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Eggnog, tinsel, falling snow Buttered rum and mistletoe Christmas trees and hanging lights The sound of carolers fills the night Shopping hours long and hard Visa phones and cancels your card Unpaid bills and mounting debts Family gathers - depressions sets Drinking starts, harsh words are said Dysfunction rears its Yuletide head Arguments turn to bouts of shovin' Drunken brother punches cousin Tree tips over, popping lights Curtains catch, house ignites No one hears the reindeer cries Wedged in chimney - Santa dies Home / Humor |