
growing gravitation to the threshold of obliteration,
ever in
28) sleepy subjection to the natural operation and
ongoing force of omnidirectional centrifugation, in
apathetic nescience to the increasing acceleration of our
hair-raising plunge into the dumps of decimation;
into a
29) down-home drubbing of unprecedented despair; a
subliminal Hades of drudging dilapidation; a
potentially depilatory dystopian desert of
dilemmatically dysphoric deformity and derogation;
into a
30) drought of drear and incurable disrelation; by the
undoing of dulling dolor and disrelishable desiccation, into the
very nidus and presage, the ripsnorting bull's eye, of
distinctly irremeable, contortive exacerbation,
not just the
31) odd petty, namby-pamby epicyclical episode, or a
lean little kink of ephemeral irk and irritation, nor a
cagey charade based on somewhat psychotic denial of
dopey perplexity and inexplicable exasperation,
but the
32) gaping specter of no less than Armageddon; a
real humdinger of apocalyptic bust: a
global Gotterdammerung; a killing katzenjammer of
unmitigated miff mixed with febrile frustration
through our
33) wretched warfares; our whopping wants and whimsies; our
wandering, wishfully wayward and willingly willy-nilly through a
windswept wilderness of self-whittling witless wonder: an
eerie moonscape of hypnopompic speculation
until,
34) by and by, we all come to incuriously ape a
pyretic pandemonium of little panicking pismires in a
peculiarly imprudent procession, an incommodiously
peppy parade; an acephalous peregrination
down a
35) primly pruned primrose path; a prissy promenade: a
well-buttered chute in the impendent transpiration of a
prelusive epitasis of flabbergastingly short-sighted
spiritual suicide and perky self-desecration
in a
36) variously variegated vastitude of lechery; the
expansive attractions of lascivious incontinence
unhinderedly heading us straight into the absurdly siren,
perilous imminence of ignominious immolation
in the
37) fire-pits of uneducably libidinous callosity (and a
paucity of any pensive equiponderation!); in an
increasingly deafening inducer of infuriation; a
molto crescendo of cacophonic cachinnation;
a
38) creepy concoction of crapulous crassitude; an
all too perceptibly frequent demonstration of
occult cabalas crammed into steaming cauldrons of
heaving voluptuosity in the constant provocation
to either
39) rifle and raven all the smudging sludge and slime, or to
passively partake of the gaudy agglutination, that
monstrous cornucopia of cyclopean quantification, that
kaleidoscopic Babel of titanic temptation
to
40) pack a pitiful profit from all the prodigality in those
overactive engines of profluent profligacy which
imbrue the knotty nub; the nasty nettlesome nodus of the
glowing inferno of ontological perturbation
in this
41) pandemic bash; this plentifully Babylonian bacchanal of
protean perversity and irrepressible promiscuity; this
flighty, but flightlessly farcical festival of
fiendishly enfevered infectious inebriation
with
42) surely the most calculably brummagem chimera, or
contemptible course of constrictive divination
ever cooked up in great big broiling vats and
smugly immured in visionless evaluation,
to
43) come up and threaten with the menace of correlation with
significant shrinkage by paedomorphic retardation anyone's
already assailably arenaceous foundation of
gnosis, life-sense and even cognitive registration
by a
44) ruddy ruse of spin, balmy bon mots of embellishment,
selective report and relativistic rationalization, leaving
many of us dumbstruck in wide-eyed befuddlement by its
bold and benumbingly effusive dissimulation
of the
45) "as ye sow, so shall ye reap" sort of certitude of
wrenching remorse in the rascally wreaking of wreckage; in the
ineluctable reaping of an unhallowed harvest
redolent of karmic wrath, rebuke and damnation
long
46) garnered by the gleaning of glop, garbage and guck; a
moldering mass of myriad meretricious chaff; the
toxic bottom scrapings; the dregs, dross and detritus, the
grounding guerdon of expediential miscomputation;
that
47) smoldering trash; that aromatically moldy mash of
refuse grown from seeds tossed up and scattred in
malodorous whirlwinds; turgid williwaws from the
old playgrounds of pruritically prurient imagination;
those
48) drafty nether regions of the unschooled mind; that
psychic tumultuary from whence seem to be hatched all
germinal eidolons of dastardly design on
criminal acts of glandular gratification.



But the
49) refulgent recrudescence of orchidaceous elan;
(Eureka!) the irradicably robust calibration of
long since abandoned, swimmily unswaddled,
youthfully eudaemonistic self-congratulation,
once so
50) gratingly giddy; so roguishly raffish; so
rankly randy, so critically callous and callow; so
blastedly bland and blithely oblivious to
such common-sensical concerns as humiliation,
like a
51) fiery, feisty phoenix, having once lily-liveredly
faltered in a Fabian frivolity of flat-footed
flopping in dullardly dalliance and defalcation,
now in a tardy little moiety of compensation,
at
52) last here rises up in a blinding lightning flash; a
commandeering crash of thunderous fulguration; a
galvanizing blaze; a brashly bellicose craze; an
intractable transfiguration in protestation
against the
53) way we wanly wangle, wilt, whimper and whine, wallowing
wimpishly woebegone in a woozy welter of weltschmerz, all the
while half-heartedly hastening to hedge our bets through
lethally lubric, venal vizards of vacillation
in a
54) sagging, soul-shrinking torpor of dulcet dupery; being
lost in the sequela of confusion and dislocation where we
complaisantly fall into and freely follow a fallow rut; a
rigorously rocky road of regressive resignation
to the
55) reactionary rubbish of eremitic retirement: a
bad bill of hokum; a hallucinatory confection; a
bogus nostrum for sparse restoration through
erethically misoneistic stasis and hibernation;
to the
56) pursuit of retrograde rest through nidification in a
downy cocoon of neuroleptic capitulation to a
punctilious plot of claustrophobic reclusion in
stiff-necked, pallidly parochial insulation
against the
57) hegemonic peanut gallery of cackling hacks and gasbags,
persnickety, cretinous criticasters all crabbily crowing their
grumpy little gravamens of contumelious animadversion in
wicked wisecracks of unwarranted exultation;
against their
58) over-bloated gloats of cryptogenic invective making
spiteful spittle for the transgressive irrigation of
churlishly canorous canards, mordacious epithets and a
tizzy of taunts in inculpatory excoriation
for our
59) colloguing in any kind of socratic affiliation with
those who would ever think to nurture the conceptualization of
mutual outreach and neighborly cooperation in the
unrushable course of our temporal maturation,
and for
60) coming out to candidly query the quotidian quiddity of quantum
development, discussible reclamation and regeneration by the
quickening quintessence of our shared commiseration and
communal comity in concordant self-desquamation
so
61) typically, efficaciously partitive and appendant to the
attainment of convincing coherence in the conventionalization of that
comely colloquiality which uncorks the convalescence of
more cogent modes of consultation and deliberation
which
62) draw from the source of truly trenchant excogitation: to be
specific, the higher wisdom of lowly supplication for the
softening succor of supernatural distillation in
aiding the consortium in suprarational consideration
unto
63) advancing a bedrock experiential understanding of the
volatile vicissitudes and variously vagrant velleities in our
verily restive repose; a wildly optimistic
travesty of self-divesting self-neutralization;
in our
64) insidiously vitiating zeitgeist of insistently
obsessive and gustatorily pliant esurience which
builds up such a sacred science of gimcrackery in the
support of omnivorously voracious commercialization;
that
65) entanglingly tentacular umbrage of tinge; that
tenebrous, ominously omnibus adumbration of a
catalytically cleaving reclassification; just a
colossal mass of wholesale disintegration
which is
66) liable to smoke out and drive the most impressionable and
particularly simple-minded portions of the population into a
crumpled slump; an autonomic collapse; a
sapless lassitude of dismay and devitalization,
while
67) speedily dispatching, with all embarrassing promptitude and
unseemly celerity, into a downward modulation,
many anxious multitudes of hitherto loftier tier,
rank, image, esteem, caste, standing and station,
even
68) erstwhile prestigiously powerful high pooh-bahs of
otherwise tranquilly taciturn, saturnine,
serenely irenic, well-settled and sanguinely sapient (if
perhaps a bit stoutly straitlaced) equilibration
into
69) serpentine sequences of sinfully silly sallies
suffused with secretively sinister signification; into the
staging of solecistic spectacles and sundry sorry
scenes of senselessly supercilious elation
by
70) sulking and skulking, by sneaking and slowly slinking with
soldierly skills of starkly ophidian stealth; by
sashaying into sudorifically strenuous raids and forays,
incursions and sorties of sanguineous recreation;
into
71) unplanned, puzzling impieties of impetuosity and
utterly earthy acts of imbecilic irrationality, and as
pugnacious punks impertinently unimpressed by
procedurally edentulous legal reprobation,
into
72) rakish enterprises full of polychotomous botcheries; a
display of temerariously atavistic abstrusities; a
repertoire of other abhorrently ungainly gaucheries of
unrepeatable, inenarrably inelegant confrontation;
into
73) caddishly caballing in clubby cliques clearly conducive to
chummy, cravenly scummy capers of clownery, to
cowardly cavorts of intramural crunching and punching in
uncomical donnybrooks of pugilistic aggravation
which
74) comprise unpardonably puerile poltrooneries of
people-pounding and pummeling and the added characterization of
peripatetic prowls for purloining and pilfering in the
unjustifiably light-fingered expropriation
of
75) portable property (Egad! and Forsooth! such
pluck in transpicuously Tartarean usurpation) in
not exactly the least ludicrously lurid of lunes in this
meteoric crisis; even the loony escalation
of
76) minimindedly moronic moxie in the most errantly
purposive, unimaginably active perpetuation of
myriad miscellaneous misdemeanors and curmudgeonly
trespasses of buoyantly barefaced non-cooperation,
not to
77) mention those grimly grabbing dramatics of cloying pathos; those
potent plays plying precatory manipulation; that
Punic posing; those stage-front grisly theatrics of
such canny connivance in careful calculation
as to
78) address the whole wide scalably seedy spectrum in the
childish conduct of multifarious misfeasance (of
comportment, decorum, constraint, probity and politesse, it
certainly seems a somewhat serious abnegation
which
79) simply serves to prove incredibly insular,
impossibly preliminary, dissuasively delusional,
preposterously presumptuous and deplorably Promethean their
revoltingly ruffian rites of self-idolization
in the
80) naively nutty, nonchalantly narcissistic,
bafflingly idiopathic, yea even insupportably
pretentious and pathetically precritical prolepsis of their
own self-worship on a vector of deification)
as they
81) merrily rove and rave, ravage, pillage and plunder like
marauding bands of highly pixilated blunderbusses;
die-hard delinquents doing dreadfully drastic deeds of
deleterious demerit and demential indignation
as if
82) flung in a froth, frenzied, fumbling and fuming, into
fugacious fandangos, frenetic fugues and frissons of
fastuous fanfaronade: fantods and fiascos of
fully unfurled manic disorientation;
like
83) gaggles of goofy goose-stepping galoots,
gee-whiz guerillas and pinheaded palookas all
eclamptically accreting suppletory certification of a
well-earned rap and really regrettable reputation
for
84) buccaneerishly galumphing into grievous garboils of
chthonian uproar and terpsicoresan bedlam, and for
gallivanting in great gyres of callithumpian chaos in a
three-ring circus of near-simian agitation;
like
85) pie-eyed picaroons; bozos bouncing about,
bibulously bound in graceless confederation; like a
bunch of bedraggled deadbeats, perennially polluted and
thoroughly smashed from lots of lusty libation
as if
86) well-oiled and potted; plastered three sheets to the wind in an
uproariously dipsomaniacal phantasmagoria; like
flunkies falling down in a fescennine fantasyland, an
engulphing insanity of epicurean degeneration;
like
87) ungrateful vagabonds; ne'er-do-wells wasting their weal in a
jadedly subfusc, limpid limbo of leisure; like a
touring carnival of shiftless jackanapes dawdling in a
desultory drift of Cyrenaic misappropriation;
like a
88) monolithic school of expressionless ichthyoids
insensibly free-floating downstream through Erebus in a
cussed complicity of reproachable convention; a
catastrophic shtick of cataleptic conformation
until at
89) last straitly stopped and stuck, stalled, stymied and stifled,
stinted, strapped and stranded, sorely stricken, stunned and startled,
stirred up and starkly stung, soundly slammed, well slapped and
painfully pinched, pricked and pierced by the sudden scintillation
of
90) successive sockdolagers of Solomonic sobriety
followed, anon, by a balmily prompting undulation of
warming waftures of reluctant intuition and
zephyrs of inscrutably sagacious mentation
(which
91) subsequently start to spark small shudders, then
spasmodic shocks and ataxic seizures of
staying chagrin and forcefully bestilling savvy:
momentous muscular memos of sanative incitation
to
92) swell in one excruciating singularization of
peremptory sorrow and slackening self-censure;
below and beyond bemusement, bent into a destitution of
self-abasing abashment and abject prostration)
they
93) reinventively rise up and recant, reconnoiter, reconsider,
reorder, retrench, remap and regroup in recuperation to
resolutely resound, without even so much as a soupçon, or the
slightest rudimentary remnant of any real reservation,
by
94) screeching, squeaking, squealing, squalling and squawking in
calamitous counterpoint; high-decibel dilatation;
stentorian anathema; a moiling exhibition of
ungodly commotion in aleatoric ululation;
a
95) tornadic furor in a redoubtable detonation of
ear-shredding shrieks in stridulous harmonization; a
swirling saturnalia of shrill, sharply strident shouts and
unsavory salvos not fit for publication;
a
96) ceaseless cascading of bloodcurdling caterwauls; a
searing torrent of clattering grunts, croaks and cries; an
abrasive brandishment; a discordant concatenation of
rabid rants and acidly acrimonious exclamation
at the
97) wrong-headedly rowdy, ribald, raucous and raunchy; the
battering, even butcherly, unboundedly bad, brusque and bawdy; the
just plain studiously lewd, crude and laconically rude,
consuetudinary excuse for polite communication
which,
98) worse than the usual bandying of empty-headed codswallop or
apothegms of bewilderingly ambiguous badinage, is a
brazen blazonry in the peddling of brainless balderdash; such
belching banter, a misbegotten encapsulation
of the
99) maddeningly deceptive tenure and acceptation of a
common but inexcusably unscrupulous customization; a
chic but scabrously offensive and fatefully foul affaire; an
artifice of ruthlessly unprincipled adulteration:
(alas) the
100) notably utilitarian and (aha!) suspiciously Faustian
aesthetic of misread rights and victimization, of
adrenergic angst, anger and self-relinquishing eager submission to
Pavlovian pawnship and distractive dehumanization;
that
101) phenomenon of infamous finesse in malefic flimflam,
irreformably fly flab and flatly flagrant flatulence; that
deceitfully forgetive, strongly astringent asperity of
Spartanly steely zeal in theoretical sanitization
which
102) ironically seems to belie all the brackish banality of its
own particular forms of poverty-stricken petrification, being
calmly copacetic in the scurrilously scrofulous and
sordid sterility in the seamy evocation
of
103) poison so sheeny and putatively appealing yet so
puissantly paralyzing to what precious little remains of
conscience in the venerable old bastions of conservation, of
traditional good taste and puristic delineation;
so
104) nocent to the plexus, so bedimming to the very nexus of our
quondam concentered and once-shared righteous notions that our
watchfulness weakly wanes now from wide-eyed waking to
nearly comatose in indiscriminate toleration.



In
105) trying to dredge the depths of this cockeyed conundrum as if to
unravel an unfathomable nebulosity by impetration, feeling
clobbered over the head and left (for seconds) almost speechless in a
dumbfounded conniption of incredulous consternation;
even
106) snowed, blindsided and buffaloed, by hunkering down in a
pungent putrescence, a cool, cowering sequestration from the
reek and the stench, the olfactory violation, of this
benighting, but emphatically beloved, abomination,
I
107) must, with sheepish contrition, confess that even
I sometimes become part of the whole unholy mess when
acceding to the pleasingly hypnagogic seduction, the
ubiquitous snare, of vernacular acculturation
by
108) tumbling headstrong, headlong through that hidden trapdoor, being
had, nabbed, unhinged, tricked, tackled and taken by the
elusive lure, the fool's gold, of slumming sedation and
far too entrancingly pragmatic transmigration
wherein,
109) whatever the instrument, voice or venue, far too many a
stick-in-the-mud, nominally classical music presentation, to the
audience, must seem like a cause for reparation; an
ugsome happening of chafing de facto incarceration
where, as
110) if they had all wanted to purchase the rare privilege of
attending detention in a hostage situation, they
gradually notice themselves bruised and beleaguered:
mired in a morass of drowsy discombobulation
which
111) ere long dampens their dander down to discomfiture which
then descends to the ends of squirming discountenance while their
disconcerted disquietude further deliquesces to
points past the discipline of stoic desperation,
and thus a
112) tryingly outré, auditively ataractic ordeal (at
very best, a sour hour of dour disconsolation) finally
devolves into a smelter of unendurable adversity; a
morphinic abyss of such eroded conation
that when the
113) dustup, the slugfest, the motley melismatic melee, the
maelstrom of musical mayhem, mercifully melts (and the
storm subsides and lo, the ructions retreat, then
behold, and listen! a bucolic bombination,
the
114) efflux of anarchy, upheaval and seige; a
pacific solatium; an arcadian vacation (as a
matter of fact, it's really nothing much more than a
strangely stertorous sort of susurration
from a
115) soothing surfeit, an anxiolytic desert, of
understandably escapist rest and relaxation) now
rises up, all too readily arousing a reformative rush of
pride-impairing, richly rubefacient realization
that by
116) some sort of seriocomically soporific snafu, in
truth, the timely anodyne of symphonic etherization, they are
all gently lulled into a semblable senectitude,
lost in private idylls of languid nutation,
which
117) brings us forthwith, at last well past the cast for
futzing in folderol or fudging hesitation, to the
gist and the grist of this excursive disquisition; this
modest proposal imploring for regulation
that we
118) sublate our bewitchingly perfunctory preference for
languishing in lethargically phlegmatic procrastination by
taking the first steps toward redemptive obviation of
such distressingly insubstantial subrogation
by
119) bravely essaying past a plodding modality, a
paltry, poky, merely hypothetical formulation of
rambling, probatorily irrelevant research, into the
actual clinical trial, by direct implementation,
of
120) admittedly on the fringe, and if in more than a few ways,
well okay, I guess a little radically avant-garde, and
yes, even conceivably a bit impractically far-fetched, but
nonetheless compulsively fastidious, experimentation
with the
121) pre-emptive disbursement of minor medical assistance from
amphetamines, (yes, indeed! the nutritive application, by
somewhat surreptitious supply and distribution: the
donation of strategic pharmaceutical invigoration),
that is,
122) little measured morsels of molecular design, always
offered sub rosa with judicious synchronization, namely,
quietly handed out concomitantly with the playbill: that
usual basic fare of printed information
at least
123) depending on the music, at carefully chosen concerts their,
although always generously complimentary, of course, yet
still, by all means otherwise, wisely discretionary
stringless gift, issuance and free dissemination
for the
124) fostering of fine, friendly philophonetic fellowship through
high giddy games of glad-handing and phatic persiflage, if
not the sharpening of judgment, as well, by the nascence of
knowledgeability in matters of music appreciation.



But
125) seriously now, to suggest a less questionable
premise for culminant cultural convocation, and a
bit more enticing to those few among us of a
little less certifiably frivolous inclination,
I
126) hereby dare to propose a probably improbable but
contradistinctively responsible recommendation; a
felicitous phantasm which certainly embodies much more
intriguingly sound and salubrious innovation
for
127) strictly exogenous and therefore assuredly more
deeply satisfying and acceptably accessible,
less evanescent and much more achievably
comprehensible transports of innocent excitation;
a
128) much better maneuver; a much more tenable tack
plainly more propitiously propped up with promise for an
independent, sempiternally replenishable plenitude of
pluripotently multiplicative perceptual augmentation:
namely, with
129) clear, clarion clamor and cultured conspicuity, our
assiduous avowal and adamant acclamation of
intrepid, perennially saponaceous expurgation by our
climbing the cuspate acclivity toward acclimatization
to the
130) altitude of altogether cleansing oblation by
complete repentance unto reboant repudiation of the
discredited and crumbling credo of hackneyed acting and
ancillary hebephrenically foppish affectation;
our
131) crusade for bewitching interpretive crystallization with
such newly higher levels of differentiation as can
only hope to be heard in the finalization of our
keenly perspicacious care and preparation;
a
132) dependably true and ever faithful reflection of
refractive reverence in the ever delicate gestation of its
sublime and indeed supernally incandescent powers of
lift, levitation and empyrean edification,
by the
133) aerial ascendency of our hotly addressing the
amply amendatory alembic of amelioration through a
rough, rugged and roundly renovative revolution of
rescission, rejection and raw renunciation
of
134) all things that might turn out to be finally found
invested with an aura enticing of apperception
all the more widely seen in hindsight's so conveniently
concise and coldly clarifying confirmation
as the
135) axiomatic prototype; the surprising peak and epitome of
extravagantly eximious exemplification; a
bona fide life-changing lesson of radiant insight; an
inimitable instrument of apt illustration
which
136) simply renders a bleakly brambly bromide out of
any misapprehensive supererogation of
conjecturally extrapolatory exertion in the exercise of
epexegetically epistemological expatiation;
no
137) less than an archtypically stellar luminosity; a
hard working laser lamp of inductive diagnosis; a
most decidedly definitive delamination of
pointed pertinency in the empirical indagation
of this
138) superveniently garish glut of gimmicky gewgaws and
tawdry pop slop: tidal waves of hieratic hog wash, along with the
stress and traumatization of its thorough assimilation in
what still seems to be our insuperable solicitation
of the
139) perhaps beguiling but also begriming and bestially
imbruting inundation and throbbing saturation of
so much corrosive and corruptingly invasive
sonic salaciousness and sensualization
in
140) favor of, (albeit at least for the hoi polloi -
that is, as they say, your regular rummy rabble and riffraff -
less appreciable, yet no less elysian)
fields in what should be realms of revelation
for
141) which, for all their far surpassing infinitude of
ineffably blissful and blessing beautification, we
still seem to sink to wink at seeking a stink of
droning, ham-fisted, supraliminal unsubtilization
(in a
142) gonzo Gehenna of gullible gulosity and
Sisyphean toil well embroidered, for show of
competitive servility, with the heaving of thespian sighs and
globular beads of synthetic perspiration)
by
143) unbudgeably indulging ourselves in all the engrossments of
entropic indolence and myopic amentia while
raddled, self-bilked and insouciantly soused in a
summative stupefaction that harbors hebetation:
ever an
144) irredeemably uncouth, well knockably hidebound,
imperviously wayward, obscurely synergic,
obstinately xylocephalic, truly obtuse and
(apologies to sheep) ovine order of aspiration.



(It
145) must take no less than the unlikely likes of such an
endless, pestiferously impassioned induration; a
portentous prominence; an exotically pagan plague; a
palpably protrusive insurgence and infestation;
a
146) gaunt gestalt; an ungovernable impersonalization of
basely banausic and ratty ratiocination for the
commensurately bovine grasp and captivation of this
unconditional consignation to such uglification
as well as a
147) tragic, thaumaturgic existential convergence; an
unforseeably solipsistic coincidence and conspiration of
stringently strained and sheerly sciolistic sophistry and
scoffably stilted and stuffy pseudo-sophistication
to
148) mount, maintain and sustain such a minatory
mist in the miasmatic mystification of the
fuzzy feasibility of mutely muzzy mimicry in
all manner of misdeed and malleable malversation.)



As I
149) simmer and stew in the slough of accomodation, a
slow-brewing broth of indigestible denegation,
queerly quivering and quite easily queasy from
perpending my own unavoidable participation
in this
150) unseasonable winter; this waking Walpurgis Night of
valetudinarian floccipaucinihilipilification; this
brutally betokening, unwelcomely weighty wallop; this
boom of gloom, doom, looming death and devastation;
this
151) detestably down-dumbing dunning of demoralization by
bombastic bluster and unblinking bloviation from the
jungle of juvenescent jackals, nerve-jangling and
jarringly jeering in their jumping jubilation,
my
152) knees tend to buckle; I roll around writhing, really
rubbed and riled at all the revelry rising from this
quaking quagmire of unquotably querulous quibbling in
such demonstrably inexpugnable energization
as to
153) surely douse any decent sense of discernment with a
drowning, cataractous deluge of dubitation on the
faintest shimmer, the dimmest glint or dislimned
glimmer of any primordial predetermination
for a
154) sharp, smart and happily snappy solution of
salvifically salutary intellectualization, or
any foresightful provision for the abbreviation, if
not for the actual pellucid penetration,
of all the
155) diurnally damaging, beholdably, abundantly batty
bumblings of the Unbelievably Bubbleheaded Booboisie; that
bourgeois plurality of overbearing bimbos and their
knee-jerk reaction: the reflexive limitation
of
156) any sort of challenge or hypothetical danger from the
tutorial workings of introspective excavation in the
transitory maw of soul-searching self-assessment or
any other sort of spirit-everting examination.



Indeed, the
157) penumbra of highly glorified glitter, glitz and glamour within
even the most instinctively cautious and conservative,
respectfully recessive, tentative and timorously
realistic, (in a word: unromantic) visualization
of
158) wanting to resort to horizontal aerobatics; a
vaudevillian side-show of ballistic punctuation; a
straightforward, swashbuckling, slubbering swan song of
hyposensitizing high-velocity self-defenestration
now
159) finally fades to moot in the deflation of cancellation by
high-timely virtue of lugubrious moderation; in a
fortuitous five-star funk of autosuggestive fatigue and a
thankworthy benefaction of neurasthenic dissipation;
in a
160) recessional inanition of anorectic dispassion; an
attitudinal climate of costive immobilization; a
benedictory boon of demolishing disinterest; a
superfetation of anaphylactic enervation,
and
161) now a bit wiser, well wizened and wearily wistful, I
woozily wobble, wary of wiggling and whiffling in
wrenching doubt, disconnection, distrait decrepitude and
limp-wristed, washed-out volitional debilitation
from the
162) gruesome gaffes, gags and gadarene grotesqueries; the
unaccountable commissions of astronomical nincompoopery; the
madness so nocuously rife, ripe and rippingly roiling in the
foremost, most vortically atrabilious confabulation
that could
163) ever possibly inform with such fissiparous fatuity the
open visibility of all our operant idiocy; our
foiling foibles; our fine fetes of fiendish fleering and
frigid fribbling in pachydermatous polarization.



(What
164) well-tailored warpage for precursory dotage; a
stricture of superfluously comprehensive incubation for
anachronistic senility by means of modification through
premature geriatric transmogrification!)



As I
165) struggle, stutter, stagger, stumble and tremble, feeling
trammelled and trampled flat, almost to annihilation, and
trapped under a tremendously taxing tortuosity, a
terrifying toll of truly triturating trepidation,
I
166) try very hard not to come completely unglued, or to
fickly flee, flag, flinch, fiddle or fidget fully
fed up at the furious fight, the flukey but fatally feral
fracas, the frightfully ferocious conflagration
that could
167) all too easily come to combust and speedily explode at the
causative but purely unintentional instigation of the
very most onerously obnoxious otiosity of
weaseling wind-baggery and forensic ostentation
ever to
168) pique, poke, prod and plainly pervert the public palaver with
infusions of argy-bargy that wring the recitation of
wanton waggery, wheeling, dealing and polemical woop-de-do in
salty scenes of tensely contentious disputation.



But
169) Hark! and Hope Ahoy! Here comes favorably haphazard
happenstance happily hopping up, hieing out of hiding with
harbingers of help in the emergent incorporation of
haply serendipitous psychological fortification
in this
170) dippy potpourri of promotively pulsant pabulum
painstakingly positing peace and palliation; this
belittleably entertaining antidote (diligently assembled with
hardly a single shred or twist of disinformation);
this
171) catchy contraption of cathartic contrariety; this
pretty pitch for therapeutic rehabilitation; this
wee bagatelle; this wacky literary stunt of
arcane verbosity and syllabic inflation;
this
172) soupy syllabus of superficial sentimentalities; this
fancy fardel of infectious fascination; this
mulligan stew of scholiastic scolding well
seasoned with sublunarily outsized exercitation;
this
173) droll rendition of rolling rodomontade in
risible rhapsodies of rhythm and rhyme; this
daedal discourse with the purgative purport of
passably perspicuous exfoliation
of the
174) congesting congeries of colloquial convolutions that
perdurably closet, conceal, cover, cloak and camouflage the
whole darned cockamamy cozenage of condescension,
clever cockalorum and incorrigible obfuscation;
this
175) self-aggrandizement by arduous arrogance
allowably littered with lots of light-hearted levity; this
architectonic foisting of newfangled farragoes; this
caliginous quodlibet yet void of fabrication
(well
176) nearly); a malapertly protracted pullulation, a
nonpareil, of playfully preceptive sloganization all
pertly pumped up plump; this serried posy of puffery; this
marginal, deciduously neologistic dissertation
which
177) tips and teeters too tiringly toward turning into a
terribly tautologous teratological tome; an
untenable travail of terrene trivialities; a
turbulently troublesome transvaluation;
a
178) truculent treatise of toplofty trifles; an
ursine tractate of treacly tripe and taradiddles
torridly teeming with all the rancidly squishy fruitage of
renitent rancor ridden with tumid fermentation,
and
179) plushly padded with a punishing plethora of
uncompromising pedanticisms comprising
pedestrian ponderosities of pigheaded preachment and
priggishly puritanical proselytization;
of
180) claptrap seething with a sopping permeation of
paralogismic horsefeathers and plutonian punditry; a
panoramic palette of lyrically libelous, though
no less lambently luculent, lucubration
all
181) over-conscientiously preened and primped; all
frugally tamped and tightly packed pat with
pithy patches of illogically profane yet
implacably predicatory prognostication;
all
182) predictably paced with well-placed periods of
progressively pure Pecksniffian pandering, and
pervasively paved with Panglossian poppycock to
posture a patina of placid pacification
while
183) vilipending, reprehending, nit-picking and pindlingly
paltering with a big billowing bag of disingenuous ploys; with an
emollient pastiche, a tart but tasty patois
pregnant with inexpiably mendacious elaboration
in an
184) unproven, supposititiously panacean praxis of
shameless shuffling and a sort of shallow shilly-shallying in a
runaround of unrealizable reconciliation by
ad hoc scrimmages of syncretistic mediation;
a
185) sumptuous platter of peccantly prickly pitter-patter and
priapic prancing in slaphappy pleonasm,
oozing with tropes of sly syllogistic sleight made
comfortable by a penchant for prestidigitation
through
186) skunking skulduggeries of subterranean subterfuge; through
slippery subversion and sequels of sabotage by
solidly subcelestial dissembling via multi-shaded
lies of immensely specious oversimplification
and by
187) putting to good use a lenitively euphuistic
rhetoric of awkwardly allusive etiolation, in
fine, by the unflappable unfolding, forming and flying of
fibs fixed in feckless fawning and foolish assentation
for the
188) laboriously loquacious, sloppy and slobbishly slipshod,
largely lame and long-winded lubrication of
transparently snide slurs and smears well tucked into
clumsy obscurities of sententious insinuation;
with a
189) tersely versicular verdure of veritable verbicide; a
palmary particularity of venturesome ventilation; an
untoward awakening of dogged virtuosity in the
ambits of loathesomely labyrinthian vermiculation
that
190) vie to varnish volcanic surges of vehemence in
cheap shots of punitive editorial commination with a
papilionaceous, adroitly dapper dance of dodgery by the
accoutrements of deftly duplicitous orchestration
and to
191) veil, right up to the very verge of dripping schwarmerei, under a
veristic veneer of verisimilitudinous replication and a
crafty construct of recondite codification with
all kinds of caricature and spurious characterization,
all the
192) imports of vaingloriously vagarious verjuice focusing the
parameters of pent up vim, vigor and vivification that
enkindle the bonfire and stoke up the edacious flames, those
inventions of voguishly vitriolic vituperation
which
193) vamp up such heart-hardening, fearsomely freakish phobias,
bearish bugaboos and egregious ebullitions of
whizbang razzmatazz, goody-goody gobbledygook, and
gale-force gusts of bullying fustigation;
such
194) unreasoningly raging, widely concerted campaigns of
virilely vulpine, vigilantly vile, vulturous,
irrefragably and contageously venomous vexation; a
vertiginous vendetta of general character assassination
while
195) halfheartedly hiding behind a hiply handy to-do of
recreant hemming and hawing, hyaloid ho-humming and
honeying with a mellifluously effluent, perfective nisus of
enchantingly Pickwickian misrepresentation
such a
196) tetchily tenacious, intractably inflexible,
overtly viperous and veridically virulent variety of
villainous valiance in a vale of inveterately visceral
vengeance and viciously vindictive vilification.



But
197) No. With agonal attempts to allay any
manneristic airs of agonistic atticism while
also ardently bypassing and avoiding any
rococo ornamentation of oracular calumniation,
and
198) avidly averting any pejorative appellation, or the
acrid flow, the flood, the tempestuous tide, the
full fluviatile amplitude of guilt, self-disgust even
including bodily mortifying self-flagellation
which would
199) ineludibly inhere to anxieties of inadequacy in
unceasing circumspection and self-exploration, (for
socialization, that would be a slouchy succedaneum
hardly marked by any kind of modesty in the minimization
of
200) impercipiently flibbertigibbety, hammily niminy-piminy,
disproportionately, purblindly proud and prismatic,
orgulously orotund, inordinately overblown, even
farcically vain and vacuously courtly coruscation),
while neither
201) pusillanimously pussyfooting squarely into loblollies of
scholarly squiggling and agnostic subjectivization nor
pratfalling into potholes or paratactical mudpuddles of
unsalvagability in encumbering equivocation,
nor
202) plowing into philological pits of piddling piffle all
antsy and atwitter with misdirectional fecundation, nor