Signs an Athlete is Using a Banned Substance • Gets "psyched" before each competition by banging his head against a locker, although he's on the chess team. • Her javelin was shot down by jet fighters. • Killed two spectators and a line judge with his forehand lob at this year's French Open. • Although a sprinter, he won both the Indy 500 and the Preakness. • Swimmer's refusal to trim beard and wax chest costs her valuable seconds in the 100-meter freestyle. • His red and yellow jersey reads, "Track Cartel de Colombia." • Absent-mindedly shows up at starting blocks with syringe dangling from arm. • Remainder of high-jump event postponed until he lands. • Somehow manages to win the 100-meter butterfly without getting wet. • Signs new contract for $6 over 2 million years. • Instead of exploding out of the blocks, he just explodes. • According to the urine test, he's six-weeks pregnant. (author unknown) Home / Humor