Signs an Athlete is Using a Banned Substance Gets "psyched" before each competition by banging his head against a locker, although he's on the chess team. Her javelin was shot down by jet fighters. Killed two spectators and a line judge with his forehand lob at this year's French Open. Although a sprinter, he won both the Indy 500 and the Preakness. Swimmer's refusal to trim beard and wax chest costs her valuable seconds in the 100-meter freestyle. Remainder of high-jump event postponed until he lands. Somehow manages to win the 100-meter butterfly without getting wet. Signs new contract for $6 over 2 million years. Instead of exploding out of the blocks, he just explodes. According to the urine test, he's six-weeks pregnant. [author and source unknown] Home / Humor and Whimsy