Questions aren't going as ghosts but as mattresses? 
If a mute swears, does his mother wash his hands with soap?
If someone with multiple personalities threatens to kill himself, is it considered a hostage situation?
Isn't it a bit unnerving that doctors call what they do "practice?"
Would a fly without wings be called a walk?
If a turtle doesn't have a shell, is he homeless or naked?
Why don't sheep shrink when it rains?
Can vegetarians eat animal crackers?
How do they get the deer to cross at that yellow road sign?
Is it true that cannibals don't eat clowns because they taste funny?
If one synchronized swimmer drowns, do the rest have to drown too?
If you ate pasta and antipasta, would you still be hungry?
If you try to fail, and you succeed at it, which have you done?
If corn oil comes from corn, where does baby oil come from?
If it's tourist season, why can't we shoot them?
Why do kamikaze pilots wear helmets?
Why do they call it a TV set when you only get one?
Do radioactive cats have 18 half-lives?
Why do people sing "Take Me Out To The Ball Game" when they're already there?
Why do people say "tuna fish?" They don't say "beef mammal" or "chicken bird"?
And whose cruel idea was it to put the "S" in the word "lisp"?
When an agnostic dies, does he go to the Great Perhaps?
Can atheists get insurance for acts of God?
Why isn't there mouse-flavored cat food?
How do you know when you've run out of invisible ink?
How much deeper would the ocean be if sponges didn't grow in it?
Why do we call them apartments when they are attached to one another? Shouldn't they be called attachments?
Why are they called buildings, when they're already finished? Shouldn't they be called builts?
After eating, do amphibians need to wait an hour before getting OUT of the water?
Do Roman paramedics refer to IV's as "4's"?
What do little birdies see when they get knocked unconscious?
If you got into a taxi and he started driving backwards, would the taxi driver end up owing you money?
Since Americans throw rice at weddings, do orientals throw hamburgers?
Why do ballet dancers always dance on their toes? Wouldn't it be easier to just hire taller dancers?
If a train station is where a train stops, what is a workstation?
Isn't Disney World just a big people trap operated by a mouse?
What would a chair look like if your knees bent the other way?
If "con" is the opposite of "pro, then what is the opposite of progress?
Is boneless chicken considered to be an invertebrate?
When cheese gets it's picture taken, what does it say?
What happens to the holes when all the Swiss cheese has been eaten?
If you take an Oriental person and spin him around several times, does he become disoriented?
Ever wonder what the speed of lightning would be if it didn't zigzag?
How could I have been doing 70 miles an hour when I've only been driving for 10 minutes?
If you read a lot of books, you're considered well-read. But if you watch a lot of TV, are you considered well-viewed?
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